Itching to talk aitch
Thanks to Watchers, Council meetings are rivalling the River Queen "premiere" and Mayoral Mile as must-see events. Committee Room 2 has been packed to the gunwales for recent committee meetings, and the council is not only running out of room, but also chairs.
So to save the council the bother of seating all those Watchers who thought to turn up at tomorrow's Strategy Committee meeting for Item 4 - the "redebate" of the debate-that-wasn't on whether the H should be included in the buy-election/referendumb - we offer the following preview.
First though, a recap. For those who have been on another planet, the Diva (cheered on by the Winston-worshipping sector of the population of Whanga-vague-as) want the chance to say "no" to Ken Mair and the rest of those uppity Maoris. With necks glowing the colour of a Castlecliff sunrise, these Lawsmobbers intend to fight them on the beaches, in the RSAs, and retirement homes. After all, they didn't fight in the war, alongside the Maori Battalion... ummm... to have names that are bastardised, Anglicised Maori spoken properly and... ummm... well... look, these Maoris are just too damn uppity.
However, a lot of hope has been vested in Sue Pepperell, billed by no less than Deputy Dotty as "part-Maori … and I’d like to think that will contribute to cross-cultural understanding in Wanganui. There are no issues that we can’t resolve together, with good communication and good will."
After Sue Pepperell’s brave attempt to stop the Diva pouring a jerry can of inflammable fuel on the fragile race relations of W(h)anganui last month, we might have thought sanity had prevailed – apart from the predictable outpouring of insanity on the letters page of the Chronic.
So, will Cr Sue turn up for tomorrow's "redebate" and how will she feel as she looks around the table and surveys the wreckage of her dreams? According to the agenda for tomorrow’s production, brought to you by Michael Laws Inc, "Councillors McGregor, Dahya, Hughes, Higgie and McKinnon have advised the Chief Executive Officer that they wish the spelling of Wanganui as a Referendum ’06 topic to be redebated".
Let us imagine, for a moment, this cast of zombies strolling down the red carpet to Committee Room 2, for the acting performance of their lives as they explain their desperate need to, just coincidentally, do exactly what the Diva wants:
DON McGREGOR: Well, as everyone knows I’m very keen not to be obliterated so I’ve become quite a crusader against Michael’s plan to scrap all non-Vision councillors. It definitely shouldn’t be on the referendumb because it's a very complex issue and I really don’t want to find myself without a job, despite the fact I've been sucking up to Michael at every opportunity. So why do I want the H to be there? Well, that’s a good question. I’ve been docking lately and I asked the sheep to tick the box as they went through the trough and they all said, "baaa-aah" which any fool knows, means "yes". Sheep... the WDC... I don't see the difference, do you?
RANDHIR DAHYA: Well, as everyone knows I was the highest polling council candidate and everyone comes up to me in the street and tells me what a prat Michael Laws is and I tell them, "Don’t worry, with my help he’ll trip himself up soon". So, when he said to me, "Dear Lord, Randhir, you’re not really going to be your own man on this, are you?" I said, "No, of course not Michael". Just you watch, he’ll trip himself up soon but in the meantime he’s giving me harbour and Kowhai Park and anyway, I really think he’s quite amusing, in a megalomanical way, don’t you?
MUZZA HUGHES: I haven’t said anything meaningful all year and I don’t intend to start now but if those Maoris want a bit of a hand up in the world I’ll be happy to give them a dishwasher.
NICKI HIGGIE: Oh, that’s just lovely, terrific and wonderful. I did say to Michael, "It’s not really as bad as it looks, Michael" and of course, I do love language so, silly me, I thought it seemed like a good idea to get all those lovely, terrific and wonderful people to tell us how lovely, terrific and wonderful the H was. But then Michael pointed out to me that I was being such a silly billy and I’d promised I’d never ever vote on the wrong side… so then I said... well, perhaps I should just say that I’d just love us to do whatever Michael tells us to do… Sorry Sue.
DOT McKINNON: My husband is a lawyer and he told me that Michael’s always right, and I didn’t get where I am today by kow-towing to uppity Maoris. I’ve been watching that River Queen movie and it’s obvious that the Brits won hands-down. Michael's told me that when I'm mayor I can rebuild the stockade and build a fabulous new entertainment establishment on that bit of wasteland down by the river. So let’s start now the way we mean to go on, I say.
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24 comments:
Sue P. needs to do a deal: they vote against the H and she'll vote against the councillor numbers.
I think it's too late for any sort of deal apart from the old Yes, Michael sort of deal.
Never too late for horse trading.
Geez this string is only slightly less puerile than the rubbish about Boarding school!
In the last post there were comments about the Mayor & Mayoress not attending enough functions. Yes, well, they actually do, but Chron seems to have an aversion to photographing them at the events, and the general public don't realise how many they do actually attend.
There is no 'h' in Wanganui
anon- the general public don't realise how many they do actually attend.
List them please, Michael, say for the last fortnight.
And perhaps Michael would like to provide a list for, say the first two weeks of July or August or similar - in other words, one of the months before he suddenly rediscovered propoganda value of happy families.
Crs Dahya and McGregor are looking increasingly like Dunne and Peters - ministers outside the Vision cabinet.
To continue the analogy you'd have to say Wills is our very own Jim Anderton.
