An orchestrated litany of lies

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STOP PRESS: READ HERE WHAT THE CHRON WON’T TELL YOU!

Police are investigating an alleged assault at a Wanganui mayoral election forum earlier this week after a candidate's mother claimed that a man had hit her several times.
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Watchers reporting from the streets, supermarkets and cafes of the River City are seeing an overwhelming swing in voter opinion against Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws and his Vision Wanganui henchmen. Despite the outbreak of ratepayer-funded pork barrel politicking by Mickey (free ice-creams for kids, for heaven’s sake!), the electorate has had enough of three years of grandstanding, abuse and anti-democratic diVision party politics. Even previous non-voters can’t wait to cast Laws into talkback oblivion on October 13.

And Watchers are quick to remind their whanau and friends how lucky they are to have the right to vote for 12 non-Vision councillors after around 100 brave souls stood up for democracy, faced down the mini-dictator and succeeded when the Local Government Commission exposed MickeyMayor’s lies and propaganda and upheld the status quo. (Three years ago division ‘policy’ was to cut the number of elected councillors to eight with a claimed saving of $100,000 per annum). However, not even Cr Rangi Wills' duplicity and the Vision puppets' complicity could save this attempted further lurch to dictatorship after the people spoke – crucially they spoke to a statutory “outside” body where the customary Vision bullying carried absolutely no weight.

Meanwhile, as Capt Michael Laws steers Air Vision Wanganui on the flight path for its Electoral Erebus on October 13, our fair city finds itself engulfed in the white-out conditions of, in Justice Mahon’s immortal words, an orchestrated litany of lies. Only paid up mayoral groupies John Maslin (see Mas’s ecstatic editorial of May 2004) and Catherine Kennedy seem to have kept the faith.

And as the first hint of Wanganui’s equinocal nor-wester littered the Cave with a plethora of pamphlets from election hopefuls, Watchers weren’t surprised to find among the pictures of Mayor Michael Laws’ kids, parents, defacto etc (bet he’s wishing he had a dog or cat or two to complete the line-up – Ed) more dodgy claims of personal policy triumphs over the past three years than you could shake a mayoral stick at. In fact, we suspect that MickeyMayor has none other than his old PR queen Antoinette Beck running the Vision Wanganui propaganda machine!

When the Cave TV set is on the blink Watchers can sometimes be found playing a game of their own invention, called Where are they now? This involves crudely scrawling in charcoal on the Cave walls lists of Vision promises from 2004 that have never seen the light of day, or worse have turned out to be A-Grade, Money-wasting Flops. (You’ll note that we don’t include consequences like Politically Damaging, Ballot-Box suicide, Credibility Busting. These are the obvious kinds of collateral damage that Vision-style failures generally bring down on the heads of their promoters in more enlightened areas of democracy that are blessed with a free press, and journalists and opposition politicians worthy of the name. All entirely absent in Wanganui!

Scroll down for evidence of some 2007 campaign lies from Wanganui mayor Michael Laws and a small selection of broken promises and other lies from the 2004 Vision policy manifesto:

WALKING THE TALK

Regarding the new river walkway, Mickey said the following: "The total cost to the ratepayer will be just $800,000. The total budget may be $2.2 million, but $1.4 million of that sum has come from sources other than the Wanganui ratepayer."
The funding for the project includes $1.3 million from Development Contributions and approximately $800,000 loan funded. If you remove the spin, the Mayor has spent $2.1m ($1.3m + $800k) of Council money on the walkway. Council money. Our money.

AND

The financing of the walkway is perhaps the most cynical act perpetrated by M Laws and his Vision muppets since taking office. Development Contributions is a fund that is built up through a levy of $1800 per section paid by anybody who creates a new subdivision. It is set up by all councils to provide funding for future subdivision infrastructure. At 30th April 2007 Council minutes show that the fund had a balance of $1,120,627. I believe that Laws sought a legal opinion on whether he could divert the funds away from the purpose it was supposed to be used for- future subdivisions- and into his pet project. In the agenda preamble council officer Natalie Cowper said" Special Funds are Council's monies that can only be spent on expenditure for which the fund was originally set up. They are termed "restricted equity" according to the Local Government Act 2002. The redirection of these funds is a scandal, and would not happen in any other Council.

