Games people (& politicians) play

Local Body Elections: Nominees

Mayor
DAHYA, Randhir; FLEMING, Russell William; LAWS, Michael Brian; MARTIN, John Bruce; OSBORNE, Chandra Michelle.

WDC election at Large
ANDERSON, Allan Royce; BAKER-HOGAN, Philippa; BROWN, Ian Grant; BULLOCK, Barbara Lynn; DAHYA, Randhir; EDMONDS, Matthew Lyle (Matt); FLEMING, Russell William; FORLONG, Shaun Graham; HIGGIE, Nicole Andree (Nicki); HUDSON, Phillip Edward; HUGHES, Murray John; JANGO; JONAS, Danny Ronald; KEELTY, Gordon James; LINDSAY, Martin Graeme (Marty); LITTLE, Ian Paul; McGREGOR, James Roland (Don); McKINNON, Dorothy Margaret (Dot); McNABB, Andrew; MILNES, John Ingham; MITCHELL-ANYON, Ross; MOORE, Robert Joseph (Rob); OSBORNE, Chandra Michelle; SEARS, Victor Frederick; SIMPSON, Kirsty Nicole; SMITH, Rory James; STEVENS, Gary John; STEVENS, Raymond Mark (Ray); WAITAI, Rana; WESTWOOD, Susan Moya; WILLS, Rangi Marehua.

Whanganui District Health Board
ADAMS, Graham Patrick; ANDERSON, Allan Royce; BAKER, Kevin Owen; BAKER-HOGAN, Philippa June; BROOKHAMMER, Leonie; CURRY, David Andrew; DOUGLAS, William John; FAUMUI, Penaia Albert (PJ); LAWS, Michael Brian; MORRIS, Nygllhuw James (Nigel) ; RAAYMAKERS, Karen Ann; READING, Elinor Ann; SMITH, Heather Marion; SOLOMON, Clive; STEWART, Ailsa Crawford; STRONG, Trevor Alan; STUBBS, Timothy; TURNER, Michael Fisher; TUTHILL, Patricia Elizabeth (Trish) ; VALENTINE, Diana Mary (Di) ; VAUGHAN, Brian Patrick; WAITAI, Rana; WILLS, Rangi Marehua.

More tomfoolery in Visionland

`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

We beseech you, dear Watchers, to join us for another chapter in the tale of Antoinette in Visionland, where our heroine finds herself in the midst of a strange menagerie of Vision candidates wearing funny hats as she defends herself on charges of forging a document.

Even stranger, the King of the Vision court is wearing eye makeup and the Queen is wearing a funny Horizons hat, even though she hardly ever goes to Horizons meetings. (For the evidence of that, dear Watchers, please click here or see the post below). OFF WITH HER HEAD! we hear you shout.

Can this be the sort of ‘tomfoolery’ that caused an outbreak of tutting and tongue clicking in an editorial cutely titled Wrong Choices in today’s Chron(ic)? Of course, we at LawsWatch are reluctant to add to the distress of the House of Laws already caused by the public airing of the oh-so-delicate topic of Leonie Brookhammer’s ratepayer rip-off … distress so acute, in fact, that Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws was forced to breach his own policy of only talking about personal family matters in colour spreads in the Wimin’s Daze or the Sunday Crimes. There he is, on page 3 today, confiding in his buddy Mas that his children’s health may have had something to do with the fact that “Leonie had been unable to attend all those meetings”.

We would love to be able to report that Mas then had an acute attack of journalistic instinct and pointed out to readers that Brookhammer’s maternal obligations didn’t prevent her applying for and getting a Wellington-based job … but of course Mas was inoculated against all variants of Journalism Syndrome the day Mickey rode into town and infected him with a bad dose of Mayoral Love Disease. And that also presumably explains why he politely didn’t ask the Object of his Affection just why he and the mother of his oh-so-sick children still feel comfortable banking close to $90,000 worth of Horizons ratepayers’ dosh, under the circumstances.

We’re inclined to label the whole sorry tale the most immoral and corrupt facist act that we’ve witnessed in the last three years with Michael Laws as mayor .. but that line has already been taken by none other than our bold and fearless defender of democracy himself on today’s front page.

