Meet in the sandwich

Accepting the responsibilities that come with being an elected member, whilst simultaneously smearing the organisation to which you belong in the newspaper for cheap political points.

Lesson 1 in the Book of Politics According to Mickey, so little wonder that none other than our exalted representative on Horizons, Ms Leonie Brookhammer.

In an email to Chairman Garry Murfitt, Ms Brookhammer opined that Horizons was "extravagant" in providing lunch for Councillors (which was also shared amongst staff and even visitors) . Fair enough - perhaps (since we don't know whether we're talking pickled quails eggs or Scotch eggs it's a little hard to judge the level of alleged extravagance).

But in true Diva fashion, a copy of that email was cc'ed to the Chron, which ran the story on November 12 under the heading "No BYO lunches on the horizon". One can only speculate as to the Mayoress's intent in adding the Chron to her recipient list, but our money is on her hoping that just such a story would appear, causing embarrassment to fellow councillors, whom she clearly doesn't hold in high regard.

And we're not entirely sure what she thinks of some of her ratepayers, for many of whom, she said in the email lunch consisted of "two pieces of bread and an apple in a bag". What, no butter? Watchers were reminded of Monty Python's Four Yorkshiremen:

Man 1: "There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road".
Man 2: "Cardboard box?"
Man 1: "Aye."
Man 2: "You were lucky! We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out!"
...and so on.

As the warm-up act at yesterday's "town hall meeting" she elaborated on her view of Horizons. Apologising for having to read from notes because... well because of a fascinating new medical condition that deserves to be the subject of papers in the medical journals.

Watchers figured the real reason was that the Diva had written the notes and told her to read them. When he finally appeared for about half an hour into the meeting (it was supposed to have started at noon but of course he had to get there from the radio studio) he apparently gesticulated from the back of the room for her to cease and desist and she did.

Meanwhile, in what was a somewhat disjointed speech for one that was being read from notes, she'd run on the interesting proposition that ratepayers in Gonville or Aramoho shouldn't have to contribute to flood prevention measures up country because they probably wouldn't be affected. Presumably if her and Michael ever get to run the entire country, only those who like fish will have to pay for the patrol of our exclusion zone; vegetarians will be exempted from that portion of their taxes that pay for MAF; and those of us who'd quite like to be invaded and thus rescued from rule by Mickey won't have to pay a cent towards the NZ Defence Force.

We've highlighted the relevant bits of what follows, but if you can manage reading through the entire thing it'll give those of you who were absent an idea of what it was like to actually be there. Mind-numbingly dull, in other words.

I don't normally speak from notes. I had an eye operation recently. I've got a problem with my eyes which is affecting my concentration, so if I refer to my notes, I do apologise.

When I was elected I had already been employed there for six months and I had a fair idea of what was going on at Horizons, and that's one of the reasons why I had chosen to stand. So after six months as an employee on the senior management team and after a year as a councillor, I thought it was time for me to speak my mind as to what I could see with the regional council. If I don't speak up now I think I risk becoming an apologist for the regional council and I refuse to do that. The regional council does not control what I say, just because I'm a (inaudible) doesn't mean that I'm employed by the council and I am answerable to nobody but you the ratepayers, certainly not to the council so when this comes out and I'm (inaudible) by the council, I make no apology for what I'm going to say.

And my opinion after a year is that the regional council is a waste of your money. That it is a layer of local government we don't need. The cost of providing some of the essential regional services, which there are some, could I think be met more efficiently and more effectively through district council officers, current staff, and the level of service that you have here. More and more I feel that Horizons are an unnecessary expensive cost to the ratepayers. We are funding activities like pest control in some areas but not in others, which are paid for by the council. I do feel that Horizons has become an (inaudible) an urban subsidy to the rural community.

Recently at Horizons we unveiled the sustainable land use initiative, which we effectively arranged to try and preserve some of the land which we are using unsustainably. The cost to us of using this land in that way means that the planting of trees for instance and the harvesting of those trees leaves the land more prone to slip away. When it does slip it ends up in rivers which costs more in terms flood control etc. An example of what your rates money goes on. It was prepared for a farmer to help him environmentally and sustainably manage his land. Now because Horizons do not have any legislative powers to enforce the environmental initiative, they need to provide what they call a carrot to incentive the farmer to follow this plan. This plan here cost $10,000 and it's for one farmer.

Because this is a prototype it is estimated that the cost of other plans will be between $5,000-$10,000. This plan, and it is a public document so you're quite entitled to see it, is so in-depth that it could actually be taken to a bank as a business plan and used to raise a loan. Now this was done by land management officers working at Horizons and it's your, ratepayers' money. The argument from Horizons is that we've heard that our economy is based on the rural sector, the rural sector needs subsidies from the urban ratepayer to keep them solvent. I think that in a time of user-pays, we should be looking much more towards those farmers. If they cannot manage their land environmentally sustainably and economically themselves, then it is not for the urban ratepayer to continue subsidising (inaudible).

Speaking to Michael recently, we talked about the fact there was no subsidy for the service sector which is the biggest employer in New Zealand and many people here are paid $10 an hour and yet there is no subsidy for those employers or those employees. (likewise the manufacturing industry). So why urban ratepayers should keep paying a subsidy for farmers is not acceptable. The argument that if a farmer manages his land more effectively he sees less erosion, which translates to less environmental impact in streams and riverbeds, which means less flood damage and more flood protection.

How, if you're living in Gonville or Aramoho, you can actually justify that your rate dollar is spent on those things, I think you'd have to have a very big paradigm shift to say, well I live in Peaks Rd so therefore I pay towards this farmer managing his land sustainably. And that's the benefit to me. Urban ratepayers are paying for these plans. I think if it's very important for farmers to manage their land sustainably, then we need some legislation at national government level to enforce the RMA rather than offering incentives. I don't know how many ratepayers here would be happy that their money is going to subsidise farming, which is effectively what it is. One of other things that worried me a lot is Lower Manawatu scheme. Cost is millions and millions of dollars but user pays won't work so whole catchment is going to pay. Discussion going on that increasing flooding due to global warming and all have part to play in that so every ratepayer should have to contribute...

I've been told to wrap it up (signals from the Diva at back of room)

Now this all sounds like resounding good stuff on the surface, if a little vague in the delivery. That is, till you realise that "every man for himself, and let the women and children drown" isn't a recipe for a civil society.

And until you ask a few questions like when, exactly, has Horizons said "our economy is based on the rural sector, the rural sector needs subsidies from the urban ratepayer to keep them solvent" (or words to that effect)? And why - if we accept that farmers can do what they like with the land that they own, just as any urban ratepayer can litter their garden with plaster gnomes and plastic flamingos - is it inappropriate for a Council to work alongside them to ensure that our waterways are protected from harmful run-off and the land from unnecessary erosion?

