Dancing with the stars (in your eyes)

Much speculation round the Cave, Watchers, as to what tune Dotty could have been dancing to when pictured in the Chron yesterday. We all know Mickey is master of the two step, so the general consensus is that the Deputy Mayor might have been dancing to an altogether different tune. One composed, in fact, by one Michael Laws, and modeled on that old classic first made famous by Ferlin Husky & Jean Shephard way back in 1953, but probably in most people's memories thanks to a TV commercial for a brand of cassette tape.

Dear Dot, oh how I hate to write
Dear Dot, I must let you know what's what
That my love for you has died
because you’re such a silly clot
And I’m mayor for ever after, dear Dot

I was posing on TV when the truth did come to me
I’m sticking round in Wangas and I‘m happy as could be
Cause the fighting’s not all over and my wrecking’s not yet done
So sorry Dot I’ve changed my mind, I’m having too much fun.
Sod off now, don’t complain, cos I’ve got too much dirt
On you and all the rest of them, and girl, I’ll make you hurt
And it pains me so to tell you that my love for you is shot
So leave this town to Michael Laws, dear Dot

Occupying the minds of Watchers too was the unwittingly apocryphal nature of the Chron's "What Dot Learned" sidebar which, with only one minor edit, could so readily apply to the coming year or so sitting in the passenger seat as Mickey drives diVision headlong to disaster:

• Step on your heels, not [other people's] toes
• Smile
• Don't look down
• Lift your feet
• Look like you're enjoying yourself

But above all else, Watchers, we think the photo above deserves a place in the infamous pantheon of LawsWatch caption contests. What could Deputy Dotty be thinking, or saying, as she's whisked around the dance floor? "Now I see why Michael was so keen for me to do this: I never get to lead" perhaps?

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Bemoaning the "moaners"

Displaying the sort of nonsensical syllogism which only Mickey can spew forth (bad parents harm their children; some Maori harm their children; therefore Maori are bad parents), his latest free election advertisement column in the Chron targets people who "moan". Indeed, such is his disapproval of such people that he spends well over 500 words... well, moaning about them.

The particular syllogism of this column runs: many people oppose me; some of those who do have a tendency to moan; therefore anyone who opposes me must be a "moaner". To support this argument he draws on opinion pieces evidently written by former Mayor Chas Poynter and former MP (and chairman of the council's economic development committee) the late John Lithgow.

Both men chastised the "moaners, groaners and whiners" who criticise every new council initiative - and want to keep Wanganui in a developmental straitjacket. They considered that there was a "negative element" in the city who never saw any good in anything. They were right.

He doesn't, of course, offer the thinnest shred of evidence that either man held such opinions: we have to take his word for it. And the phrase "moaners, groaners and whiners" is wrapped in quotes but not attributed to anyone in particular. Which wouldn't be a huge problem, except that he devotes some of the rest of his space to moaning about people who make statements but "offer not a skerrick of evidence". But that only applies, of course, to people who disagree with the Mayor.

Wanganui does possess a "chip on the shoulder" brigade who can't conceive that the district can ever prosper without their direct imprimatur or involvement... They tend to express this irritation through... nonsensical submissions to annual or long-term plans. If one was to distil their advice into a phrase, then it would be this: don't do anything unless I, personally, can gain a direct benefit.

Again, not a skerrick of evidence to support this remarkable assertion. Certainly not on the Council website LTCCP section, the most obvious place to make them available, where it would have been a simple matter to compile the submissions received. After all, they've had since 12 May. Just how many of the submissions were "nonsensical"? Why? And most importantly, how many failed to declare some conflict of interest, admitting that if their submission was accepted, they would "gain a direct benefit"?

So we have the Mayor of Wanganui alleging that an unspecified proportion of those citizens who made a submission to the Annual and LTCC Plans were fruitcakes and/or crooks. But not a skerrick of evidence - this too we are expected to take entirely on trust.