Neither did Mas probe just what sort of shock and horror prompted this comment in the ghost-written press release in the Brookhammer name that carried his byline the day before:

"I also believe that I have the experience and ability to make a greater contribution to Wanganui, closer to home," Cr Brookhammer said.

We are of course awash with empathy for her situation. It must be just awful to have to travel to Palmerston North to put in an appearance at every fourth meeting, in order to avoid being kicked off Horizons and losing the $1200 per meeting she’s been pulling in. So whatever new close to home ratepayer rort Mayor Michael has in mind, we’re sure she’ll not only stand by her man but ensure the House of Laws continues to receive it’s share of ratepayer or taxpayer funding.

Meanwhile, Watchers, we were somewhat amused by the antics of that venerable old rag Women’s Weekly which kicked up its heels, lifted its skirt, poured a nice sherry and engaged in a bit of risqué humour to celebrate its 75th birthday. Running photos of the eye-linered one and “courageous cancer battler” Jools Topp of Topp Twins fame, WW pointed out the uncanny resemblance.

Which prompted the Stuff gossip columnist to opine:

I'd say we blame Michael Laws for this fashion crossover and suggest he stop wearing so much eyeliner.

Here at LawsWatch we think it’s hardly fair on either Topp Twin to be compared with what TV One’s Monday satire show FaceLift more accurately referred to as “Wanganui’s poofter mayor”.

Nice work if you can get it

RECORD OF ATTENDANCE OF CR LEONIE BROOKHAMMER PROVIDED BY HORIZONS REGIONAL COUNCIL UNDER THE OFFICIAL INFORMATION ACT

NB: CR BROOKHAMMER IS APPOINTED TO THE ENVIRONMENT COMMITTEE AND THE PASSENGER TRANSPORT SUB COMMITTEE. ALL COUNCILLORS ARE INVOLVED IN COUNCIL MEETINGS ,STRATEGY & POLICY CTTEE MEETINGS , AND WORKSHOPS.

2004
Meetings held 6 Attended 5 Apology 1

2005
Meetings held 38 Attended 22 Apology 8 , Leave of absence 2 , No apology 6

2006 to August
Meetings held 27 Attended 16 Apology 8 Leave of absence 2 No Apology 1

Since Sept 06 to end June 07
Council/ Special Council ( 10 meetings )
26/09/06 Present 4hours Meeting duration 5 hours 23min.

24/1006 Present 50 mins Meeting duration 5 hours 49 mins

28/11/06 Present 1hour 35mins Meeting Duration 5 hours 12mins

19/12/06 Apology

27/02/07 Apology

13/03/07 Did not attend/ No apology

27/03/07 Did not attend/ No apology

24/04/07 Present 1hour 45 min Meeting duration 5 hours 55min

22/05/07 Apology

26/06/07 Present 1 hour 55min Meeting duration 6 hours 2 mins

Strategy & Policy ( 9 meetings )
12/09/06 Leave of absence

10/10/06 Present 4 hours 45min Meeting duration 5hours 56mins

14/11/06 Present 2hours 36min Meeting duration 3hours 55min

13/02/07, 13/03/07, 21/05/07, Did not attend/ No apology

23/05/07 Apology

6/06/07 Present 1hour 40mins Meeting duration 4hours 5min

Environment Committee ( 5 meetings )
13/09/06 Leave of absence

15/11/06 Present 2hours 2mins Meeting duration 3hours 52min

30/01/07 Did not attend/ No apology

14/03/07 Apology

9/05/07 Did not attend /No apology

Passenger Transport Subcommittee ( 3 meetings )
21/11/06 Present

20/02/07 Present

15/05/07 Present

21/06/07 Did not attend/ No apology

WORKSHOPS Records for attendance began Sept 05
2005 from Sept 2005 Held 11 Attended 4 Apologies 4 No apology 3