Regional councils may well be an unnecessary layer of government, but how many people would want Mickey and the gang to be responsible for "fresh air, clean water, productive land and natural ecosystems" including "flood protection, soil conservation, pest control and environmental monitoring and protection" when they can't budget properly for civic amenities? We'd be paddling up Guyton Street in a gondola while the Diva harangued us from the roof about how this was always part of his plan to make Wanganui "the Venice of the Southern hemisphere".

And until you realise that the criticism leveled at this "useless" and "wasteful" Council comes from it's least hardworking councillor.

Our observation is that Ms Brookhammer attends only the minimum number of meetings needed to ensure she meets her statutory obligations and stays away from workshops designed to explore things like environmental matters. She often sends an apology at the last possible moment or just doesn't show up.

Most notably, she failed to turn up for a Horizons visit to Wellington Regional Council recently despite saying she'd be there, thus leaving a paid-for hotel room vacant. Well, at least there were probably more cheese sandwiches left to share at lunchtime amongst those recklessly profligate councillors who actually showed up.

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Ya gotta have heart

Back in February the council raided the budgets of the Sarjeant, Library and Museum to pay for a talkfest by five very eminent architects who not only talked, but then put pencil to paper and produced what the Diva calls a "series of options and ideas" for what to do with Queens Park.

Nine months after the act of conception, citizens are still waiting for a glimpse of the products of that mating of architects. But not to worry, this very day, the Diva has given birth to - an idea of his own.

Within a year it will join its less favoured siblings, the bastard children of a bunch of architects, in a people’s choice beauty contest. As always, the people will chose, the Diva cooed reassuringly.

So what does the blue-eyed offshoot of the Diva and his council working party look like, and what will cost? Oh, $13-15 million or thereabouts, apparently, and the Diva is sure that the government will come to the party, along with lotto money.

Even better, we could have a PPP (public private partnership) with a developer putting up the building of the Diva’s dreams and milking the ratepayers via a lease arrangement for as long as it takes.

So, here’s what the architects aren’t recommending:

1. Level the museum and put up a completely new building where the museum is that includes both the library and the museum, with carparking.
2. Link the Alexander Library to the Sarjeant with a corridor and call it the Sarjeant extension.
3. Use the current Davis Library for city archives.
4. Turn the Memorial Hall forecourt into a European-style piazza.
5. Either use the Memorial Hall for a new library or upgrade it as conference centre.
6. Redesign Majestic Square according to the Michael Laws school of city planning.

All this will come as little surprise, we are sure, to New Zealand’s five leading architects. Did they really think they had the talent or ideas to compete with the Diva’s dream?

Of course, by launching his own model into the public arena now, the Diva gives it a head-start of several months over the architect-designed options, since they're being kept under wraps till early next year. Think of it this way: What if the Chron ran a colouring contest, and Mickey and all the other little children entered. Then a few months before the contest closed, Mr Maslin took out his best crayons (the ones he keeps for writing editorials with) and made his own entry, which then ran on the front page of the Chron till the contest closed and people could judge the entries. Would little Mickey be upset? You bet he would.

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Insert erection joke here

Till now we've resisted giving credence to a rumour which keeps reaching the LawsWatch secret cave (nowhere near just behind the water tower). It changes slightly each time we hear it, but in essence it suggests that a scheme more grandiose than Watchers dare imagine has been fermenting in the mind of Wanganui's greatest ever Civic Leader.

A plan which will forever change the face of Wanganui and - purely as a fortunate side-effect, we're sure - become a monument to its creator.

Then this crosses our desk yesterday. An announcement from Guyton Street that:

The next phase of the Wanganui District Council’s ambitious ‘Heart of Wanganui’ project is set to commence, with three or four costed options to be presented in the New Year for public comment and input. Mayor Michael Laws will outline some of the options tomorrow (Monday 28 November) at his 'Town Hall meeting' in the refurbished Council Chambers at 12 noon. That includes one not considered by the team of architects – but discussed at the recent meeting of the council’s Heart Working Party...

"We are taking an integrated approach to upgrading and expanding the cultural facilities at Queen’s Park. It makes sense to consider the library, museum, art gallery, War Memorial Hall and forecourt as one entity, and to plan accordingly," said Mr Laws...

"This is the project to launch Wanganui into the twenty-first century. Handled right, it will assure Wanganui of provincial prominence."

That uncannily echoes the content of the rumour - that public buildings such as the Sarjeant and perhaps the library and the others mentioned are to be considered "under-performing assets" - thus to be sold, or abandoned, or demolished, or perhaps rented out to store the miles of left-over red carpet after the River Queen "premiere" is over.

And in their place will rise some sort of cut-price, built-on-the-cheap Wanganui version of the Bilboa Guggenheim, Sydney Opera House, or perhaps Franco's tomb?

Dictator Franco's mausoleum and burial site (pictured right) was built by around 20,000 war and political prisoners who were enslaved to produce this bizarre construction, carved deep into a rocky mountain. A massive stone cross set on the top of the site makes it visible from miles away.

Construction spanned between 1937, even before the 1936-39 Civil War ended, and the 1950s. The site covers 120 hectares amid the Guadarrama mountain range.

The giant monument consists of a basilica carved out of rock, a 262-metre crypt, an esplanade of 30,600 square metres and topping it all off a 150-metre high cross 46 metres wide. No (other) 20th-century dictator has a state-financed monument to him in a country calling itself democratic. Not Mussolini, nor Hitler, nor Lenin, Stalin.

A modern-day Franco might not have a ready supply of prisoners of war, but could perhaps tap into the rich supply of fast-food litterers, gangs, people who have the temerity to attend council meetings etc...

Needless to say, we hope Watchers will pack today's meeting. We'll bring you a report as soon as we can, but a good turn-out will ensure that the public's interest in such a projct is clearly demonstrated.

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Lights, red carpet ... no cash

LawsWatch yesterday wondered just when the Diva and Deputy Dotty were going to come clean with the punters over the River Queen cash cock-up. Watchers didn’t have to wait long.

All was revealed when an angry mob in the form of Mainstreet’s Ritichie Minnell descended on the community meeting yesterday to protest at the high-handed and just plain stupid plans that were being developed to close off the Embassy block for over 12 hours on the day the red carpet is rolled out for the Mayor, Mayoress and sundry other VIPs.

The Diva was wisely absent so a bout of questioning from councillors meant the bad news had to be delivered by Dotty, who once upon a time was talking about a $1 million extravaganza to launch the flick that a leading American critic has called a waterlogged would-be epic. Despite lots of secret huddles over the last couple of months the ratepayers haven’t yet been told they’re up for any more than the $150,000 allocated when the sorry saga started got its first dose of reality.

Dotty fessed up and said the road closure plans were being dropped on an unsuspecting retail community because:

little consultation had been done because Verve* had yet to fully engage in the work. Verve have begun initial discussions, but we haven’t actually signed a contract with them because we are waiting to get funding.

