And the crowd said.... "yawn"

We'd like to report that a shocked New Zealand took a moment to take in the news that Wanganui would soon be Mickeyless and then burst into a chorus consisting of half lamentation and half pleading him to come and make a Mickey out of their little corner of the land.

We'd like to, but we'd be fibbing worse than a Mayoral press release. Because the reaction to the news that the Ditch would, from next year, no longer have a Diva has been muted to the point of inaudibility.

David Farrar, who's displayed a confusingly ambivalent attitude towards Mickey in the past - given that Farrar and an associate once got into a spot of bother for issuing a press release claiming Laws had been assassinated and police were interviewing several thousand suspects - did announce the news on the excellent Kiwiblog.

Interestingly Farrar - who first encountered Laws back in the latter's National MP days - agrees with our cautious approach to celebration:

Laws Watch are not celebrating yet - they think it may be a feint. I have no reason to doubt it. Speaking as someone who personally quite strongly dislikes Laws, I don't think he was all bad for Wanganui. Small town Mayors often need to be a personality, and Laws did that. I suspect he would have been re-elected if he had stood, but am not aware of any polls which would indicate either way.

Since Kiwiblog has a larger and arguably less biased readership than does LawsWatch, we've left that post to percolate a few days and now bring you a hand-picked selection of the finest comments:

• Laws has a toxic personality who did not work well with others. He never has. I knew him 100 years ago at Parliament and he was odd then. He has softened since then but the basic irritating personality remains. If you cannot work with others in politics you will get nothing done. Michael seems not to grasp this point.



• Oh yes never forget the old Antoinette Beck 'signature fib' .... talk about gone by lunchtime ...themz where (sic) the days !!!



• I can't stand big egos, but Laws had some great policies which I would love to see other parties embrace. He held referendums to decide policy, and he also when the situation demanded it adopted a firm commonsence non P.C. position. We need more like him.



• I'll stick my hand up and say I like him as well.



• He is a dad then he is my friend too. Good luck to him whatever he does in the future.



• Like him or hate him, under the current political climate we need more people like Michael who are unafraid to publicly debate contentious issues.



• I don't think Michael Law's latest break from politics will last very long. Spending more time with the family? Yeah right!
  
  He'll be bored stiff.
  
  Like Tim Shadbolt he'll get "withdrawl symptoms" and scour the country searching from some provincial town to brighten up. Timaru? Upper Hutt? He may even go for the Auckland City mayoralty. Well why not? The media attention is almost unlimited, what with the transport problems and stadium fiasco. I'm sure Laws will be in his element having a go at the ARC and most of Auckland cheering him on.
  
  In the meantime here are a few suggestions for Laws to fill in those spare 60-hours or so a week, once he retires as Wanganui Mayor next year.
  
  He can get his own talk show on one of TVNZ's new digital channels. Perhaps a NZ version of "Jerry Springer". Or why not combine travel show with reality TV and let Laws holiday in Tonga where he'll be running for his life from a lot of very angry strapping Tongans who may well take offence at his "brown slug" tribute to their former king. Or he could team up with infomercial queen Suzanne Paul and use his considerable persuasive skills to hook us onto a new range of "non-run" mascara.
  
  Anyway I'm sure the possibilties are endless for Michael Laws and we'll be hearing more from him.



• I would never say that I always agreed with Laws but the NZ political scene will be far worse off without him.We need more like him, men who are not afraid to state an opinion and men who are not afraid to stand up to the sisterhood.
  
  I particularly liked his blunt and accurate comments earlier in the year about Cindy Kiro, nobody else (apart from perhaps John Banks) would have the guts to say what he said even when they are right.



• Laws is a failure in politics and I think Michael might just begin to appreciate that. In democratic politics you have to convince a majority of people to support you. This is something Michael can never seem to do. There is an art to getting people to support your case, flattery, pressure, incentives. Michael has one technique which is to say I am smarter than all of you, so support my case or I will jump up and down and insult you with my sharp tongue. How can a person like that succeed in politics and Michael simply does not of course. Clever, sharp brain, dumb politician.



• I was surprised to see him saying he would step down, he seemed to be the kind of guy who would slug it out to the bitter end.
  
  I think the "Laws Watch" people should get a life, these types of people like attacking politicians but they all have their own agendas and politics that they bring into it. I tend to be very suspicious of people like that setting up websites to peddle their little pet cause.
  
  Laws is an abrasive fellow and the value of his contribution to Wanganui can be questionable, like Banks and some of those other outspoken people who seem to make it from national to local politics these days.



• "I would never say that I always agreed with Laws but the NZ political scene will be far worse off without him.We need more like him, men who are not afraid to state an opinion and men who are not afraid to stand up to the sisterhood."
  
  There are lots of people around who can do that without being abrasive and deliberately offensive like Laws is. His comments for example about the King of Tonga are about as useful and in a way analogous to that idiot who set fire to his car outside the King's Auckland residence.



• One needs to make an important distinction between people who have strong opinions yet are able to work constructively with people and those that aren't. Laws does not have a constructive track record in politics at all, like Winston Peters.

Interesting that there's a common thread in those comments that are unsupportive of Mickey - that he's incapable of achieving anything meaningful because he's far too abrasive to work with others. Little wonder, then, that he attracts support on LawsWatch from people like this:

Anonymous said...
To anon at 8.35pm. Then you stand for office, you tosser. Scared? Laws has beaten everybody he's confronted these past 2 years.
9:58 PM, November 16, 2006

So the hallmark of a successful politician is that he "beats" people and makes opponents "scared"? Not that we've ever met anyone who's actually scared of Mickey - just those who approach a political battle with him as one would an excrement-hurling contest. With Mickey standing down we can only hope anon finds someplace to live where he or she will feel more at home. Sadly, the choices are narrowing as despots everywhere are being overthrown, but we're sure Kim Jong Il has room for someone who considers beating and scaring people to be positive attributes in their companions. If not, contact us and we'll refer you to a competent Dominatrix.

Coming back to our somewhat muted reaction to the "big announcment", it seems the same game is being played out in Christchurch, according to the goss at Molesworth & Featherston, who report that:

The rumble from the semi-South is that Christchurch Mayor Garry Moore is about to rescind his decision not to seek another term, and declare his hand as a candidate again. It is not clear exactly why ... it might be feels he was pushed into the decision in the first place, or more likely he is under pressure from the left who fear a centre right candidate (Bob Parker or George Balani again?) would be more attractive to the conservative instincts in the Garden City than Christchurch Central MP Tim Barnett if he wound up as the left’s first choice.

Refusing to stand for office only to be "reluctantly" dragged back to politics by your supporters is a ploy which goes all the way back to Pompey the Great in 71BC and has been used by hundreds of politicians since, so we won't be writing him out of the Mayoral ballot till nominations close.

Then again, gratuitous trouble is, as Jane Clifton accurately nailed in "Political Animals", Mickey's raison d'etre. How much more fun to sit at the Council table and make gratuitous trouble for your successor, for no other reason than to "prove" how much more effective it was to rule by diktat and intimidation than to try to reach genuine consensus.

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