Friday, May 26, 2006

White shoes? Check. Attitude? Unchecked.

Godzilla vs King Kong? A minor scuffle compared to the Battle of the Titan(ic)s which may be about to break out in parts north.

For LawsWatch hears, from a usually reliable source, than none other than our Mickey has been asking around about the state of play at Manukau City Council, and other parts of the Dorkland conurbation, with a view to wreaking his particular brand of havoc up there.

This may see him pitted against another clapped-out politician renowned for his gentle and sensitive approach to governance - John Banks, whom the Herald on Sunday recently reported is considering a return to local plitics despite a resounding defeat to Dick Hubbard.

Banks at least made it to what could be considered the top of the mayoral tree, whilst Mickey is clinging to one of the lower branches. And such a battle is made all the poignant by the fact that as recently as his latest e-coli Mickey confessed he'd like to host a breakfast talkback show one day - something that Banks has also beaten him to. And his show actually rates. If both decide to compete for the same mayoral chair, expect displays of ego not seen in Auckland since the last time Paul Holmes was made to wait for a table.

And if "Michael Laws for Mayor" signs suddenly start sprouting around Manukau, what of long-serving Mayor Sir Barry Curtis, currently serving a seventh successive term, the second longest period as mayor in New Zealand. Curtis says he attends almost a 1,000 public events a year and keeping in touch with voters is one of the secrets to his political longevity. No "diary too full" excuses for Sir Barry, but then he has a quaint notion that being a mayor, rather than attempting to be a "celebrity", ought to be first priority.

Mind you, if he is tipped out by our Mickey, Manukau-ites probably won't notice a huge change. Their response to critics sound eerily alike. The letter that Curtis wrote to a ratepayer & former Councillor, Bill Kirk (80) who dared to question Sir Barry's stand on the Whenuapai Airbase as Auckland 2nd airport, included the claim that:

I believe I have more energy, knowledge and history of achievement than all members of the Manukau City Council put together including most of the staff.
And ended with this rather curious statement:

My support for you has vanished as a result of this newspaper article and no doubt you will see the results of this in due course.
Obviously Sir Barry likes his job, isn't about to retire (he tells the same unfortunate correspondent that he has "yet to see a younger person with the political fortitude, vision and courage, capable of taking on the fulltime responsibility as Mayor of Manukau") and knows how to play dirty. We'll keep our ears to the ground. At least that will make us the first to hear the stampede of JAFAs heading south when the news starts to spread.

We've asked our good friends at Manukau Citizen to poll the locals as to their thoughts on the matter. Meanwhile, we feel a poll of our own coming on...

Michael Laws for Mayor of Manukau?

Yes, please God, yes! Anything to get rid of him. And they deserve it up them, the smug bastards.
Yes, he's done a wonderful job of reigning serenely over Wanganui and the good people of Auckland deserve a term of his munificence.
No, having Mickey as our Mayor is our penance for voting for him in the first place, and we must suffer it alone. It wouldn't be fair to offload him.
No, there's still bits of the town left standing. The man still has work to do!
No, he's the best thing ever to happen to the town and I vote to have him as "Mayor for Life". And I'm not the Mayoress / John Maslin / The Spin Fairy (Mk II) / Dr Warburton / a WINC teat-sucker. Honest I'm not!


Free polls from Pollhost.com
Comments on this post are now closed. The poll will remain open till further notice.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yer go on Mickey...much nicer up there...more cosmopolitan, cultured, receptive. Close to the action. Part of the action. You would be appreciated, not like here.The hicks down here will always hate you. No low life giving you the fingers up there.

Anonymous said...

Oh God, haven't we suffered enough?

Anonymous said...

FRED IN TODAY'S CHRON:

"Michael Laws going around saying 'bi-cultural governance is the worst thing that has happened to the museum' is probably not a good idea."

WRONG! You got it WRONG Mickey.

The worst thing that happened to the museum is Mickey Mayor (even worse than the two-faced Don McGregor and his racist cronies.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mr Maslin

Has it occurred to you that the reason many Whanganui people haven’t played the submission game this year is that they know the contemptuous and arrogant bunch of nobodies around the council table will treat them with contempt and arrogance. If you don’t believe use, read you own front page.

Anonymous said...

Let him go, Whanganui! It’s great fun watching him go on to wreck another city because the fools there were stupid enough to vote for him.

Schadenfreude ist die schönste Freude (denn sie kommt von Herzen)

The Residents of Hawke’s Bay

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Mickey, go stick it to those Auckland wankers. Your incompetence will go perfectly with their gridlock.