* the high-priced Wellington movie spin doctors

To paraphrase Variety magazine’s River Dog review, Dotty’s explanation was lacking the emotion, narrative invention and visual brilliance that mark the Diva’s best spin.

So, just how deep is the financial doggy doos that Dotty now finds herself in? Well, no one seems to have talked about that, presumably because they’ve been caught by confidentiality rules applying to "commercially sensitive" discussions at previous committee meetings. But less than two months ago the Chron told us Dotty was "optimistic" that sponsors would come to the party with over half of a targeted $400,000 party fund. She has announced just one $30,000 donation since that heady moment.

According to the Watchers' special spin calculator that, plus $150,000 committed by the council, leaves a shortfall of $220,000 smackaroos. But not to worry, back in September Dotty told the Chron:

We are hoping for $400,000 but if we can’t we’ll tailor the event to what we’ve got.

Alert Watchers detect the muffled off-stage sounds of a flurry of spin being prepared to soften up the ratepayers for an even bigger cash splash, and dare we suggest a call to Dotty’s dressmaker ordering up a sexy little premiere number of sackcloth and ashes for the stroll down the red carpet.

Update (Saturday 7.30 am): When the cat was away on Thursday Dotty was quoted as saying: "Verve have begun initial discussions, but we haven’t actually signed a contract with them because we are waiting to get funding." Then the cat came back and she's quoted in today's Chron saying: "I never said that." The Chron continues "She said there were other reasons a contract was yet to be signed but would not comment further." No apology or retraction from the Chron, no "we stand by our reporter" (Sean). Nothing really.

Earlier update (Friday 2.15 pm): As this appears to be yet another Wanganui project that's going to have to, in the Diva's words, "cut it's cloth" to suit inadequate funding, Watchers might like to suggest how Council could "tailor the event to what we've got". A couple of red carpet tiles, perhaps... the Diva and the rest of the glitterati could huddle together on one whilst the other was thrown at their feet by adoring ratepayers, then the tile they'd step off of could be brought round to the front, and so on. Slow progress, but then that seems to be the hallmark of all the Diva's promises.

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Nothing compares to U (turns)

Wondering why Gerald McDouall (chair) and Melinda Cade (CEO) of the Cooks Garden's Trust Board stayed behind after the public were kicked out at Tuesday's meeting, and just what Cooks events crisis was on the agenda?

Thanks to a search of the wastepaper bin in Committee Room 2, LawsWatch can reveal that they were helping rewrite one of that old rocker Jimmy Barnes' songs for the Boxing Day bash.

AIN'T NO DEBT MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH
No matter how broke you are
No matter how far, how high the bar
Just call my name (it's Michael)
I'll get some cash in a hurry
You don't have to worry
'Cause baby,
There ain't no debt mountain high enough
Ain't no u-turn that's low enough
Ain't no spin fairy wide enough
To keep me from getting my pool

While Wanganui's credit rating burns, the Diva is determined to fiddle... and strum... and play the tambourine if that helps takes people's minds off the way things are. And if you can get Jimmy Barnes to accompany you, so much the better.

Just what did actually go on during the secret discussions with the Cooks board can't be divulged, as they were deemed "commercially sensitive". All we can tell you is that they were held under the heading "events". Meanwhile, Wanganui was notable by its absence from the national advertising of Barnes' summer tour itinerary.

We're purely guessing here, but if ticket sales weren't all they were predicted to be, a promoter might be tempted to leave the venue off the list just in case, and might say to someone - the local promoter, say, or perhaps the venue - that if they wanted the performance to go ahead, they'd need to provide some sort of guarantee; an underwriting, in other words.

And garralous over-excitable giggler Deputy Dot McKinnon is awfully quiet on one topic at least - finding the money to fund the River Queen extravaganza. An early softening up of ratepayers for more bad news can be found in the current Mayoral e-column, in which the Diva, torn tissue in hand, laments that:

It would be fair to say that I'm a little disappointed that the wider commercial community has not taken the best advantage of this national event – by getting involved in sponsorship and the like.

Oh, so when this goes pear-shaped, it'll be the community's fault. The commercial community no less - the ones who got hit with anything but a nil rates rise and so are already involuntarily contributing more than ever to the Diva's Romanesque fiddle concerto. And they were asked in advance if they'd be willing to fund Dotty's big moment on the red carpet when, exactly?

The poor Spin Fairy must be sweating over that incessantly flashing cursor, trying to come up with a palatable way of enthusing the long suffering ratepayers about coming up with more cash than the $150,000 "limit".

That was imposed back in September when Dotty promised that:

"Shortly, posters and hoardings will be going up around the city promoting the movie. As people enter Wanganui, they'll be greeted with signs saying 'You are now entering River Queen country'. It's very exciting."

If we're going to talk signage, might LawsWatch recommend a large "No U turn" be added to the portraiture gracing the Council chamber?

It would be too late to prevent the U turn on the pledge (recorded in the Council's minutes for 26 April 2005) that "funding of referendum items would be based on the conversion of old Council assets to the new Council assets, therefore, for a referendum project to proceed the Council must first sell an asset to gain the funding required" since the Finance and Administration Committee has voted to dig a $2.5 million debt hole and throw Wanganui ratepayers into it. Hopefully it'll rain, then they can put up a sign saying "Splash Centre Extension". But it might just stop long-suffering ratepayers being forced over the $150,000 limit they had no say in imposing in the first place.

So has anyone reached into their pocket for a marquee and a portaloo at the River Queen premiere? Gushes the Diva, tissue by now thoroughly soaked:

I was humbled by the Rangitikei District Council's support of $5,000 towards organising the RQ premiere. Our grateful thanks to Bob Buchanan and his team.

Yes, none other than the Diva's new best friend, Rangitikei Mayor Bob "The Basher" Buchanan, has - quite literally - decided to come to the party. We're sure he's busy organising buses for his ratepayers, since he surely wouldn't spend their money just so he and a few handpicked cronies could put on their best frocks. Watchers will recall the Diva used Bob as the cheap-option guest speaker at the retreat (from which all those councillors retreated).

The Diva/Bob mutual admiration society is a fascinating U turn in itself, considering the Diva was mocking his Rangitikei counterpart not so long ago - and, for once, with good reason. More on Bob the Basher tomorrow. (Note: Now postponed to early next week due to breaking news - see above)

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A clucking mess

diVision’s chickens continue to come home to roost, and they’re showing signs of carrying the H5N1 bird flu virus.

Just before they got to vote on the mayor’s borrow-and-sell plan for the Splash Centre yesterday, councillors found themselves "noting" some pretty scary info in a wee item called Debt Servicing.

In it, the new money guy Julian Harkness sounds the alarm about growing debt servicing costs and warns that by 2008/09 interest costs will be up by anything from $0.6 million to $1.6 million on top of the annual charge of $2.9million.

