You’re not in Guatemala now, Michael

Watchers who are wondering what Guatemala and Wanganui have in common may not be surprised to learn that the rulers of the corruption-infested Central American nation immortalised in our very own soap Shortland Street (and retained for posterity at youtube) also enjoy a referendum or three.

The only difference would seem to be that when Guatemala’s citizens line up to vote “according to the customs and traditions of the communities - by a raising of the hand, a paper vote, or the signing of a list provided by the community mayor”, there are no fewer than “384 national and international observers, as well as delegates from the Human Rights Procurator's Office” keeping a beady eye on proceedings.

Incidentally, the hapless citizens of Guatemala are also in the early stages of a campaign leading up to September elections and in the same week that Michael Laws was honing his political assassination hit list at a meeting debating the gang bylaw, ABC was reporting that they’re also wasting no time getting down to the messy business in Guatemala, where “20 political figures had been killed before official campaigning even began”.

We’re not in Guatemala now, Watchers, but many of you are asking about the mysterious disappearance from the mayoral agenda of the Mad Mayor’s Heart of Wanganui project. And at the Cave we are beginning to suspect it might have been rubbed out in an unusual and stealthy act of political assassination.

As we prepare to turn the calendar page on yet another month in Referendum City, we stumbled across the October 4th 2006 news release promising the biggest ever propaganda campaign in the leadup to a mid-May referendum.

The campaign will kick off on Thursday, October 26. After the initial meetings, further information will be provided by:

1. Advertising the options in 'Community Link' (the council's weekly page in the Wanganui Chronicle).

2. Special pamphlets delivered to every householder (two deliveries).

3. Suburban public meetings and presentations.

4. A dedicated website.

5. A shopfront display on Victoria Avenue.

6. Further public meetings in the lead-up to the referendum in mid-May 2007.

Oops! Items 5 and 6 seem to be missing in action, as the Chron(ic) beats the drums for Philippa Baker-Hogan’s alternative monument at Cooks Gardens, and breathlessly reports that “at this point a rough estimate of a possible price of a full events centre would be somewhere around $10 million”. Cheap as chips, really, compared to the mega-millions (and up to $284 per ratepayer impost) needed to give birth to Mickey’s Heart.

No mention yet of a referendum and we look forward to hearing just how financial wizard Julian Harkness will find $80,000 for a feasibility study for this new slice of pie in the Wanganui sky, on top of the more than a quarter of a million already tossed at the Heart project.

But back to the Heart of the Matter, Watchers. Idle speculation over Sunday lattes at the Cave has us wondering whether the Heart has flatlined because it’s just too damned hard to squeeze the myriad and confusing options onto a referendum that by it’s very nature must be nothing more than a propaganda campaign to ensure voters tick the box that Michael Laws wants them to tick. In view of whispers here at LawsWatch that Deputy Dotty has done the deal of her life to be put up as Vision’s Great Mayoral Hope, on a nightmare ticket with Mickey running as Deputy, can it be that’s she’s losing her taste for caviar and champagne projects like the Heart?

Meanwhile, the ratepayers are stuck with the bills for last year’s Heart design extravaganza. Tony Van Raat may have been a buddy of Arts Czar Sally Patrick, but there’s no suggestion that his services, or the proven world-class talents of his fellow rich-and-famous Auckland architects Pete Bossley and David Mitchell came cheap. Unlike the forlorn, fading and just plain freaky “branding” exercise that polluted Wanganui’s streets and approaches with tackiness hailed by Mickey on December 12th last year as being an "extraordinarily cheap" example of mates rates by an Auckland hobbyist who, Commenters have been explaining under the last post, just happens to be a mate of a staffer of Mickey’s discredited Wanganui Inc.

And as we approach the start of the pre-election period with its ban on using council channels to promote the changes of incumbents, it’s no surprise to see Mickey also demanding dollars for Vision campaign events to “celebrate” everything from the sewerage plant and splash centre extensions to the airport runway improvements.

It’s all there in the minutes of the May 10th committee meeting, though there’s no record of the sniggers that undoubtedly emanated from the three remaining “independent” councillors at this little mayoral gem:

Mayor Laws said if the council agrees [to the Vision propaganda blitz] each project requires its own commemoration, a budget would be required. He said because of the timing of the triennial elections, a decision needed to be made now as a new council would not have time to make the necessary commemoration arrangements.