Then there are the heated imaginings of some letter writers that council has a secret plan to sell Wanganui Gas. Unlike most conspiracy theorists, they offer not a skerrick of evidence. Nor even the shadow. If we were going to sell it, we would have put it in our 10-Year Plan to be formally adopted this week. We haven't... It is currently a good investment. It is staying a ratepayer-owned asset. End of story.

We're meant to have confidence that an asset won't be sold by a Council which recently "found" additional surplus properties which were, in fact, for sale but weren't on the register. Okay... make a note, Watchers. That's as close to an unequivocal assertion from Mickey as you're ever likely to see. But given that if the Splash Centre budget looked any more pear shaped it'd be in an Alison Holst recipe book, start deconstructing that "promise" for loopholes now, just in case.

On to a predictable but somewhat unwise spray at Rosemary Hovey, which we won't repeat here as the whole business is likely to end up in messy litigation and we're running low on rupees here at the Cave. But then this...

...it didn't stop a former councillor coming out in support. Who would not have had a clue as to the redundancy process at council, nor the individual case.

So former Community Committee chair Vivien Eyers burst forth with a statement to the Chron without knowing even the basic facts of the Hovey case? She never discussed the circumstances of Hovey's redundancy with the person concerned, let alone read any of the many public statements made by the CEO, Cr Higgie and others putting the Council's point of view before offering an opinion? Then either she is incredibly stupid, or the Mayor of Wanganui has just made a baseless accusation of stupidity against a former councillor without a skerrick of evidence. We know which option we're backing.

Little wonder then that I smiled in empathy at the comments of Chas Poynter and John Lithgow. And a few other councillors sitting around our table would have done so as well.

We're sure Michael Laws was smirking - after all, that and a scowl is pretty much his full range of facial expression. But as for Dotty, Muzza, Nicki and the rest: someone should tell the Diva the difference between a smile and an idiot grin.

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Keeping the horror in scope

Yes Watchers, never mind Wanganui Anniversary Day, get out the bunting, light the blue touchpaper and stand well back, it's Mickey's birthday. We think it only fair he gets one day a year off from the unwavering scrutiny of LawsWatch so we'll instead hand over to our assembled team of experts to mark this great day with suitable gravitas.

First, we are of course anxious that Mickey have an enjoyable day. Alas, not according to the anonymous portents from Horoscope.com:

With the negative aspect against the moon, which is still in your sign, you are likely to feel bouts of dissatisfaction today. You’ll be more inclined to give rather than take!

We were a little confused by this too, Watchers. "Give rather than take?". But horoscopes have to be read in full to be properly comprehended, so when read in conjunction with the preceding sentence we can see it'll be a typical day at Guyton Street - Mickey won't get things all his own way, will be dissatisified, and thus "give, rather than take" a stream of invective aimed at those he considers responsible. Then the mystics offer the Diva a Chinese Proverb:

"After the game, the king and the pawn go in the same box."

That may just be inscrutable oriental wisdom trying to remind the Diva that when he's finished playing politics, both he and the rest of us have to live in what's left of Wanganui. More wisdom of the inscrutable kind later. But what of those who, like Mickey, are actually born on this auspicious day?

The months ahead are likely to start with various and temporary challenges in terms of finances... These minor problems will distract you a little too much, and could cause a dent in your confidence, but some kind of positive achievement at work or school will put you back on track again, and by November the ideas will be flowing thick and fast.

To which we can only respond: Uh oh! Mickey + Ideas = Trouble. Especially when the're inevitably both thick and fast. After that the predictions start rambling about romance, so we'll spare you that mental picture and move on... to the Motivational Quote for the day.