MUSEUM MOMENTS

Here's one, from a Chron article by Maslin on 12/6/07: “Mayor Michael Laws told Monday’s meeting that the museum board had cost ratepayers $60,000 because of its ‘intransigence’.”

RATES RORTS

This is a pretty good one about the rates. From the Chronicle 12/6/07 (Maslin, of course): Laws was adamant the rate increase and impact of the levies could not be considered in percentage terms. Cr. McGregor said it was "misleading" to keep the items separate. But Mr Laws said ....”You can’t, because it could then be argued we’ve delivered something like a minus 3% rate”. Mr. Laws said...for the third year in a row Wanganui was on target to effect the lowest annual rates increase in the country

AND …

I'm still trying to find somebody whose rates only went up by 1.7%. Most of the properties in my area had about a 10% increase even before the bullshit levies are added.

CAMPAIGN SLIME
Here’s a nice promise from Wednesday’s Chron. Virginia Lake will be algal bloom-free this summer. “in the short-term, and for a cost of around $20,000, we can ensure Virginia Lake is healthy and algae-free this summer”. That is the sort of promise you can make if you are willing to bypass democratic process completely. So much more efficient to just have a word with Leo and Dave. And why not. The timing’s perfect. Campaign in full swing. All those pesky meetings are over and YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!

A SMALL SELECTION OF BROKEN PROMISES AND OTHER LIES FROM THE 2004 VISION POLICY MANIFESTO:

There will be no rates increase under a Vision Wanganui-led council in the 2005/06 financial year. #failed (oops – they forgot it was a revaluation year)

Create a ‘Residents’ Rights Charter’ that explicitly defines the service standards a ratepayer and/or resident may expect from Council #failed (mayor decided residents should have no rights)

Start discussions with our nearest territorial neighbours to see if some efficiencies cannot be gained from aggregating particular services. #failed (Mayor decided to insult and abuse them instead)

Institute quarterly suburban meetings to ensure that the Mayor and councillors go to their constituents rather than vice-versa #failed (no one turned up after liar-fatigue set in)

Hold a yearly Expo in the War Memorial Hall to canvas the options before Council before each yearly rates round and better inform citizens of the civic services available to them. #failed (Mayor replaced citizen consultation with citizen abuse)

Establish a Writer`s Residency that is regarded as one of the top literary prizes in New Zealand. #failed

Establish a mayoral office on Mainstreet. #failed (councillors & staff said ‘thanks but no thanks’ – too dangerous to actually meet residents.

Double the Debt = Half the Vote

Sadly, dear readers, the inconvenient scheduling of last night’s Mayoral Forum meant Watchers were gathered round Shortland Street on the gas-fired TV set at the LawsWatch Cave, where Sophie, Nate, Tess, Durville, Justine et al were going about their non-business, oblivious to the drama being played out at the Prince Edward Auditorium. Other Watchers, though avid Wanganui Chronicle readers one and all, missed the drama … the conflict … the applause … simply because the Chron managed to forget to tell anyone it was on!