He had the foresight to factor in $2.5 million in new borrowing for the swimming pool, even though it hadn’t even been passed at committee stage, and under the intriguing heading "What we may not have included" he tossed in $3.5 million for Heart of Wanganui.

Commenters have noted that around $3 million worth of City freehold properties have been tagged for sale and concluded that "the money's there". Well yes it is (assuming the properties sell for at or above valuation) - all three million of it. One whole year's annual debt paid at current levels and before the additional borrowing toward which the Diva is determinedly herding the diVision chickens.

And then what? Harkness, who obviously hasn’t yet been received his allocation of the diVision anti-reality anti-viral, lists the stark options as:

• Reduced level of services
• Increase user fees
• Rates increase
• Sell even more assets

The item was tagged, as just about everything is, as being "not significant in terms of policy". Dotty may well have found that just the funniest thing since Professor Phard of Saudi Arabia died, but her new found girl pals Barb and Sue got all serious and pointed out that it was really bloody significant, whichever way you look at it.

And Sue even had the temerity to suggest that that thing called "the public" might find it a bit strange that the scary story about the debt mountain wasn’t significant, yet in the next period the class would be putting up their hands on the Diva’s splash centre borrowing plan.

That made the Diva throw a hissy fit and even Dotty managed to suppress her giggles and simper her seconding of the mayoral motion as he ruled her former girl pals out of order and pulled the plug on discussion of the whole debt servicing mess. "They are not for discussion now, they are not for discussion next month, they are not for discussion next year …" he growled.

Wise leadership from the Diva again. While the chickens coming home to roost may be susceptible to the dreaded avian flu, there's been no mention so far of the disease hitting that magnificent bird, the ostrich. So when faced with talk of rising debt, what better example to follow?

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Dubious doorstop

Did Lawswatch read the Mitchell Report? I don't think so. 7:31 PM, November 21, 2005

Yes we did. At least as well as anyone who's waded through this thick tome looking for answers, which is to say that though our eyes glazed over and our jaws went slack, we have indeed read the report. A photo of our copy adorns this post, in fact.

Why not get the Mitchell Report posted so we can all see? Not edited highlights but the whole thing? 8:03 AM, November 22, 2005

I was wondering if you could print the entire Mitchell Report which other posters are going on about. That was an independent audit so maybe that would settle a few things? 7:56 PM, November 21, 2005

We would, anonymii, but can't. For one thing we have only a hard-copy version and while kind Watchers have assisted with tasks such as typing up Dotty's RCP rantings, asking them to transcribe this magnum opus would cause the kind of uprising previously seen only in the Chron newsroom. We suspect we know why Wanganui's forestry holdings have had such a dramatic decrease in value - they had to woodchip half the plantation to make the paper for this report. The Mitchell Report is so thick that had it been available then the Diva could have used it to stand on, instead of the pile of Chrons, when he was posing as resident madman for the Herald on Sunday lensman back in February.
We haven't been able to get an electronic copy from either Council or Larry Mitchell's website, though it carries a lot of other reports he's prepared, as well as some interesting background on Mitchell himself.

While we're not sure how long the report is - it's not numbered in sequential fashion but rather in sections but it must be well over 100 pages, and is more than an inch thick - about half that appendices.

Appendix 1, for instance, comprises four clippings from the Chron, all largely based on the Diva's rants and headed things like "We're living beyond our means, says Mayor", "Council will investigate forestry accounting error", and "Council finance probe". There's even a copy of the Diva's RCP column of 24 March.

It even includes PR direct from the Spin Fairy about referendumbs - hardly immediately germane to the question of forestry assets, finances, or anything else to which the report was meant to relate. And if that's not evidence enough of a hearty draught of Diva Devotion Potion having been quaffed before the report was authored, the Powerpoint presentation Mitchell put together includes the formal council pic and is headed (by Mitchell) "Inspired Leadership to serve the best interests of the Wanganui District". Excuse us? Is this an independent audit or a party political broadcast on behalf of the Vision party?

We suggest interested Watchers heads down to Guyton St and ask for their own copy (be sure to bring a wheelbarrow to carry it home).

So who is Larry Mitchell? As devotees of the first Leisure Suit Larry games, some Watchers couldn't help making that association when Mitchell made his appearance. He's a failed mayoral candidate and, it seems, well known stirrer in Puhoi.

The local newspaper there, the Village Press, provides this insight:

Your email gives Larry Mitchell credit for the "Survey" and he is a Mayoral candidate. Puhoi Forum should not be promoting, or be seen as promoting, his candidacy. This survey should not go out until all members of the committee have actually approved it in full.

And this editorial:

Is it my imagination, but is the newspaper "Letters to the Editor" attack on Mayor John Law by Larry Mitchell the beginning of a campaign for coming Rodney Council elections? Puhoi Community Forum chair, Richard Walters, is clearly unhappy with Larry Mitchell's statements calling for an apology. Cr Elizabeth Foster has made it clear that the basis of the 'attack' on Mayor John Law was inaccurate.

Are we again going to see "Letters to the Editor" character assignation (sic) – often with imaginary named "authors"?

Letters to the Editor with imaginary authors? A modus operandi that sounds vaguely familiar to some Watchers...

And in view of the way he banged on about the Big Bad Debt Bogey it would be interesting to hear what Mitchell thinks about the council going further into hock to help fund swimming pools etc.

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Posterity protected

Over on Council Watch, the full text of Dotty's recent outburst in the River City Press, which the WDC censor seems to have found unsuitable for the Council's website. Never mind, Dotty, we've made sure that future generations of Googlers will be able to reference your somewhat unique view of life round the Council table.

Can't see the forest for the trees

Whenever the issue of Council finances (and, by extension, Wanganui's finances) arise, reference is inevitably made to the forestry investments, how it seems they're not going to realise an instant cash bonanza, and how the how Diva-led Council have "exposed" this startling fact for the first time. As one anonymous commenter remarked:

On the forestry estimates, it's important to remember that the WDC went and got a special dividend from Wanganui Gas in 2004 to cover the shortfall in their forestry dividends that year. They didn't tell Wanganui that they had advice in March 2004 (according to the Mitchell Report) that there would be NO dividends that year, the two after that and that the $18m of estimated future revenue was now worth $4m. That's a lie that they were eventually caught out on and they should swing.

Several other anonymii have noted that Council minutes prove the above commenter, and others who accuse past Councils of a cover-up, wrong. From the 2004-5 annual plan:

Other revenue is lower than anticipated due to income from forestry. The LTCCP 2003-2013 had provision for forestry revenue of $1,700,000. This revenue is not now expected in this year due to the market conditions that surround the forestry industry.

That seems a pretty clear admission that revenue from forestry wasn't going to meet expectations.