Now we have to admit, Watchers, that months of rigorous analysis of factual data here in the Cave has, if anything, hardened our scepticism. But the mystical electrons have certainly brought forth the most appropriate quotation for our birthday boy. It is, in fact, nothing less then the creed by which he lives:

Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is... impossible.
- Richard Bach, from Illusions

Spooky, isn't it Watchers?! So for a second opinion we turned to well-known star gazer Susan Miller, of Astrology Zone:

As June begins, you appear to be worried about rising expenses. As of June 3, Mars will begin to strongly energize your second house, ruling your income, spending, and focus on possessions, and will join Saturn, a planet already there. The combination of these two strange bedfellows - the Red Planet urging you to act, and Saturn urging you to stop and think - suggests that you may be hit with a number of bills that absolutely have to be paid but you might not know precisely how to do that. Saturn is notorious about not letting us off the hook, so there appears to be no way around paying the piper.

This is getting too weird, Watchers! But bravely we read on:

June 5 could be the day this all seems to reach critical mass. Uranus, the ruler of your eighth house of credit cards, loans, alimony, and child support, along with other financial obligations, will send an angry glance to the Sun, and as a result, someone in authority will be quite clear about presenting you with the option of paying, or else. For some reason, this seems to come on unexpectedly.

June 5 was around the time the size of the stormwater debt became apparent! Shivers are now running down our spines (Note to Vision councillors: That's a bony thing most other people have running between their skull and their pelvis).

You may feel a bit overwhelmed at the time, but keep reminding yourself that there's an answer to every question - you simply have to find it. Sometimes it's hiding in plain sight, so take a deep breath and think about ways to find the money. Jupiter's position suggests that something you make, write, or otherwise create could help solve this money crunch. That might be a clue that will help you most, although it's not the only one.

Hmmm... the money he needs to fund pork barrelling is in plain sight? Of course! It's the ratepayers.

I am trying to help you brainstorm, for clearly, it appears you are in a tight spot. Your family might be helpful too, as Venus will be in a friendly angle to Uranus, and Venus rules your natural solar fourth house of home and family.

Well with Venus being at a friendly angle to Uranus... yes, alright, we know that's a cheap shot, even for us.

Money - or more accurately, a shortfall of it - will be the main bugaboo of the month. You seem frustrated at your inability to stay one step ahead of rising expenses. Present and prospective employers seem to have been, and will continue to be, tightfisted - the main problem.

Employers? That would be the people who elected you, Mickey, just in case you were wondering. But let's return, as promised, to the predictions of a mystic cabal of ancient oriental sages. Well, the predictions of ChineseAstrology.com actually, but we're sure that they must at least employ a few Asian computer programmers.

It will come as no surprise to regular readers of LawsWatch to learn that Mickey is a rooster. That is to say, he was born in the Year of the Rooster and thus, according to Chinese Astrology at least, exhibits many of the characteristics of that beast:

The Rooster is the strutting peacock of the Chinese Zodiac! These quick thinkers are practical and resourceful, preferring to stick to what is tried and true rather than taking messy, unnecessary risks...

Well they got off to a good start, but the crystal ball (ancient oriental sages don't use crystal balls - Ed) seems to be going cloudy...

Roosters aren't shifty or cagey and have no interest in hiding behind a facade. They are the proverbial open book, telling the truth and keeping their word. If you show your hand, the Rooster will respect you for it. This kind of trusting behavior can tempt tricksters to pull a fast one on the Rooster, but that would be a bad move! Remember, this Sign doesn't indulge in flights of fancy and keeps those eyes wide open at all times...

Yep, the sages must have tuned the crystal ball into the wrong frequency (they don't use crystal balls!! - Ed).

Roosters tend to be perfectionists and expect to be in control, especially over their appearance. Primping and posing for the Rooster can go on forever! Being noticed and admired is an aphrodisiac for Roosters... Roosters also adore being out on the town, especially if they're in the company of adoring friends...

Being admired by adoring friends is an aphrodisiac? That explains the secret diVision caucus meetings, then.

Roosters also expect to be in control of their surroundings, including whoever happens to be in those surroundings...

And so does that! These sages are rapidly regaining our confidence.