So we are forced rely on reports from no less than the collective geniuses from the Chron, and to piece together comments to this blog (scroll down for the prize snippets) from Watchers who passed up Shortie Street for the night. To summarise:

Mas and Kirsty put together a macabre collection of questions for John and Michael and Russell and Randhir but not Chandra because she was staying home and sulking about something that happened ages ago and sent someone who looked like her Mum to make a nuisance of herself. It got so bad that Mas told her off and then Michael behaved badly and Kirsty made a fool of herself by letting him have his own way. Suddenly Kirsty was being booed and jeered for showing her organ’s Visionary bias in public and then Michael got even more angry and Kirsty was glad when it was all over and she could go home and watch the video of that night’s episode of Shortie Street which she’d had the foresight to tape …

The morning after hang-over must have been a shocker in the Maslin household when he saw what he’d written the night before and waited for the phone to ring with an early dose of mayoral abuse from his buddy Michael:

Martin tops mayoral forum poll

WE CALLED it "forum feedback" and if that decided the outcome of Wanganui's mayoral election race, then we’d have a new mayor! John Martin.

Of those who took part in our ballot, 64 said they'd vote for Mr Martin, 41 for incumbent mayor Mr Laws, one for Mr Fleming and none for Ms Osborne or Mr Dahya. And did the forum help in the voters' decision-making? Sixty-six said it did and 38 said it didn't.

So diVision apparently managed a turnout of roughly the same number of candidates and Bob Walker's fellow realtor Catherine Kennedys as they did at their damp squib launch a week earlier, while Randhir Dayha’s apparently undentable ego got the bash.

But the Cave’s discerning followers of the TV soaps were delighted to find the Chron(ic’s) new soap queen Lin Ferguson, editor Kirsty MacKnucklehead’s fellow Southland Times graduate, writing in the style to which they have become accustomed in a gushing review of Episode 981 of Vision Street in which Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws stars in yet another a crude election special down by the riverfront, specially funded by the Ratepayers of Wanganui …

"Michael Mayor's here! yaaay," a small group of children whispered as the opening of the Riverfront Walkway got under way on Saturday. The balmy, spring day attracted a crowd of more than 300 people to cheer on Wanganui’s latest community project.

Meanwhile, back to the Vision Street reviews provided courtesy LawsWatch’s anonymii:

ML goes Surreal on debt
Anyone who missed the forum this evening passed up the chance to listen to Mickey explain how the $31.5 million we owed in 2004 was actually less than the $67.5 we now owe and the $48 million peak we were predicting in 2004 for 2010 has now actually been reduced to $74.6 million. It was surreal

Jokers, pretenders & losers
Tonight’s mayoral forum illustrated clearly that we have a two man race. Russell Fleming is a joke and Randhir showed us all how badly he is out of his depth. Ms Osborn chose not to attend, but sent a heckler to represent her. Wonder how Randhir Dahya feels this morning? The world's biggest loser maybe?

Business as usual for Chronic
What the Chron didn't say this morning was that it didn't take long for the editor to abandon her presence of neutral chairpersonship and give ML a second crack at a question. Sure, he went through the motions of appearing to throw a wobbly at her but it was plain he was going to get his own way. Why should Monday night be any different to any other day of the week?

Vision lacks numbers
The numbers in the chron say it all - from where I was sitting down the front there appeared to be a formidable chunk of paid-up vision party candidates and their hangers on at the back plus the seriously weird Catherine Kennedy and her long-haired companion. They must have accounted for most of the 41 pro-mickey "votes" between them!

Cornered rat
Laws was really in cornered rat mode last night. The neering/shouting/snarling act probably made some of the Visionaries think wistfully about a change of mayor. I wonder if they are allowed secret votes or if they have to hand over their voting papers for mayoral inspection before putting them in the box.

Poor old Randhir While Russell Fleming turned out to be a worse buffoon than expected, one couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for Randhir. He was so clearly out of his depth and fumbling ... then with his quote about how "when he is mayor" he'll appoint the highest polling as his deputy he went and spilled the beans on his three bitter years and the deal that Mickey dangled before him to get him to make such a dick of himself by standing for mayor. If he wasn't so old, you'd want to tell him to grow up!