Then there's the Minutes of an Extraordinary Meeting of the Wanganui District Council held immediately following the Meeting of the Strategy Committee on Thursday, 26 June 2003:

His Worship Mayor Poynter said that the Council's long term debt would be determined by returns from Forestry.

So there’s Chas, in 2003, clearly not attempting to quantify those returns or paint a prettier picture than reality suggested.

Further reading shows, from the June 2001 minutes:

Mr Foster, Finance and Information Groups Manager, said he was not sure that the Council would in fact reach a $37 million debt level. He explained that the debt programme would be beneficially affected by forestry harvesting and even if debt levels did reach $37 million they would be significantly reduced within two to three years of reaching that level. He did not believe a 'knee-jerk reaction' to a possible debt peak was appropriate. Mr Foster said due to forestry's impact he thought the debt level would reach only $30 million for two to three years.

Some Councillors queried the appropriateness of relying on forestry to reduce debt levels. It was thought unlikely that a ready buyer would be available even if the forest holdings were put up for sale now. However, it was noted that the Council was always open to considering offers. In discussion, it was suggested that the Council should accept the principle not to borrow when it had under-performing assets to sell. It was put forward that it be noted in the Annual Plan that the Council was always prepared to consider offers for its assets, including forestry.

This exchange, with the benefit of hindsight, does Dave Foster no favours. However, it shows, as do other minutes on Council’s website, that there has been ongoing and open debate on Council’s forestry asset, quite the contrary to the impression that our anonymous commenter, not to mention the Mayor, have been trying to create.

While Council was openly debating the likely worth of forestry assets in 2003, the NZ forestry industry website was being quite explicit, in an item headlined "Gloomy Outlook For New Year", dated 22nd December 2003:

Shipping costs and a rising New Zealand dollar are indicating a gloomy outlook for forestry exports in the short to medium term according to the latest report from the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry. The report says the average price of logs fell by five percent in New Zealand dollar terms in the March 2003 year although prices in terms of US currency rose by 13 percent...

The log export sector is in the middle of a harsh market downturn and a number of New Zealand sawmills are in difficulties. In the case of both logs and lumber market difficulties have been made worse by the high New Zealand dollar, high energy prices and rising shipping costs. The report, which looks forward through to 2007, says that restructuring and reasonable market demand should see the situation improve through the middle of the outlook period...

Since ordinary citizens rarely follow Council debate in any detail - and we have the Diva (and LawsWatch) to thank for that changing of late - it's understandable why people were taken aback by the "shock, horror, probe" "revelation" of poorly performing forestry assests post-election. But not nearly as explicable is the supposed ignorance of a radio talkback host, newspaper columnist and wannabe mayor like the Diva.

It's a favourite gambit of incoming administrations anywhere in the world to make unaffordable promises and then express horror at the supposed "unknown" level of debt they find on coming into office. This Council is no different - "A horror inheritance" screamed the press release as early as November 2004, dutifully picked up by the Chron under the equally alarmist headline "Council forestry blow-out revealed", quoting the Mayor at length and making not even the most perfunctory attempt to examine the issue independently. But then what's new?

We note that the $4 million estimated asset value was from 2004 (At this time we have unable to find out exactly how much Council invested to create this $4 million asset for Wanganui). Monkeys throwing darts do better at predicting market fluctuations than economists, so investing in forestry was always going to be a risky business. But it seems the risks - and the gloomy predictions - were well known at least as far back as 2001 and the effects of market downturns on Council's assets was being openly questioned by Councillors.

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And the winners are...

While humble electors still have to wait right through the silly season before choosing who they want to replace GK Taylor - thus allowing the full quota of bread, circuses, smoke and mirrors to be delivered by the Diva - Wanganui Inc have wasted no time in appointing his replacement to that body.

That choice was up to the remaining members - none other than the Diva, Ron Janes (the chairman), Nygllhuw Morris, Bruce Nicholson and Rangi Wills.

They've picked Lesley Jones, described as a marketing director, and intend to seek Council's permission to appoint tourism promoter Niko Tangaroa as an alternate director.

Meanwhile, Wanganui Holdings have decided to appoint from within to replace outgoing chair David Warburton - shifting sideways to the CEO's seat at Council - choosing existing board member Matthew Doyle to chair the company. He's an accountant. He in turn will be replaced by a new appointee Michael Eden – the supreme winner of the 2005 Wanganui business awards and founder of the GDM Group.

Other board members are Matt Edmond, Harvey Green and, staggeringly, Dot McKinnon.

The nominations will be considered by the Finance and Administration committee on Tuesday and are expected to be formally ratified.

We'll leave it Watchers to add their thoughts and comments on the latest appointees - bearing in mind comments are moderated, and we're interested in opinions on their appointments to these positions, not extraneous matters of any sort.

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We hope Wanganui is well endowed

Fascinating as all the to-ing and fro-ing in comments to the last post are, none answer the question: What assets? Our Deep Throat commenter from the mayoral dunny has been uncharacteristically reticent on this topic and we got tired of waiting, so dispatched a Watcher to obtain a copy of Wanganui District Holdings report to next Tuesday's administration and finance committee meeting.

The agenda helps answer the $2.5 million question of just what is going on with the asset sales that were supposed to to be delivering bucketfuls of cash by now for the Splash Centre.

As one of the anonymii pointed out this morning, moves by the Diva to borrow the dollars promised to the Splash Centre crew, and for the waterfront development, mark a remarkable turnaround from what he was saying just six months ago:

Mayor Laws... said that funding of referendum items would be based on the conversion of old Council assets to the new Council assets, therefore, for a referendum project to proceed the Council must first sell an asset to gain the funding required. (WDC Meeting minutes 26 April 2005)

The report of Wanganui District Holdings suggests the unseemly pressure coming from the Diva of Indebtedness sits uncomfortably with its business plan which sets a primary objective of "maximising the monetary returns on assets over the medium to long term". In fact, the WDH board recommends that that the council endorses this laudable aim.

It then goes on to say, however:

While recognising there is a cashflow-driven shorter term programme to divest property deemed surplus to council's operating requirements, the holding company's over-riding driver remains to maximise returns over the medium to long term.

Seems to be an implication there that one thing - the short-term, populist-driven divestment programme - isn't wholly compatible with the other - maximising returns.

Meanwhile, there's no escaping the Diva's demands for instant gratification and the report goes on to explain what's happening with the Great Land Sale, excerpted here:

There are 48 properties listed for sale, across three portfolios and divestment funds may only be used as follows:

• City Freehold: pay off debt or reinvest in assets or services offering greater amenity value to the District.
• City Endowment Fund: all capital (divestment proceeds) must remain withCitye Ciity Endowment Fund and net income can be 'dividended' to Council or reinvested.
• Harbour Endowment; all capital (divestment proceeds) must remain within the Harbour Endowment. Net rental income is payable (effectively a negative rent) to River City Port Ltd under the terms of the company's lease from Council (as administrator of the Harbour Endowment) to be used for port operations.

