Rubbish, Michael

Litterbugs are a perennial problem for any Council, and there are all sorts of innovative ways of tackling the problem. In Hong Kong, you'll find yourself HK$1,500 poorer if you drop litter, put up a poster to advertise an event, or allow your dog to do what comes naturally (no, not the thing you have to put a stop to with a garden hose, the other thing that comes naturally).

In Missouri they've found the need to have a specific law prohibiting people from putting "any dead animal, carcass or part thereof, the offal or any other filth into any well, spring, brook, branch, creek, pond, or lake" - an offence for which they can pay anything from $25 to $500. And frankly, to have them cart away that used rhinoceros for $25 is cheap at half the price, we feel.

In the UK, a dog which doesn't pop into a Portaloo will cost you £50 (around NZ$126) while stubbing out a cigarette in Thailand will set you back 2,000 baht (around NZ$70, but remembering the average wage in Thailand is a little over 100 baht a day, so being fined a fortnight's wages for every butt certainly makes those nicotine patches a worthwhile investment).

Alert Watchers will see a common principle embodied in these laws. For those a fraction less alert, we'll spell out what it is - the litterer pays the penalty of his or her (or their dog's) actions.

But Wanganui dares to be different (again). According to the Diva, it's the retailer who should shoulder the burden. After all, they're mostly the people who are paying for the "nil" residential rates rise, so they've had practice in paying up so that others don't have to.

Yes, McDonalds, Burger King and KFC ought to be penalised for what people do with their wrappers after they leave the store. As will the likes of Glasgow St Dairy and Takeaways, Jabie’s Doner Kebabs and 24/7 Dublin St Fish Supply, none of whom seemed willing to step up and accept the responsibility that's so obviously theirs when contacted by the Chron.

What is wrong with these people? If they're not prepared to shadow their patrons down Victoria Ave, pouncing on them if they look like discarding that filthy wrapper where it may stick to the Diva's shoe, they're simply not being the kind of upstanding citizens we want in Wanganui.

Guyton St will no doubt soon have it's very own CSI unit, carrying out spectrographic analysis of chewing gum and dog leavings to determine whether the bill should be sent to Mr Wrigley or Mr PK (we suspect this may be an alias), to Mr Champ or Mr Chum. After all, it's their fault what the consumer does with their products after they leave the store.

In fact, civic-minded citizens ought to litter just so they can pay the fine, and thus fill the dwindling Council coffers to help pay for the Mayoral pork-barrel fest. Come on, Dr Warburton, it's time for signs in every park, aimed at dog walkers: "Do a s**t for Splash" (meaning, of course, their dogs. There are limits to Diva devotion, even in Wanganui).

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