Promises and lies

Three long years ago, Wanganui mayor Michael Laws convinced himself that people’s memories were so short he could rise again from the ashes of his ignominious failure in national and local politics. He worked his Svengali magic on the likes of Nicki Higgie, Marty Lindsay and John Maslin then booked the 830-seat Opera House for the Vision Wanganui lunchtime launch. And from the clutter of zimmer-frames and wheelchairs on the St Hill St pavement, it seems the lure of an hour’s free operatic entertainment was sufficient to draw a good number of the aging Bob Walker’s friends from their rest-homes, though not to keep them from their midday naps (see picture above).

And what an appropriate venue our grande dame of opera was, as the castrato boy-who-would-be-mayor warbled his way through the lamentably overwrought libretto for the debut performance of diVisionii’s Promesse e bugie (that’s Promises and Lies to you, Bob! - Ed) which needless to say brought the house down among the Vision Wanganui fan club at the Chronicle editor’s office that night.

But oh how the Diva of the Ditch has fallen! After three long years of screaming abuse at Wanganui citizens and council staff, his once powerful castrato voice has lost its range and he’s reduced to performing diVisionii’s 2007 operetta Più Promette e si Trova (that’s More Promises and Lies to you, Bob! - Ed) in the 200-odd seat Davis Lecture Theatre. Or, Watchers are suggesting, is it really a case of mayoral cold feet?

The Diva has done enough polling by now to know that the citizens of Wanganui are weary of his promenading and performing, and they’ve certainly had more than enough of his Vision Wanganui promises and lies. So like a fading Dame Nellie Melba, the Diva of the Ditch has wisely chosen not to risk playing to an empty and cavernous Opera House for the last stop on his Vision Wanganui political farewell tour.

STOP PRESS: LAWSWATCH PROVED RIGHT ON THE MONEY AGAIN ... NOT EVEN MAS COULD HIDE THE FACT THAT WANGANUI MAYOR MICHAEL LAWS WAS REDUCED TO RANTING TO A PRACTICALLY-EMPTY VENUE AT THE VISION WANGANUI 2007 LAUNCH. FORCED TO ADMIT THAT 'A LITTLE LESS THAN 40" (It's time the boy reporter was sent back to school for a basic lesson in countable nouns and their appropriate adjectives - Ed) FRIENDS, RELATIVES AND BOB WALKER'S MOTHER IN LAW COULD BE LURED OUT OF THEIR RETIREMENT HOMES. IN FACT AS MAS FOUND OUT, MICKEY'S PROMISES AND LIES ACTUALLY OUTNUMBERED HIS AUDIENCE.

And from the August council minutes, two snippets follow on the Who pays the piper theme from last week’s post (see the sordid tale below of how Randhir Dahya learnt to blow for Vision):

Before members of the public were excluded from the meeting, Mayor Laws thanks John Maslin, Wanganui Chronicle Newspaper journalist, on behalf of the Council for his accuracy in reporting the Council’s meetings during this term of the Council. Mayor Laws said it had been a boon to the Council to have a veteran professional reporter. He hoped that Mr Maslin’s appointment as Council reporter would continue following the upcoming triennial election.

… and lest anybody lucky enough to win Mr Quigley’s Events Lotto should think there are no Vision strings attached, we came across this little gem in which Ray Stevens leads the way in suggesting a nifty little cost-cutting ruse for the election ‘celebrations’, much to MickeyMayor’s delight:

Cr Stevens suggested that as the Council had previously funded jazz festivals, the jazz band entertaining at the Riverfront Boardwalk and Upokongaro Jetty openings should provide its services free of charge. Mayor Laws agreed and asked Mr Quigley to follow this up.

Who pays the piper …

Fittingly, former Wanganui mayor Chas Poynter was piped on his final journey last weekend by his loyal lieutenant, friend and former deputy Randhir Dahya. Few Watchers in the Collegiate Chapel to celebrate the life – and mourn the death – of a true son of Wanganui can have been unaware of the irony surrounding Cr Dahya’s bizarre decision to ‘do a Chas’ and make a vote-splitting run for the mayoralty this year.