So far only three properties have been sold for a total of $155,000 - in Heads Rd, Mosston Rd and Poslon St. One is city endowment, one city freehold and one harbour endowment.

Ten city endowment properties have been approved for sale by the Office of Treaty Settlements (so one commenter's assertion that the Treaty of Waitangi has no impact on Council land, only Crown land, goes up in smoke (and mirrors)) and seven of those seem to have buyers waiting. Nineteen harbour endowment properties are listed for sale but are "on hold pending a review of harbour operations". City freehold sites marked for sale need to be re-zoned in order to maximize sale returns.

Subdivisional potential has been identified for a portion of Windsor Park (excluding the Durie Hill Bowling Club), a portion of Hylton Park and Montgomery Reserve - and an external consultant has been asked for a report on these, due early in the new year.

Westbourne Estate industrial land at Castlecliff has conditional agreements for about 12 hectares, netting about $800,000 after fees and service provision.

Even with all this information, many questions still remain:

• Can the Council, as one commenter has suggested, simply deem any project it wishes part of the endowment thus allowing it to spend the capital received from the sale of city endowment property on something like the Splash Centre?
• How much are the sales of all the properties so far identified likely to raise, and will they meet the entire burden of any loan(s) taken out to deliver on referendumb projects? If not, what's the contingency plan?
• What is the iwi's view on these sales? Have they even been consulted? (We've invited them to comment on this).
• While people undoubtedly voted for money to be spent on the Splash Centre and Riverfront development ahead of other options, all the options offered were for new projects. We're willing to bet that most people thus assumed that Council could afford to meet it's usual and legal obligations and fund whatever top two or three projects were chosen. But would responsible citizens want money spent on anything new when Council seems unable to meet such basic legal requirements as OSH standards, potentially exposing it to unknown levels of liability?

Note I: We've held over a post planned for today on forestry issues. Watch for that early next week.
Note II: Short of entertainment this weekend? Pop across to Rotorua and put a glass to the wall at the NZ First AGM and "Annual Conference".

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Don't step on that grating, Michael

A chilly zephyr of fiscal reality is starting to tickle the delicate ankles of Council, and is about to become a full-blown cold wind up its skirts, it seems. We have it on no less of an authority than the Diva himself that yes, Wanganui is to borrow to fund the Splash and Riverfront development. In his latest column, he reveals:

I have suggested borrowing the money now so as to complete the projects. Then to repay both the principal and interest from the ongoing sale of the assets identified... Those proposals go before Council's finance & expenditure committee next week and I expect them to be passed, the capital raised, and the projects to commence early in the New Year.

What assets, Michael?

What was made clear - both in the lead-up to the referendum and in the2005/06 Annual Plan deliberations - was that the sale of surplus or under-performing assets (primarily, land) would go to fund the capital projects. That process is currently occurring.

Yes... so... just what assets? No? Will these sales meet the estimated $4 million shortfall for the Splash centre, let alone the Riverfront? Where's the $6 million to bring the Sarjeant up to a minimum acceptable standard (not improve or extend it) coming from? Hello? We feel another LGOIM Act request coming on. Meanwhile...

With inflation increasing and building inflation escalating by as much as 20% a year, it is actually possible we will save the ratepayer by completing the projects now, rather than in two years time.

It's possible you'll save money? It's also possible LawsWatch will win Lotto on Saturday, but we're not committing to the $4 million extension on the cave till we actually know for sure.

...the needs and expectations of the community are that these projects should be concluded as soon as possible. And I agree with that sentiment. They should. We voted an additional $120,000 for footpath renewal and repair in the 2005/6 Annual Plan, but the Splash and riverfront developments require greater investment.

Exponentially greater, yes. Thirty-four times greater just for the Splash Centre. We don't know if anyone can be said to actually need a bigger swimming pool, but the community's expectation that it will happen is certainly high; made that way by a referendumb that offered a choice of baubles - from bigger pools to bigger galleries - without discussing how any of it might be paid for.

We await with interest the spin to explain just how "borrow and hope" is a more responsible financial management strategy than "spend and hope" (that forestry investments will pay off). And more on that later.

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Hanging the Mayor

There's been a bit of confusion over the provenance of the Mayoral portrait Gallery now gracing Council, so we thought we'd set the record straight and at the same time look at an interesting piece of Wanganui history which resonates down the ages to the present day.
Our understanding is that none of the Mayoral portraits were hanging in the chamber, or anywhere for that matter, till the Diva had them all printed up and framed and put there early this year. This is confirmed by Council's 4 April Minutes which state that:

This year the Chamber has been enhanced with the installation of 25 portraits of former Wanganui Mayors and the Peter McIntyre painting 'Wanganui. Mayor Laws also proposes that funding be provided for the commissioning of an artwork to tell the story of Wanganui, within the Council Chamber, and that funding be provided for the commissioning of a carved Maori entranceway to the entrance of the Chamber.

The addition of the sitting Mayor was a more recent event. The work apparently was done by the museum and a councillor (Watchers cannot recall which one) once asked how much it cost. The answer was that "it had been done by the museum". Said councillor then pointed out that there would be an internal cost, but the matter was never heard of again. But the same Minutes do provide some information on the cost of other alterations to the building:

• $40,300 for enlarging Committee Room 2 improving access by removing the wall between it and the adjoining office. Some additional work for sound proofing, lighting and new carpeting.
• $33,700 for further developing the Council Chamber "as a formal and official reception facility available for civic functions" and, intriguigly, to remove "raised floor and benches and the media booth to be developed as a servery". We can't wait to see Sean Hoskins in a pinny, serving the sausage rolls. At last, a worthwhile function for Chron staff attending Council meetings, since reporting what actually goes on doesn't seem to be on their agenda.

Those Watchers who know the story of one former member of the great and the good gracing the Council's walls, one Charles Mackay, were delighted to see him in the line up. Many a joke is made in the bleachers at council meetings about what a wonderful precedent it is that at least one mayor has already been sent away for a bit of hard labour.

Mackay was young, having been elected to the Wanganui Borough Council aged 30, and to the Mayoralty a year later. He was also regarded as clever, having gained a BA at the age of 19 and an LLB six years later. And he had a bit of a problem with a few members of the local artistic fraternity, one of whom (a young poet by the name of D'Arcy Cresswell) he shot:

It was then that Mackay invited Cresswell to visit the Sarjeant Art Gallery privately with him on the Friday. As a founder of the gallery, Mackay had his own key, and inevitably they must have spent time at the gallery's pride and joy, its marble reproduction of the ancient Greek nude "Wrestlers". Mackay took Cresswell back to his office, and showed him his collection of (female) nude photographs.