2006 to 16^th August06 Held 12 Attended 1 Apologies 3 No apology 8

from Sept o6 to 30^th June 07 Held 15 Attended NIL Leave of absence 1

Apology 2 No Apology 12

Summary

Meetings held during term 139 Attended 54 39%

Meetings held prior to parental leave 81 Attended 46 56% No Apology 7

Meetings held since parental leave 27 Attended 9 33% No Apology 9

Workshops Held prior to parental leave 23 Attended 5 21% No Apology 11

Workshops held since parental leave 15 Attended Nil Nil No Apology 12

Remuneration
TERM Oct 04 to June 07 $ 86,153.55
LAST TWELVE MONTHS 1^st July 06 to 30^th June 07 $ 32,429
Since returning from parental leave $24640
Hourly rate for actual attendance at meetings since returning from parental leave
( 20.5 hours) $1200
Per meeting ( 9 ) $2738

The stupidest tea-party

`At any rate I'll never go there again!' said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'

It must be hell being a Vision CEO right now. On the one hand you’ve got the Auditor-General waving his pre-election guidelines and ruling out the use of council resources for electioneering purposes … on the other hand you’ve got your mad mayor demanding you flout those guidelines with one last mad tea-party … and on yet another hand you’ve got the same mad mayor publicly grandstanding over the cost of you providing him with the very same guideline-busting electioneering photo-ops that he’s demanding from you.

Watchers’ hearts go out to poor Dr Warburton after his very public smacking last week by Wanganui mayor Michael Laws. There he was, busy cleaning the red carpet and dusting off the best wedgewood china for the series of Mad Mayor’s Tea Parties he was told to arrange for voters in the run up to the October 13 elections, when ‘them upstairs’ told him to mind his budget.

All very amusing, no doubt, for the Auditor-General’s lot who seem to labour under the delusion that CEOs are generally a decent, independent bunch of chappies who will happily blow the whistle on blatant electioneering with ratepayers’ money – not merely quibble over the amount to be spent buying votes for the incumbent political party.

Meanwhile, not even the Auditor-General would be naïve enough to expect the Vision dwarves to resile from the chance to push their vote-collecting barrow at the ratepayers’ expense in the Council’s weekly newspaper spin sheet. Since the onset of the three-month pre-election period on July 13 the ‘Councillor comment’ Roll of Shame has featured Vision look-alike Rangi Wills, the incredibly thick Marty Lindsay, bob-each-way Don McGregor, and mayoral wannabe Philippa Baker-Hogan.

However, credit where it’s due and LawsWatch is pleased to toss a bouquet in the direction of perpetual bridesmaid Dot McKinnon who, despite being jilted at the altar by Michael Laws, is gamely sticking around for a slice of the wedding cake. Her last appearance in the tacky little River City Press was on July 11th and she has since spared RCP’s masochistic readers her froth and drivel. Well done, Dotty!

Watchers wondered whether Rana Reckoned he’d also been torpedoed by the RCP after last week’s McKinnon & Waitai-free issue, but it turns out he was just off having an epiphany. No doubt inspired by his fellow ex-cop Chester Borrows’ recent stomach stapling, our Rana has had a bile duct reassignment and he won't be coming to Mad Mickey's tea party after all! After a suitable period of bed rest he was back in print warning the voters against having any truck with his ex-pal Mickey, while beating the drum for challenger John Martin.

Those commenters who have concluded, on the basis of Rana Waitai’s weekly ‘columns’, that he was a prime contender for microchipping or worse, especially those when he’s been barking in support of Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws, may like to take a peep at page 7 of the current River City Press. There he is, pointing the bone fairly and squarely at Mickey for playing the vote-splitting game and treating Whanganui with contempt.

My, how things have changed since the Xmas fairy tarted up her eye-liner and prepared to drop down the Buy-election chimney on December 23, 2005, when our Rana was only too happy to leap in and split the vote for Mickey’s crew. Back then, our favourite anonymickey (the one with 20:20 Vision into the mayoral brain, not to mention his running shorts – but let’s not go there!) made a heartwarming declaration of academic and filial love for “independent” Candidate Waitai:

You've got Rana Waitai wrong - he and the Diva are good mates and saw them together last month. They were in the same Vic law classes and it was actually Laws who encouraged Waitai to stand. They have a mutual relative too I've heard – anonymickey, 5:36 PM, December 23, 2005

Now, Watchers, doesn’t that sound an awful lot like the kind of vote-splitting bile that same anonymickey is now spreading all over the blog, and every other available outlet, as he strokes the Ego from Double SS, aka Candidate Stevens?