Anonymous said...

Better cosmetic surgery facilities in Auckland too.

Anonymous said...

If Auckland lacks a low life giving you the fingers, isn't that a perfect niche for Lawsy?

Anonymous said...

The lack of submissions indicates that people know Council aren't listening: why else would Mickey's projects be funded from everlasting asset sales, while anything else "will cause a rates increase"?

Bring eggs to the hearing.

Anonymous said...

Picking up a Chron the other day with Ray Stevens and brick on the front page, the shopkeeper opined that the councillor should take the brick to the next council meeting and use it to shut up the shit at the top of the table.

Anonymous said...

Let's just put the Museum "debate" (there is no debate - I put it that way as a sop to Mickey) into context.

Would it be appropriate for Margaret Thatcher, or Tony Blair, or Ken Livingstone, to have any say in how the British Museum is administered?

Would it be appropriate for George Bush to have any say in what gets shown at the Moma?


Would it be appropriate for the Taliban to have influence in museums in Afghanistan - oh, no wait...

It's a no-brainer, but when did that ever stop Mr. No-Brains?

Anonymous said...

Manukau would be good but why don't we get a copy of his CV and circulate it among the trashier Queensland radio and television stations or maybe Texas or any southeastern United State.

Our man in Wanganui would be perfect hosting a game show.

Anonymous said...

So Mickey is having a pop at bi-culturalism now? How wonderful. I was wondering how long it would take him to have a go at the natives. He's picking a fight he certainly can't win there.....

Anonymous said...

Jesus, the neck of this dickhead. Having spent his entire reign thus far banging on about how art and culture are for snobbish elites and we'd all be better off with a nice swimming pool to keep the proles happy, he comes out in the Chron talking about his begging mission to Helengrad thus:

"The importance of the three collections to the nation meant they “must be worth more than $2.5 million” of Government funding, he said."

So, they're important to the nation, but not to Wnaganui apart fomr a few single-issue nutters? Mickey, you've got a neck harder a jockey's croth....

Anonymous said...

At this rate the Chron ought to be able to keep it's questions to Mickey running for about eight weeks ...

Mickey's probably already written the patsy ghost questions from:

Muzza
Marty
Nicki
Pep
Dotty
Rangi
Baker-Hogan
Bob Walker

Anonymous said...

Didn't that Herald on Sunday story about John Banks say he was trying to muzzle his rotweiller genes because even the irredeemable thick Banks has figured out that behaving like a potty-mouthed bovver boy was got him booted out unceremoniously from the Auckland mayoralty?

That's a lesson Mickey Mayor seems unable to grasp. No wonder he's looking to get out before he gets kicked out of Whanganui.

Anonymous said...

Tupoho kaumatua John Maihi to the two-faced Cr Wills:

“Take a strong message back to your mayor … we need to be working together”.

NB Rangi: He probably doesn’t mean, “Michael I love the way you stick it to Whanganui and its people every chance you get and I get a real buzz every time I give you my vote.’

He just may be talking about mayoral threats to the Museum’s funding and the mayoral views on joint governance arrangements, not to mention the H, Maori wards etc.

Anonymous said...

It seems the mayor has already started assembling diVision's campaign team for October 07:

Campaign Manager: John Maslin

Good choice, Mickey.

Not such a good choice, Mas.

Anonymous said...

I notice Mental Mickey's latest e-coli includes a question from what would assume is a man-in-the-street ratepayer about the forestry dividends and when MM found out about the shortfall. The e-coli states the question is from Alan Taylor of Westmere. Would this, perhaps be the same Alan Taylor who stood as a Vision candidate for the rural community board in the by-election in January? One of the Vision candidates that got in a touch of strife over signs being erected in off-limits sites? So, basically MM, what your e-coli consists of now is fawning questions from your admirers. Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Bearhunter said...
I notice Mental Mickey's latest e-coli includes a question from what would assume is a man-in-the-street ratepayer about the forestry dividends and when MM found out about the shortfall.

***************

For the benefit of Bearhunter and anyone else who would rather not spend a dollar a day on Mr Maslin's pathetic excuse for a newspaper, the "e-coli" of which you speak actually appears in all its glory (and with Awful Alan's question at the bottom) on the letters page today.

Anonymous said...

...Would this, perhaps be the same Alan Taylor who stood as a Vision candidate ...

Yes, Bearhunter, it is, only 'round this way we call him Patsy.