What exactly happened then is shrouded in Cresswell's self-serving account (signed by Mackay), but Cresswell demanded that Mackay resign as Mayor, or else be exposed as a "pervert"... At half past nine on the Saturday morning, in Mackay's office, Cresswell gave Mackay a week. Mackay pleaded for hours, threatened suicide, begged Cresswell to spare his family. Cresswell forced him to write a confession, then, after further bargaining, a letter of resignation to be held in safe keeping for a month. They turned to leave. "This is for you!" shouted Mackay, and shot Cresswell in the chest. Then he put the revolver in Cresswell's hand to give the appearance of suicide.

While we haven't seen the Diva waving any artillery around, there are other fascinating parallels with the present. Yes, even airborne furniture:

As he was leaving, the "dying" man rose and pointed the revolver at him. Mackay slammed a door between them. Cresswell could not open it, so he flung a chair through the window and called for help.

Mackay claimed the revolver had fired accidentally when he was showing it to Cresswell, but the chair through the window meant even the local police could see through that story.
Mackay eventually pleaded guilty to attempted murder and was sentenced to 15 years hard labour. He served seven, during which he was declared bankrupt and divorced by his wife. Wanganui's Mackay Street was promptly renamed Jellicoe Street, and his name was removed from the Sarjeant Gallery's foundation stone. (It was replaced in 1985). And still the eerie coincidences continue. Mackay had a problem with the local newspaper, it seems:

[During the trial, Mackay's] lawyers said he had sought treatment from doctors and "metaphysicians" (presumably clergymen) for "homosexual monomania". As well as Cresswell's harassment, Mackay had seen his lawyer the day before the shooting about an item in a local newspaper that "threatened him with exposure".

And as if that's not weird enough, what did the disgraced Mackay do when he was released? Went to England and became a journalist.

The Wrestlers are still there in the Sarjeant. The story was the basis of a book by Maurice Gee published last year, The Scornful Moon. Though it was reworked and set in Wellington many of the characters are recognisable including a woman painter based on Edith Collier, whose collection is held by the Sarjeant and who has a permanent bay there dedicated to her works. The possibility of the Collier family pulling the collection out of the Sarejant amid the Mad Mayor's ravings and threats strikes terror into the hearts of those who worry about the city's reputation as an arts centre.

So while one Mayor of Wanganui shoots someone over the works at the Sarjeant, his successor 85 years later shoots his mouth off on the same topic. Spooky, possums, as Dame Edna would say.

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Not Bloody Rigorous

The National Business Review must have been subjected to some Diva Devotion Potion while they were here. "A nil rates rise", they proclaim, forgetting to mention the rates increase for businesses. "Referenda" they cheer, pom-poms flailing, ignoring the funding shortfalls which effectively make the referendum little more than a "close your eyes and make three wishes" exercise.

In fact, for a Business Review they don't ask many business-like questions, such as "where's the money coming from, Michael?", or "Why are you advocating borrowing for capital projects when Wanganui is already uncomfortably close to its debt limit, Michael?"

Perhaps, as they stumbled from a long lunch, they were grateful to receive a little note from Helen; "Here's your editorial," she might have told them. "Just pad it out a little and you can take the afternoon off. Kowhai Park is lovely at this time of year."

NBR has long been the entertainment arm of the Business Round Table. So we wonder why editor Nevil Gibson and the crew suddenly decided that borrowing is okay when none other than the Governor of the Reserve Bank says it's silly in their own pages. And why a Mayor who sees one of the key issues facing Wanganui as "Council intervention – what happens when the market fails" (in his address to the recent Retreat) is suddenly in tune with their thinking. And why business should shoulder increased operating costs, in the form of rates, to pay for a populist popularity campaign.

Clearly, the smoke and mirrors worked overtime during NBR's fleeting visit, and they obviously had the desired effect. NBR left Wanganui having investigated nothing, arms loaded with press statements (carefully pruned of anything with which they'd be likely to disagree) and without speaking to anyone opposed to the Diva (or if they did, singularly failing to report such conversations, or indeed the existence of any rational opposition at all).

While Council, and the mayor in particular, are crying poor when it comes to staff health and safety issues at the Sarjeant Gallery, it seems borrowing is writ large on the agenda for other projects, especially the gold-plated swimming pool. And why, Nevil, didn't you ask just how this mayor defines a nil rates rise, and why businesses have been hit with anything but a nil rates rise.

While ducking their responsibilities for the release of information - more about that later - the new flavour of the month for Wanganui District Council seems to be the old saw: "Don't hate the media, become the media".

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A cautionary tale

One evening, just as the sun was setting, Old Father Time called to Dotty and the other little Visionite children. "It's time for a story," he said.

"Oh, will it be one with a moral, like all the stories you tell us?" asked Dotty excitedly.

"Indeed it will," said Time. And here is what he said...

"Once upon a time there was a man called Neil Kirton. Widely thought to be quite clever, he had a first-class honours degree in science from Otago University and a successful career in the health sector. He was business and contracts manager with Health Care Waikato, had been general manager of Princess Alexandra Hospital in Napier and was divisional manager of the Rehabilitation League in Hawke's Bay. He was even a former advisory officer with the Ministry of Agriculture, and was previously director of the Eastern and Central Trustbank Community Trust.

"He wasn't particularly exciting - nondescript was what people called him, when they thought of him at all - but he was competent.

"Then one day he met a man called Mickey. So enamoured of Mickey did he become that he even led Mickey's 1993 campaign to be re-elected to the Palace of Fools - a special place where much gets said but little gets done.

"Like Guyton Street?" interrupted Dotty, sucking her thumb.

"Exactly like Guyton Street, only there was a greater ratio of IQ points amongst the inhabitants of the Palace of Fools," sighed Old Father Time, looking despairingly at Rangi, who was staring cross-eyeed at the end of his nose again.

"Anyway, when it came time for Mickey to plot his coup, he decided to reward Neil's loyalty. So, out of nowhere, Neil went from candidate, to MP, to minister outside Cabinet even though no one had ever heard of him or any of Mickey's other minions like Deborah Morris and Robyn McDonald."

"Who?" asked Dotty, looking confused (but then she usually does).

"Exactly," said Old Father Time, somewhat cryptically, and then continued. "Many thought young Neil had a shining future under Mickey's guidance."

"Just like us!!" squealed Dotty excitedly, before blushing and hurriedly excusing herself.

"Neil was the Associate Health Minister, and doing very well for himself. But Mickey had convinced him that he needed to be nearby to tell Neil what to do and say. Trouble was, Mickey's membership of the Palace of Fools had been revoked for telling fibs, so do you know what he did, children?"

"He offered them a dishwasher if they'd let him back in?" posited Muzza, the dim boy who was always exploring his nose.

"No, Mickey got Neil to take some of the money they'd collected from the peasants and pay him $1000 a day to whisper in Neil's ear," Time related.