The baubles of office must be very appealing.
can anyone substantiate the laws couple being at any small functions recently?e.g.-local groups?
Marion said...
There is no 'h' in Wanganui
Whanganui UCOL
Whanganui Regional Museum
Whanganui Artists' Guild
Whanganui District Health Board
Whanganui te awa
Whanganui Property Inverstors Association
Whanganui Community Foundation
"oo cares if them northerners'll call it Fonganui? Back 'ome, yercan ardly tell't sommat folks say. Try goin' ter Darbyshur!"
And perhaps Michael would like to provide a list for, say the first two weeks of July or August or similar - in other words, one of the months before he suddenly rediscovered propoganda value of happy families.
6:50 PM, October 19, 2005
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It's nasty stuff like this - full of false innuendo - that makes you realise hoew desperate LawsWatch and her arts mates are.
Frankly I think its fantastic that Michael & Leonie are a great couple and raise three great kids and if that doesn't fit the prejudices of some of the malcontents here then tough. They're obviously in love and that is something some of the people in here need more of.
I'll bet a LawsWatch mug, that Michael Laws gets his way over the letter H issue and its in the referendum. Now you're attacking even the non-Vision councillors like Don McG, Randhir D and Rangi W for letting Wanganui have a democratic say on the issue.
So are you going to do a Mitchell-Anyon? Burn your ballot and lose the right to ever be taken seriously?
Laws recently wrote a letter to the editor praising the rugby team and how well they went. I never saw him at one match. What a dickhead
It's funny hearing the constant refrain that McGregor et al are with Mickey all the way. Not even all of Vision's with Mickey all the way. Don McGregor talked of Laws' ability to be economical with the truth when they debated whether Councillor numbers should be put to the referendumb. He has shown obvious anger at Laws' rudeness before now.
Policy is one thing, politeness is another. I wonder why Mickey is the only one talking about the retreat.
So are you going to do a Mitchell-Anyon? Burn your ballot and lose the right to ever be taken seriously?
40-odd percent of Wangas boycotted the last referendumb. You just insulted a large number of people.
So, I say you're rude, obnoxious and toxic to polite discussion. But then that's what we're here to discuss in a way.
I'll see your Lawswatch mug, and raise you a T-shirt, that Whanganui will not be sucked into Mickey's divisive games. Vote we may, but Pakaitore this ain't. It's a diversion from the Port Land Treaty issues, for one thing.
Cr Marty Lindsay comments... - 19/10/05
I'm just in a meeting...
If you don't much fancy meetings, you probably won't much fancy life as an elected member. There are plenty of them. From recommendations meetings to working parties, standing committee meetings to full council meetings, codes of conduct to citizenship ceremonies, informal meetings to specialist committee meetings – there’s one for every occasion. How long do they go for? It's a bit like a piece of string really. The shortest one I've attended to date was wrapped up in 3 minutes 20. The longest went for several days. My wife kept driving past to see what colour smoke was coming out the chimney for that one.
A year ago we had seven standing committees – strategy, audit and administration, community, works and transport/harbour, environment and economic, along with the rural community board and the specialist hearings community. Since then economic has been dispensed with due to the creation of Wanganui Inc and items for environment have been spread among other committees.
We have some new specialist committees – youth, Maori and heritage. These committees have been established to achieve certain community outcomes, and as such, they don't necessarily fit into the same six-week cycle as the standing committees. They tend to meet according to their own special needs, but just like the others they report directly to the full council. Their members will often be drawn partly from the community at large in order to provide more expertise for the tasks at hand.
That's the point we're at with the heritage committee. Very soon we'll begin a number of incredibly important jobs – to identify sites and buildings of heritage value, to promote, preserve and protect them, to tell the Wanganui regional story, to promote heritage events, and to act as an advocate on heritage issues.
We're lucky. A great deal of our heritage – natural, built and living – remains intact. The greater Wanganui region and the river have rich histories, we still have beautiful old buildings, and many of our people have wonderful stories of their forefathers that we must cherish, but also share with others. They are what make us unique and they are what make us special.
So that's the task of the heritage committee in a nutshell. One of the things we must keep asking ourselves as we make decisions about our community is "where are we going?" Someone once said "To know where you're going, you must know where you’ve come from".
I was quite impressed by this op-ed piece in my Midweek today. Reactions?
noddy [well named] wrote -
Laws recently wrote a letter to the editor praising the rugby team and how well they went. I never saw him at one match. What a dickhead
7:43 PM, October 19, 2005
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Then you obviously
a) weren't there yourself
b) were blind
c) were blind drunk.
I saw him at three Wanganui home games this year and with his kids.
... and he gives Wanganui a plug on his rugby show most weeks too.
I was quite impressed by this op-ed piece in my Midweek today. Reactions?
While we'd like to see a little less generality and a little more particularity, Marty clearly knows more about the role and function of Council and committees than does Muzza.
ML doesnt have to answer to Mad Hatters because of his lack of attendance at boring tea parties, just because Chas was the Minister of Wine and Cheese!
He needs to maximise his time doing stuff ...like saving ratepayers money...coming up with clever ideas and stirring up the fringe element (everyone's entitled to some fun).
I saw him at two rugby games at the Cooks but I only went to two myself if that helps.
OK, so there is an 'h' in Whanganui - there is definitely no 'h' in Wanganui
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