Wanganui mayor Michael Laws probably managed a sly smile at the thought that he may yet have the gullible Randhir to thank for finishing the job Chas started three years ago when unnamed dark forces were alleged to have persuaded him to make the mayoralty a three way race that went to bolter Laws. He may even have toyed with the idea of giving Randhir star billing on his own billboards in the sharing, caring Vision election spirit. (Yeah right! - Ed)

The punters who did their dough on Chas and found themselves living in a city struck with an epidemic of Vision flu have had plenty of time for regrets – none more so than Randhir Dahya and the other councillors who ran in independent colours in the 2004 WDC Cup. They’ve found themselves pulling up hobbled and lame through three miserable years of fixed race meetings, while the nags from the Vision stable were mercilessly whipped into shape by their cruel owner-trainer.

So what got into Randhir’s oats, you ask, to make him run against the odds for both mayor and councillor, and risk not even making it to the weigh in for either race?

The answer, from the horse’s mouth, is apparently a Faustian Bargain struck by Randhir with Wanganui’s very own Beezlebub.

As the Vision ring-ins have discovered over the past three long years, the old idiom is true: Who pays the piper calls the tune. And we are grateful to the anon who spilt the beans about Randhir’s bargain here on August 24:

Randhir had a long chat with Laws and they agreed that Randhir didn’t have a chance of winning but would be a serious vote-splitter. So Laws told Randhir that if he would run and fulfil this function, Laws would step down and hand the mayoralty over to Randhir after the election.

This came from the horse’s mouth and illustrates just how thick Randhir is in two ways. (a) He apparently believed Laws after seeing him in action for three years and (b) He told another person about the proposed ‘arrangement’. The indiscretion of (b) must have dawned on him because he has since denied the whole thing, but that is hardly surprising.

It has been said he wanted Maslin to write a story of his denial, which would have made the Chron even more mysterious reading than usual.

Thanks for that insight, anon. And wherever knowledgeable Wanganui punters gather to study form, the smart money all goes one way:

After a string of wins in previous races for council, Randhir has been saddled up by MickeyMayor for a one-way ride to the knacker’s yard as the punters punish him for trying to rig their city’s most important race.

Games people (& politicians) play

Local Body Elections: Nominees

Mayor
DAHYA, Randhir; FLEMING, Russell William; LAWS, Michael Brian; MARTIN, John Bruce; OSBORNE, Chandra Michelle.

WDC election at Large
ANDERSON, Allan Royce; BAKER-HOGAN, Philippa; BROWN, Ian Grant; BULLOCK, Barbara Lynn; DAHYA, Randhir; EDMONDS, Matthew Lyle (Matt); FLEMING, Russell William; FORLONG, Shaun Graham; HIGGIE, Nicole Andree (Nicki); HUDSON, Phillip Edward; HUGHES, Murray John; JANGO; JONAS, Danny Ronald; KEELTY, Gordon James; LINDSAY, Martin Graeme (Marty); LITTLE, Ian Paul; McGREGOR, James Roland (Don); McKINNON, Dorothy Margaret (Dot); McNABB, Andrew; MILNES, John Ingham; MITCHELL-ANYON, Ross; MOORE, Robert Joseph (Rob); OSBORNE, Chandra Michelle; SEARS, Victor Frederick; SIMPSON, Kirsty Nicole; SMITH, Rory James; STEVENS, Gary John; STEVENS, Raymond Mark (Ray); WAITAI, Rana; WESTWOOD, Susan Moya; WILLS, Rangi Marehua.

