More tomfoolery in Visionland

`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

We beseech you, dear Watchers, to join us for another chapter in the tale of Antoinette in Visionland, where our heroine finds herself in the midst of a strange menagerie of Vision candidates wearing funny hats as she defends herself on charges of forging a document.

Even stranger, the King of the Vision court is wearing eye makeup and the Queen is wearing a funny Horizons hat, even though she hardly ever goes to Horizons meetings. (For the evidence of that, dear Watchers, please click here or see the post below). OFF WITH HER HEAD! we hear you shout.

Can this be the sort of ‘tomfoolery’ that caused an outbreak of tutting and tongue clicking in an editorial cutely titled Wrong Choices in today’s Chron(ic)? Of course, we at LawsWatch are reluctant to add to the distress of the House of Laws already caused by the public airing of the oh-so-delicate topic of Leonie Brookhammer’s ratepayer rip-off … distress so acute, in fact, that Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws was forced to breach his own policy of only talking about personal family matters in colour spreads in the Wimin’s Daze or the Sunday Crimes. There he is, on page 3 today, confiding in his buddy Mas that his children’s health may have had something to do with the fact that “Leonie had been unable to attend all those meetings”.

We would love to be able to report that Mas then had an acute attack of journalistic instinct and pointed out to readers that Brookhammer’s maternal obligations didn’t prevent her applying for and getting a Wellington-based job … but of course Mas was inoculated against all variants of Journalism Syndrome the day Mickey rode into town and infected him with a bad dose of Mayoral Love Disease. And that also presumably explains why he politely didn’t ask the Object of his Affection just why he and the mother of his oh-so-sick children still feel comfortable banking close to $90,000 worth of Horizons ratepayers’ dosh, under the circumstances.

We’re inclined to label the whole sorry tale the most immoral and corrupt facist act that we’ve witnessed in the last three years with Michael Laws as mayor .. but that line has already been taken by none other than our bold and fearless defender of democracy himself on today’s front page.

Neither did Mas probe just what sort of shock and horror prompted this comment in the ghost-written press release in the Brookhammer name that carried his byline the day before:

"I also believe that I have the experience and ability to make a greater contribution to Wanganui, closer to home," Cr Brookhammer said.

We are of course awash with empathy for her situation. It must be just awful to have to travel to Palmerston North to put in an appearance at every fourth meeting, in order to avoid being kicked off Horizons and losing the $1200 per meeting she’s been pulling in. So whatever new close to home ratepayer rort Mayor Michael has in mind, we’re sure she’ll not only stand by her man but ensure the House of Laws continues to receive it’s share of ratepayer or taxpayer funding.

Meanwhile, Watchers, we were somewhat amused by the antics of that venerable old rag Women’s Weekly which kicked up its heels, lifted its skirt, poured a nice sherry and engaged in a bit of risqué humour to celebrate its 75th birthday. Running photos of the eye-linered one and “courageous cancer battler” Jools Topp of Topp Twins fame, WW pointed out the uncanny resemblance.

Which prompted the Stuff gossip columnist to opine:

I'd say we blame Michael Laws for this fashion crossover and suggest he stop wearing so much eyeliner.

Here at LawsWatch we think it’s hardly fair on either Topp Twin to be compared with what TV One’s Monday satire show FaceLift more accurately referred to as “Wanganui’s poofter mayor”.