Sound the retreat

It's rather like that old line about the peasants revolting - the Councillors are retreating.

This weekend they're meeting to start thinking about what they need to start thinking about when thinking about the next LTCCP. Or something like that. Admittedly, they're doing it very frugally, for about $4,000 we hear - and that includes a meal tonight for "participants and partners".

The Diva won't be there today, the vital processes of trying desperately to be a "celebrity" once again over-riding the paltry needs of Wanganui. Hopefully they won't start - as many such retreats do - with one of those trust-building exercises where blindfolded people fall backwards into the waiting arms of someone else, because whoever Mickey's meant to catch is in for a rude awakening, and maybe a few bruises. Come to think of it, the result would be much the same whether or not he was there.

Demonstrating his abiding respect for the consultation process, the Diva opines that back in 2003 the WDC "botched the exercise" of formulating an LTCCP, according to the latest Mayoral column. "Since LTCCPs are established every three years, they are essentially detailed plans to get you through that triennium. But the law requires you to look beyond that three years, and plan for the next decade as well", he continues (our emphasis). A whole decade of planning! Clearly, Vision's vision is somewhat myopic.

Details of just what our City elders (and in their eyes at least, betters) got up to this weekend will be "released... at a later date", the Diva says. But he does reveal that topics under discussion will include:

• population projections
• the kind of residents Wanganui will attract and house
• infrastructure development
• new sub-divisions and how to plan for them
• debt issues
• levels of council service
• the equity and efficacy of our rates structure
• Council intervention – what happens when the market fails

We can only wonder what some of the Diva's supporters, who seem to think a Red comes standard under every bed, will make of the last one.

In an attempt to ensure that what really happens doesn't reach the ears of LawsWatch and the populace - as opposed to the Spin Fairy's version (which is probably written already) it's all happening under "Chatham House rules", to "encourage free, frank and fearless debate and discussion" according to the Diva. We can just imagine how frank and fearless the likes of Muzza Hughes are being right now, even as we write this.

While calling down the Cone of Silence to cover the KAOS is standard modus operandi for Vision, what truly frightens LawsWatch comes in an aside to all this talk of serious debate. Talking of his plans to invite Rangitikei Mayor Bob Buchanan to be guest speaker, the Diva reveals:

...a couple of people thought it might be entertaining to have 'a celebrity mate or two' present. I thought about that, the expenses involved, and the Retreat’s purpose … and instead asked Rangitikei’s Mayor Bob Buchanan to be our speaker.

So at least some of the people attending the retreat - who are Councillors and senior Council officers - were desperate to have "a celebrity mate or two" along. They saw a Council planning meeting as, say, a chance to rub noses with Marc Ellis (in the traditional Maori greeting, we mean). No wonder they're prepared to go along with the Diva - they're... well, star struck is one phrase to describe such pitiful individuals. There's another applicable phrase, also starting with "star" - but we're far too polite to use it here.

Comments on this post are now closed.