Whanganui District Health Board
ADAMS, Graham Patrick; ANDERSON, Allan Royce; BAKER, Kevin Owen; BAKER-HOGAN, Philippa June; BROOKHAMMER, Leonie; CURRY, David Andrew; DOUGLAS, William John; FAUMUI, Penaia Albert (PJ); LAWS, Michael Brian; MORRIS, Nygllhuw James (Nigel) ; RAAYMAKERS, Karen Ann; READING, Elinor Ann; SMITH, Heather Marion; SOLOMON, Clive; STEWART, Ailsa Crawford; STRONG, Trevor Alan; STUBBS, Timothy; TURNER, Michael Fisher; TUTHILL, Patricia Elizabeth (Trish) ; VALENTINE, Diana Mary (Di) ; VAUGHAN, Brian Patrick; WAITAI, Rana; WILLS, Rangi Marehua.

More tomfoolery in Visionland

`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

We beseech you, dear Watchers, to join us for another chapter in the tale of Antoinette in Visionland, where our heroine finds herself in the midst of a strange menagerie of Vision candidates wearing funny hats as she defends herself on charges of forging a document.

Even stranger, the King of the Vision court is wearing eye makeup and the Queen is wearing a funny Horizons hat, even though she hardly ever goes to Horizons meetings. (For the evidence of that, dear Watchers, please click here or see the post below). OFF WITH HER HEAD! we hear you shout.

Can this be the sort of ‘tomfoolery’ that caused an outbreak of tutting and tongue clicking in an editorial cutely titled Wrong Choices in today’s Chron(ic)? Of course, we at LawsWatch are reluctant to add to the distress of the House of Laws already caused by the public airing of the oh-so-delicate topic of Leonie Brookhammer’s ratepayer rip-off … distress so acute, in fact, that Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws was forced to breach his own policy of only talking about personal family matters in colour spreads in the Wimin’s Daze or the Sunday Crimes. There he is, on page 3 today, confiding in his buddy Mas that his children’s health may have had something to do with the fact that “Leonie had been unable to attend all those meetings”.

We would love to be able to report that Mas then had an acute attack of journalistic instinct and pointed out to readers that Brookhammer’s maternal obligations didn’t prevent her applying for and getting a Wellington-based job … but of course Mas was inoculated against all variants of Journalism Syndrome the day Mickey rode into town and infected him with a bad dose of Mayoral Love Disease. And that also presumably explains why he politely didn’t ask the Object of his Affection just why he and the mother of his oh-so-sick children still feel comfortable banking close to $90,000 worth of Horizons ratepayers’ dosh, under the circumstances.

We’re inclined to label the whole sorry tale the most immoral and corrupt facist act that we’ve witnessed in the last three years with Michael Laws as mayor .. but that line has already been taken by none other than our bold and fearless defender of democracy himself on today’s front page.

Neither did Mas probe just what sort of shock and horror prompted this comment in the ghost-written press release in the Brookhammer name that carried his byline the day before:

"I also believe that I have the experience and ability to make a greater contribution to Wanganui, closer to home," Cr Brookhammer said.

We are of course awash with empathy for her situation. It must be just awful to have to travel to Palmerston North to put in an appearance at every fourth meeting, in order to avoid being kicked off Horizons and losing the $1200 per meeting she’s been pulling in. So whatever new close to home ratepayer rort Mayor Michael has in mind, we’re sure she’ll not only stand by her man but ensure the House of Laws continues to receive it’s share of ratepayer or taxpayer funding.

Meanwhile, Watchers, we were somewhat amused by the antics of that venerable old rag Women’s Weekly which kicked up its heels, lifted its skirt, poured a nice sherry and engaged in a bit of risqué humour to celebrate its 75th birthday. Running photos of the eye-linered one and “courageous cancer battler” Jools Topp of Topp Twins fame, WW pointed out the uncanny resemblance.

Which prompted the Stuff gossip columnist to opine:

I'd say we blame Michael Laws for this fashion crossover and suggest he stop wearing so much eyeliner.

Here at LawsWatch we think it’s hardly fair on either Topp Twin to be compared with what TV One’s Monday satire show FaceLift more accurately referred to as “Wanganui’s poofter mayor”.