This Sign would also do well to learn to adopt the philosophy of "live and let live"; perhaps an appeal to the Rooster's logic - that it's inefficient to waste time nagging others - will help this Sign learn to let others be whomever and however they are.

This isn't, alas for Mickey, the Year of the Rooster. It is, in fact, the Year of the Dog. Aside from bits of rooster occasionally appearing in the canned diet of the dog, these two creatures aren't exactly natural allies. So how will a rooster like Mickey fare for the remainder of this year? We consulted Master Rao (Who?? I hope we're not paying for this nonsense. - Ed).

Second quarter

Your professional situation will be good. You'll be quite satisfied despite some clouds here and there: You'll have original ideas, and you'll be supported and helped by your entourage. Your intuition, which will be remarkable these days, will help you to avoid the banana peels that might be placed on your way. Don't neglect the advice that people will give you during this period, as it'll prove very profitable to you.

Well Mickey is certainly being "supported and helped by his entourage". But he doesn't seem to have quite mastered the whole "not neglecting advice" thing yet. So keep sending LawsWatch those banana peels, Watchers.

Third quarter

Your affairs will look like a real battlefield. You must at the very start put all your pawns in the game with the utmost care if you want to achieve the targeted successes; and then go straight forward, trying to demolish all obstacles on your way. However, remain realistic and don't indulge in unethical acts with a view to taking advantage over your adversaries. If you follow this bit of advice, the star Liem Trinh will not disappoint you. Do not embark on such gigantic and excessive undertakings, as it will be impossible for you to bring them to fruition.

Let's see - treating pawns with the utmost care. That'll mean putting on a few more secret soirees for the diVisionites, so they'll continue to feel they're making a significant contribution by nodding in agreement with everything Mickey says. That whole "unethical acts" prohibition could prove tricky for someone who's demonstrated in the past they're not entirely sure what is unethical.

We've already applied for jobs moonlighting as fortune tellers, since Watchers have been telling Mickey for months not to "embark on excessive undertakings, because they'll be impossible to bring to fruition".

Fourth quarter

So many celestial impacts in the career domain! What should you do? Adapt yourself. The current evolution, even though it presents itself unexpectedly, will prove to be positive in the long run. For most of you, the changes that will take place will rapidly become interesting. For some rare natives born in Metal years, things may seem rather delicate at first; however, even what may seem to be a failure to them will quickly turn out to be positive by being a springboard for them to make a new start.

We're not sure whether Mickey was born in a "metal" year - by this time our eyes were swimming with astrological signs. But we'd certainly join with the sages in hoping the year ends with him making a new start somewhere - anywhere but here, in fact.

Birthday wishes to Mickey are now closed.

Squawk boxing

An interesting point - though not one made directly in the Radio NZ report on Councils' spending - is that they've published a figure of 4.1%, apparently quoting none other than Mayor Michael Laws as touting this as the lowest in the country, without even questioning the fact that the propaganda meant for Wanganui's citizens has been steadfastly quoting three percent. Is Mr Maslin moonlighting at RNZ, we wonder?

The Diva is also quoted as saying the WDC has "moved to justify every element of its spending". Someone should tell him that squawking "it won the referendum!" doesn't justify anything on any basis other than populism - certainly not an economic basis, or planning or even a social one.

He also boasts of sacking six senior managers but makes no mention of his intention to restock the Council's legal and engineering departments, no doubt with people hand-picked to give him the answers he wants on the afforability and legality of the contents of his pork barrel. Meanwhile the low-level haemmorhage of staff is continuing, with two walkers from the engineering-planning area in recent weeks.

Talking of squawking, Mickey's rant on 13 June has had the chattering classes occupied for most of last week. Apparently, democracy is well and truly dead in Wanganui. According to the Mayor, who was reportedly standing on it's throat while dictating that day's press release, committees exist only to rubber stamp his proposals. If they don't, they'll be ignored. Specially if, like the Heritage Committe, they actually have real people on them, as opposed to tame councillors.