"Ooooo," squealed Dotty, just back from whereever it was she'd had to rush, quickly crossing her legs, "wasn't Neil such a lucky boy! Having Mickey there all day every day, telling him what to do! We don't get that," she pouted. "So did Neil get more and more and more powerful? Is he King of the Palace of Fools now or something?"

"Alas no," replied Time. "Alas for him, anyway. For the rest of us it was a narrow escape. No, within a year Neil had gone from shooting star to black hole. He'd lost his Ministerial office, was a backbench MP, and at the next election he disappeared altogether. Some say he was expelled from the Palace of Fools forever, and forced to work for a living!"

At this, the assembled Visionite children gasped in unison - a sound much like several of Muzza's vaccuum cleaners bursting into life simultaneously.

"But... why?" asked Dotty, shocked. "With Mickey telling him exactly what to do and say, he would have been the biggest bestest most amazing success!"

"Well, it didn't take long till Neil was running his office in the Palace exactly the way Mickey had run his before he got told he had to leave. He started arguing with everybody, and then he was caught giving $250,000 of the peasant's money to an advertising agency run by his brother-in-law. The same agency that had provided free advice to Mickey's party during the election. And without going to tender."

"My goodness!" said Don, standing up and saluting for no particular reason. "That's awfully naughty, isn't it? If I'd been there, I might have even muttered something under my breath!"

"Gosh Donny, you're awfully brave!" said Dotty. "So what did Neil do? Did he admit he'd been a silly boy and try and make friends with everyone again?"

"You forget he was being advised by Mickey," cautioned Old Father Time.

"Ohhhh... so he just threw a tantrum and blamed eveybody else?" asked Dotty, catching on quick for once.

"Well his boss at the Palace, a much more experienced courtier called Winston, told Neil to be quiet and let him sort it out. But Mickey whispered that he should talk to everyone - specially the media, because Mickey loves the media. So Neil gave three interviews."

"But any publicity is good publicity, even if it shows you getting hives or not knowing the answers to some pretty basic questions, or that no one listens to your radio show" asserted Nicki, whose only achievement to date had been her extraordinary ability to repeat everything Mickey had told her, word for word.

"Not in this case," said Old Father Time. "Neil uttered some nonsense about his 'principles and those of the people who collectively elected me to Parliament [being] more important than pecuniary reward', and was sacked."

"That sounds like something Mickey said when he got caught hiring relatives to do his polling and telling fibs about it..." said Rangi, a brief frown crossing his brow and interfering with his ability to focus on the tip of his nose.

"Well ironically Neil said those words in the very same room that Mickey used to say goodbye to his friends in the media when he had to leave the Palace. Which was fitting really, since everyone had warned him that Mickey would be his downfall. And that, children, is the end of tonight's story," said Old Father Time, closing once more the (very thick) book of The Adventures of Naughty Mickey.

"But," said Dotty, looking puzzled as she settled down to sleep, "you usually end by saying 'and the moral of the story is...' You didn't say it this time. And I can't for the life of me see the moral for us in that story."

"I never thought you could," said Old Father Time, even more cryptically, as he blew out the candles.

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Naughty children

It seems some people on both sides of the debate are incapable of conducting a discussion without resorting to spurious, unnecessary and, frankly, utterly childish comments regarding people's appearance, supposed pecadillos, and so forth. Though having said that, the worst and most sustained ofenders seem to be amongst those who support the Mayor and seem to think that the way to win hearts and minds is to abuse all who disagree.

There are those amongst the Watchers who would shut down comments altogether, offering only occasional posts with no chance of discussion, disagreement, and feedback - and, of course, no chance of people leaving anonymous tips about what may (or may not) really be happening. Other Watchers fear this would play right into the hands of a Mayor who's obsessed with his own self-image, with spin, and is perhaps more skilled than anyone we know at propaganda in its most literal form - misinformation, disinformation, distraction and, when all else fails, intimidation.

Just as the we were about to end up occupying opposite sides of the LawsWatch cave, hurling WMDs (Wasteful McDonalds' Detritus) at one another, Blogger.com has come to the rescue with a new feature - comments moderation.

So, from now on, all comments will be moderated.

What does this mean?

1. As before, all comments, whether agreeing with what we've said or taking issue with a post will be welcome.
2. Also as before, commenters may disagree with one another.
3. Instead of waiting for a comment to appear which offers little or nothing beyond gratuitous personal insult, then deleting it (after it's been read by numerous people and perhaps caused distress to the person so abused) we'll catch these before they appear.
4. Comments will no longer be readable the minute they're written. In fact, depending on how busy we are, it make take several hours for them to appear, and they're likely to appear in "clumps" rather than one every few minutes as at present.

Not being able to read, and immediately react to, the comments of other people will, to some extent, stifle debate. It's with considerable regret we've had to take this step. It's with even greater regret that we realise Wanganui is a community which contains some individuals who want to reduce debate to unkind comments on the appearance of various people - on one infamous occasion, a child - rather than the issues.

We hope you'll continue visiting, and commenting. If you see this as some sinister attempt to stifle pro-diVision/Laws comment, we invite you to give it a try for the next few days - you'll see as much comment as ever disagreeing with our opinions and disputing the facts.

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Thumbs down from the critics

THE WORLD’S STUPIDEST MAYOR

Starring: Michael Laws, Dotty McKinnon, Marty Lindsay, Sue Pepperell, Rangi Wills, Muzza Who?

Genres: Comedy, tragedy and farce

Running Time: 12 months (so far)

Release Date: October 22 2004

MPAA Rating: Not for the squeamish

Distributor: WDC Films

Studio: 101 Guyton

Synopsis: Centres on the life of Michael Laws, an alien who invested several decades building a reputation for political opportunism and downright deceit. He then travelled to the Whanganui River Mudflats where he set the world record for gross stupidity and crass offensiveness in a mayor. The film follows his headlong rush into political obscurity.

Reviewers rated this mayoralty NO STARS

SAMPLE REVIEWS:

TIM SHADBOLT OF INVERCARGILL: "A shocking performance by someone who should never again be cast in any sort of political role. The Invercargill audience sighed with relief that this pathetic excuse for a mayor never came anywhere near this city and didn’t even get to audition for their mayoralty."

BOB HARVEY OF WAITAKERE: "I could find absolutely nothing to recommend in this excruciating travesty of local politics. The support cast seem to have dragged their performances down to the level of the ill-chosen lead and as he doubled as director, producer, gaffer... there was nothing he could do short of sacking himself. Someone needs to buy him a beer and tell him to piss off."

LAWSWATCH: "This woeful effort is an even bigger flop than its wireless counterpart Radio Dead and is likely to be pulled by the voters before completing its scheduled run. Graeme Taylor, who had been cast in a support role, was smart to leave the set at the first opportunity and we predict this will be damaging to the careers of the remaining cast."

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