Whistling up the dogs

Well done, Wanganui! Your mayor (the one who dragged you into the national sewer when the King of Tonga and Kahui twins died) is at it again.

Just when it seemed he had no better topics than his battle with the Employment Relations Authority or the Museum or the Arts Trust or the iwi … for his Sordid Sunday Sermon, an abused Rotorua toddler was unfortunate enough to end up in Star Ship Hospital. She promptly became collateral damage in Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws’ desperate dog-whistle politicking for the recognition (and votes) of the same rednecks whose racist insecurities lead them the slimy downside of the radio dial. (See Nicky Hagar’s The Hollow Men for an introduction to this sordid form of politicking as cynically employed by Barmy Brash during his brief reign, and across the Tasman by his ideological twin Horrible Howard – or for that matter, any study of Hitler’s enlistment of the anti-Semite cause. Closer to home, refer to Laws’ ignominious days of Asian and Somali refugee bashing as Winston Peters’ chief string-puller with New Zealand First).

So here he is last Sunday:

Maori culture is simply a motif to pick up when the cops come calling … What is it about Maori and child abuse? .. and then back to the familiar refrain: The time has arrived: remove these children at birth from this sub-culture.

And little more than a year ago when the Kahui twins tragedy was unfolding, he was there too – our very own racist Forrest Gump, putting the boot in and tickling the talkback tongues:

But why Maori? What dark skein twists itself within that culture to produce rogue whanau like the Kahui? … And are the Kahui rogue? Or are they symptomatic of an underclass within Maori who are resistant to both mainstream and Maori assistance?

As a LawsWatch anonymii with a penchant for numbers reminded us on July 30:

Last Sunday when yet another battered toddler made the front page of the paper he leapt in and hurled abuse at the perpetrators. How profound. In a column that used the words Maori or Maoridom eighteen times, sixteen of the references were extremely negative. He excused himself of racism on the grounds that he was throwing off the bonds of political correctness. This will give racists a righteous rallying point.

I wonder if the grand plan is for the child beaters to go to war with the racists, or if there is no grand plan and he just can’t pass up a chance to set one part of society against another.

Thanks, Watcher. And predictably, within days Mickey had his Mouthpiece John Maslin whipping up a bit of front-page and editorial page racism in our nasty little excuse for a local rag.

Meanwhile, on the home-front, he’s also stepping up the war with local iwi over that perennial whipping boy – the H! Seems those uppity iwi thought they had been commissioned to come up with a carved entranceway to the council chambers that, as Mickey proclaimed in November 2005, would:

"… recognise the invitation our local iwi gave to settlers to share this region" … “At last,” he said, in the full flush of a little bicultural tic, “we have a Council Chambers that belongs to all of Wanganui, that celebrates our heritage and of which we can all be proud."

But then he saw ‘H’ and then he saw ‘Red’ and a predictable mayoral ‘H’issy Fit ensued .. and you read it here first, Watchers.

So what, we hear you ask yet again, maketh the man(iac) who rides the troughs of gutter politics? Is it that Michael Laws is simply a father and family man beyond moral reproach (you’ll have to ask his extended whanau what they think about that proposition as paraded in the wimins’ mags) or is it something deeper, darker … altogether dafter in fact.

Turn a couple of pages in last week’s Sunday Star-Times from his breakfast bilge and we find Victoria University psychologist Dr Marc Wilson neatly assessing Michael Laws’ political personality as being “remarkably similar to the psychopath”. Says Wilson:

It’s pretty common for people standing for political office to talk about devotion to the public, their commitment to the nation’s interest, their strong sense of responsibility. It’s unusual for politicians to say ‘I’m interested in getting paid and I’m a megalomaniac.”

(And before the sad, single anonymickey of Porritt St rushes to proclaim our First Citizen’s selfless devotion to the public good that leads him to give away his salary, we would point out that the unique ‘salary cycle’ he rides simply positions the mayoralty of our unfortunate city as a means to an (inflated salary) end via the media mouthpieces and dancing spectacles that are sufficiently desperate to be wagged by his 2% redneck tail).