Heritage, as we're sure you're all aware, chucked out his idea for a Wanganui Anniversary Day. That drew an immediate outburst from Mickey (complete with headline exclamation mark!) reminding us that committees can only recommend. And when they recommend something that isn't a pet project of his, that doesn't count - they're just a bunch of incompetents, and anyway not everyone turned up for the meeting. And anything a committee does has to go to full Council (where of course he can tug the strings and set heads a-nodding like those dog toys people used to put in the rear windows of their cars before we had actual suspension).

This fine piece of penmanship appeared on the Council website, but then someone decided it might be wise to balance it with a somewhat more moderate rant in the name of Mickey's boy Marty. Clearly someone in the hierachy has decided it's better to put the bucket beneath the elephant as soon as it starts bellowing rather than follow it round afterwards with a broom. That must be one of those "efficiencies" we keep hearing so much about.

Having gone to so much trouble to educate the burghers of Wanganui that Council committees weren't actually there to be listened to - or accorded any respect by the Mayor - the Diva managed a pirouette of incredible skill the next day.

How anyone who can instantaneously reverse their position 180 degrees with such consummate skill could have failed to make the cut for "Dancing with the Stars" eludes us, truly it does.

The Administration and Finance Committee had, you see, approved his plans for the waterfront, choosing Option One (Mickey's favourite, and the most expensive of course), over the alternative. So not a word in his subsequent release about it having to go to full Council for approval, let alone about how weak and ineffective committees were. No, this decision was praiseworthy because it had come from senior councillors, he managed to tell us whilst keeping a straight face.

Turns out all the moving and seconding on the waterfront was by Vision (Dottie and Muzza) or Vision-in-drag's Rangi Wills. Since when did these fresh-from-the-bottle fizzers become senior councillors?

A few days later, the smoke started pouring from the windows of Guyton Street as the Spin Machine's gears attempted another 180 degree reversal. Seems another one of those pesky committees that isn't stacked with "senior" councillors gave the Diva the single digit salute. This time it's Haker-Bogan's lot telling Wanganui Inc to bugger off:

The Masters Games Organisation yesterday won the battle to have control of the Wanganui District Council's $40,000 two-yearly contribution towards the cost of the 2007 Masters Games. The council's sport and recreation committee voted strongly in favour of the Masters Games taking the money after receiving written and spoken submissions from Masters Games and Wanganui Inc, who were both vying for it...

A Games takes between $800,000 and $900,000 to run, and the District Council’s offering is $40,000. Committee members heard that the Dunedin City Council, in Wanganui’s "off-year", contributes around 90 percent of the cost of its turn at the Masters Games...

The subject of whether indebted sports – in financial trouble in other words – should be a subject of this committee was discussed briefly. It was suggested the sport and rec committee should stay with the positiveness of helping sports develop.

Positiveness?? Why use four syllables when there's the perfect four-letter single-syllable word for this: It's called spin, Phillipa.

The Masters Games folk were recently on the receiving end of a Mayoral spray for taking a "junket" to Australia - we imagine they're sheltering beneath their umbrellas for a deluge worse than the recent weather for snatching money from the hands of Mickey and the New Boys on the Wanganui Inc board.

With wastewater now estimated at $118.5 million, and the referendum pork-barreling needing to be funded, plus these miscellaneous expectations coming home to roost, are they going to be funded by more and more asset sales? At this rate Wanganui Gas will be on the block before we know it.

All these recommendations will hit the next full Council meeting on 3 July. We won't be taking bets on which pass and which are overturned. We're sure that councillors will follow the tradition of robust scrutiny and open debate exemplified by the patsy questioners showcased in the Mayor's Chron columns - this week none other than diVision stalwarts and members of the inner circle Gordon Keelty and Julie Morris (wife of Nigelwho).

Has anyone submitted a question to Mayor Michael Laws and so far not received an answer? Or had it rejected? If so, we'd be interested to hear. And if you're submitting one, c.c. LawsWatch - we'll publish it here so everyone knows whether it gets a reply and, if so, what that reply says.

Then again, we could be misjudging Mickey. Perhaps he needs the patsy questioners because, like his radio show, no one else is listening, or gives a damn.

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Dr WTF

Time and again we find ourselves penning a "Civics 101" lecture in order to counter the misleading spin put out by Michael Laws, and this post is no exception. So apologies in advance to those readers who have already cottoned on to the basic precepts of democracy. We're obliged to do this occasionally to help out those who have not (Mickey, Dotty and the dwarves, the entire editorial staff of the Chron and a smattering of LW commenters).

What's sparked this latest lecture is Mickey's tired drum-banging about the previous Council's supposed "financial slackness", as Dave Laurence termed it in a Chron story recently.

Leaving aside for the moment that Mickey has quite a few "control weaknesses" of his own, the Mayoral hyperbole that the report was "one of the worst he had seen in his 20 years in the public sector" was allowed through without so much as a question.

Those readers who were waiting for the Chron to ask the obvious, like "how does that tally with the horrific scare stories you keep telling us about Auckland's pending 200 percent rates rise, then?" were sorely disappointed.

But more importantly, the fearless guardian of Wanganui's fourth estate allowed the Mayor to get away with saying he considered that "the audit was saying to elected representatives that they were responsible for the council's financial management".

Errr, no. Not unless the Audit Office has lost all touch with reality. Because as just about any Year 9 student who's been paying attention in social studies can tell you, the elected representatives on any body set policy and employ a chief executive who carries the can for financial management.

Now then Watchers. Sit up straight, pay attention, and open no less an authority than the Local Government Association's useful handbook for those who weren't paying attention at school:

Generally the council:

• sets major policy (including strategic, annual and district plans, long-term financial strategies and funding policies)
• appoints and monitors the performance of the chief executive
• approves major contracts
• determines the council’s committee structure, membership and delegations
• builds iwi relationships
• makes decisions on matters that aren’t delegated to committees or council staff.

Still not convinced? Then let's see what we can ascertain from the Council's own Governance Policy:

The Chief Executive is appointed by the Council in accordance with section 42 and clauses 33 and 34 of Schedule 7 of the Local Government Act 2002. The Chief Executive implements and manages the Council’s policies and objectives within the budgetary constraints established by the Council. Under section 42 of the Local Government Act 2002, the responsibilities of the Chief Executive are:

• implementing the decisions of the Council
• providing advice to members of the Council and Community Boards
• ensuring that all responsibilities, duties and powers delegated to the Chief Executive or to any person employed by the Wanganui District Council, or imposed or conferred by any Act, regulation or bylaw are properly performed or exercised
• ensuring the effective and efficient management of the activities of Wanganui District Council
• maintaining systems to enable effective planning and accurate reporting of the financial and service performance of the Council
• providing leadership for the staff of the Council
• employing staff, including negotiation of the terms of employment for the staff, of the Wanganui District Council

Mr Whitlock, of course, got out while the going was good so is unlikely to be called to account for any perceived failing to perform any of those functions. And pillorying him wouldn't score Mickey any cheap political points anyway.

But let us return to the Chron's unasked questions. Right after they'd let Mickey bang on for column centimetre afer column centimetre lamenting "the system which the incoming council inherited" which was "manifestly inadequate and grossly deficient, exposing the organisation to risk", we get given a few examples, one of which is:

There was a hand slap for the district library’s "unders and overs" account, which arose from discrepancies between cash banked and cash sales entered into the accounting system.

Hold on... a financial stuff up at the library? On such a basic level as accurately recording cash receipts? (Note: the Audit Office said there was no indication of fraud. Which just leaves incompetence). But hasn't the person responsible for the library at the time, on whose desk the buck stopped (or, it seems, in this case didn't stop) just been... promoted by Mickey?

Was the Chron not aware of this? Was Mr Laurence asleep, leaving his tape recorder to faithfully record the Mayoral rant? Or did he just rehash a Guyton Street press release and allow Mr Maslin to run it under his byline? We'd concude by asking, rhetorically, "have they no shame?". But we suspect we know the answer to that, as do most of you.

Off topic admin note: Thanks to those Watchers who raised the issue of the difficulty they had locating LawsWatch in the ever-growing world wide web. We can be found by typing "Laws Watch" into most search engines, but otherwise it has been difficult. We've taken some technical steps to remedy this in the past few weeks, and the results should slowly become evident in search engines etc. We'd also encourage supporters to add the blog's address to their email-signatures, to tell their friends about it (just tell them to Google "Laws Watch") and - if you're really that keen - to take up the suggestion of posting flyers etc. But please - remain with the law and use common sense.

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Porkies on pork

As at least one commenter has already noted under the previous post, the story in today's Chron about the departure of Rosemary Hovey from Council after 21 years of loyal service highlights the fact that promises were made - including by Nicki "I don't read unsigned emails" Higgie in the Chron as recently as May 30 - regarding a community development position being established in the Luftwaffe sorry, the Sally Patrick wing of the Council.

A promise that was subsequently broken. "I did not expect to be restructured out completely," Mrs Hovey is quoted as saying. Nor, we suspect, did she expect over two decades of loyalty to be rewarded with a "don't come Monday" notice on the first day of her holidays. But that's the way it is around Council nowadays. Any number of things - including people - are being sacrificed to find the money, not to reduce debt, but to pay for diVision's pork barrelling of projects such as the Splash Centre.

Commenters have been quick to blame Mayor Michael Laws for the way in which the layoffs were handled, especially since Mrs Hovey reveals that after she wrote to CEO David Warburton asking for written answers about her future, his response "necessitated a letter from her own lawyer". Mickey's record on industrial relations is, after all, less than perfect, having - as we've pointed out in the past - already cost the taxpayer a wallop at least once in the past. And it certainly seems like his modus operandi.

"All further correspondence was then between my lawyer and the council’s lawyers. I did not find any pleasure in this way of resolving matters," she understatedly tells the Chron. "I am disappointed with the tone of the letters I received throughout this process, especially as I felt threatened by them", ominously adding that "It would be fair to say this caused me much angst and may require some follow-up in the future".

Not so fast though, Watchers. LawsWatch has already revealed that Dr Warburton also has an equally appalling record on human resources management, especially when it comes to getting rid of people.

It was Warburton's company, Tanner Group Ltd, which announced it was closing its three paper mills at Kaitaia, Kerepehi and Tairua because it couldn't make a profit. TGL told workers on a Friday that they had until Monday to come up with a way to keep their plant open. Local MP Sue Bradford said at the time that local people were "bitter" towards the company because it had "kept its workers in the dark for some time".

That whole "four days to save your own backside" line sound familiar, Watchers? It ought to. Back in May, that's precisely what was told to Irene Pearson, who was called into Warburton’s office on a Monday and told the council was restructuring and her job was gone. As the Chron reported at the time "Dr Warburton gave her four days to suggest somewhere else in council where she might fit in. She asked what the master plan was, and was told he could not discuss it. That left her at a loss to know where she could fit in."

And then, when the workers get bolshy, the threats begin. For it was Tanner Group which, just a month before decimating the three timber towns, lost an Employment Relations Act case in which it was alleged to have "threaten[ed the] applicant with disciplinary action over [a] term of employment that had not been directly and expressly negotiated and [the] contents of which remained uncertain between parties".

Now the treatment of Mrs Hovey et al may well have Mayoral fingerprints all over it. But in this case it's just as likely to have been Dr Warburton who trained the big lawyerly guns on the first person to peek over the parapet, and blew their head off.

Mickey, Nicki, Dotty et al knew all about his record before he was hired. They knew he had no local government experience, yet according to both Dotty and the Diva, "over fifty people applied for the top job including CEOs of three other councils and the heads of two government agencies". So he was picked for a reason. Now we know what it was. He's a codependent:

Codependent personalities evolve from attempts to keep some type of order in a hurtful relationship. The term codependency refers to a relationship where one or both parties enable the other to act in certain maladaptive ways. Many times, the act of enabling satisfies a need for the codependent person because his or her actions foster a dependency from the other person or persons in the relationship.

Codependency is reinforced by a person's need to be needed. The enabler thinks irrationally by believing he can maintain healthy relationships through manipulation and control. He believes he can do this by avoiding conflict and fostering dependency. Is it rational for someone to think that he can maintain a healthy relationship when he does not address problems and he lies to protect others from their responsibilities?

Still, we're sure Dr Warbond (© Bearhunter, 2006) has "shared with the full council" the latest decision to not have a community development staffer after all, as promised in the e-coli of 15 May:

Unsurprisingly, Dr Warburton is restructuring the current council to make it more efficient and effective. He has shared his restructuring plan with the full council, and those plans have been formally approved.

Perhaps he'll also "share with the full council" (in open meeting, of course - it's our money he's spending, after all) just how much that highly paid Wellington employment lawyer is hoovering up to deal with all this.

So... Nicki? Dotty? Anyone? Prepared to step up and take responsibility for this? Or content to let the not-so-good doctor continue to "not address problems and protect others from their responsibilities?"

Comments on this post are now closed.

Same crap, different day

It's late at the Cave, so we figured you deserved a bedtime story.

One day little Dotty and her friend (we'll call him Mickey) were going through the bills they had to pay to keep their clubhouse running.

"Good grief!" shrieked Mickey, waving a bill from the plumber. "That's outrageous!! It's scandalous!! These people need to be brought to heel, investigated, pilloried in the town square!! No one should charge these sorts of prices for plumbing and get away with it! Thank goodness I wasn't Club President when the plumber was called," he hastily added, knowing full well that he'd have had to call them anyway.

"But Mickey," asked little Dotty, hoping that if she asked the right question she would, as usual, be rewarded with a lollipop, "isn't plumbing essential? Everyone needs to use it after all, even if not everyone spends up on three ply. Surely the other club members will realise that?"

"No!" yelled Mickey, searching his pockets for his mobile to call his friend Johnny and get him to print rude things on toilet walls about the people who did the plumbing. "Our friends shouldn't have to pay a lot for the clubhouse. Those poor, long suffering people... my people... look Dotty, can you see just the hint of a tear forming right there, in the corner of my eye?"

Dotty never liked looking Michael in the eye, but she nodded anyway and pretended she agreed. That was always enough for Mickey, anyway.

"The last thing I wanted to do," said Mickey, practising his indignation for when the other members arrived, "was burden people with increased club membership fees, not just this year but every year. How will I sleep at nights?!"

"With a picture of yourself on the bedside table, like you always do," said Dotty, and then wondered if that wasn't actually one of those rhetorical questions Mickey kept warning her not to answer. His glance suggested she was right.

"I'll simply explain to everyone that the extra expense is unavoidable," Mickey continued. "Like you said Dotty, plumbing is essential. We need it in the clubhouse and it wasn't even my fault that this greedy plumber was hired. If it wasn't for that, we would have to raise the membership fees. I'm sure I'll be forgiven".

"Yes Mickey!" Dotty cried, jumping up and down but making sure to keep her knees demurely together. "And who will we tell them is to blame for that other big bill, the one for the new swimming pool you wanted? That's about the same amount, isn't it, that you borrowed off those big boys in the city? Actually, if you hadn't ordered a new pool, wouldn't our friends have to pay no extra at all?"

An hour or so later, after she woke up, Dotty realised that Mickey hadn't meant to hit her on the head with the president's gavel.

Like all bedtime stories this is, of course, entirely fantasy.

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