Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Dancing with the stars (in your eyes)

Much speculation round the Cave, Watchers, as to what tune Dotty could have been dancing to when pictured in the Chron yesterday. We all know Mickey is master of the two step, so the general consensus is that the Deputy Mayor might have been dancing to an altogether different tune. One composed, in fact, by one Michael Laws, and modeled on that old classic first made famous by Ferlin Husky & Jean Shephard way back in 1953, but probably in most people's memories thanks to a TV commercial for a brand of cassette tape.

Dear Dot, oh how I hate to write
Dear Dot, I must let you know what's what
That my love for you has died
because you’re such a silly clot
And I’m mayor for ever after, dear Dot

I was posing on TV when the truth did come to me
I’m sticking round in Wangas and I‘m happy as could be
Cause the fighting’s not all over and my wrecking’s not yet done
So sorry Dot I’ve changed my mind, I’m having too much fun.
Sod off now, don’t complain, cos I’ve got too much dirt
On you and all the rest of them, and girl, I’ll make you hurt

And it pains me so to tell you that my love for you is shot
So leave this town to Michael Laws, dear Dot

Occupying the minds of Watchers too was the unwittingly apocryphal nature of the Chron's "What Dot Learned" sidebar which, with only one minor edit, could so readily apply to the coming year or so sitting in the passenger seat as Mickey drives diVision headlong to disaster:

  • Step on your heels, not [other people's] toes
  • Smile
  • Don't look down
  • Lift your feet
  • Look like you're enjoying yourself
But above all else, Watchers, we think the photo above deserves a place in the infamous pantheon of LawsWatch caption contests. What could Deputy Dotty be thinking, or saying, as she's whisked around the dance floor? "Now I see why Michael was so keen for me to do this: I never get to lead" perhaps?

Comments on this post are now closed.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Once upon a Wednesday clear SallyLocks and the Three Bears (Nicki Bear and Dotty Bear and Richard Bear) all trudged up the hill to the big white house with the funny roof.

They left the Big Bad Wolf at home (even though he wanted to dress up and pretend to be Edith Collier) but as they bounced merrily across the lawns and up the steps they found lots of pretty mushrooms.

“They must be Magic Mushrooms,” squealed Nicki Bear. “Let’s eat lots and lots of them and then we will really believe the people all like us and that they share our vision, even if it is all blurry and fuzzy and really naïve.”

When they got to the big white house with the funny roof, SallyLocks and the Three Bears all sat down to a huge dish of humble pie while lots of real human people watched with big smiles on their faces and wondered when the Magic Mushrooms would wear off.

Now children, off you go. It’s time for bed.

Anonymous said...

As an observer of last night’s meeting it seems unfortunate that the remarks by Ms Dalgleish appearing in this morning’s paper give the impression that the gallery’s problems begin and end with the mayor. However, the real issue is with the “yes” men and women who still cling to his emperor’s new coat-tails and willingly do what is required of them, despite the damaging consequences for the city and its institutions.

At that meeting were stalwart members of the Vision team led by Cr Higgie and with Cr Wills, as always, wearing Vision kit. Cr McKinnon’s husband is simply Vision in civvies and she herself was there on the reserves benches, presumably so she wouldn’t score any more own goals. Sally Patrick has also shown she knows how to play the Vision game.

To continue the sporting metaphor, there will never be a level playing field while these people control the game. If Cr Higgie wants to engender the trust of anyone she deals with, she should fill that blank piece of paper with her resignation from Vision and hand it to her captain by close of play today.

Anonymous said...

How strange that Dotty should attribute her recent weight loss to dancing with the stars. She obviously lost a pound or two of brain mass, if she ever had it, when she first hooked up with Mickey and Bob.

Anonymous said...

Dotty says!!!
One of our largest projects looming is the construction of the wastewater treatment plant near the airport. This is a massive project, costing in the vicinity of $14 million!

Yes, but not to worry because as Mickey would say, it’s not great and it’s not as great as if we did nothing.

Anonymous said...

Who are those two whinging whining wallies in today's paper?

On the front page we have our First Wallie M Laws whinging and whining and moaning and groaning about the hospital getting $30 million.

On page four we have M Laws ole buddy Chester Burrows whinging and whining and moaning and groaning that:

"The punitive nature of this Labour Govt means that if you speak up, you run the risk of being cut off at the knees and this often results in providers keeping very quiet ... in case they get the chop."

Really, Chester? Look at the couple of excellent letters right next door to your piece of spin if you need reminding that democracy and freedom of speech are far more at risk in your own backyard than they'll ever be Wellington.

And the next time you're talking to Wanganui-based volunteers and community groups ask them what they think of the state of democracy in a town where the mayor and daily paper publicly heap abuse on anyone who speaks up against any aspect of his Glorious Reich.

You could also talk to some of the museum people about why the mayor leapt up and proposed slashing the museum's funding recently.

Face it, Chester, you're a big part of the problem.

Anonymous said...

Cation competition:
Dotty: "Don't I look like a million dollars?"
Patner: "Yeah, all greasy and crumpled."

Actually, she looks incredibly like the Wizard of Oz scarecrow in that picture....

Anonymous said...

Further to anon at 8:48 am.

The problem with Mickey is not that he's abusive; the problem is that he's corrupt, and he has corrupted the democratic process in Wanganui, as last night's meeting showed quite clearly.

No-one in the community who cares about the Gallery has any time for Vision bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Quite a conspiracy now then. The mayor, sundry prominent Wanganui cits, the Chronicle editor, the RCP and now Chester Borrows MP too.
Is it invasion of the bodysnatchers and do we call for help for just accept the inevitable? Jodie Dalgleish on last night's performance (Matt, she treated you wrong) must also be part of the conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

No-one in the community who cares about the Gallery has any time for Vision bullshit.

********

The gallery is just a microcosm of much of Wanganui. Take away the split vote and it was clear in February that Vision b/s goes only so far.

Anonymous said...

CAPTION SUBMISSION:
“Gosh, I haven’t smiled so much since that hilarious meeting when the girls and I giggled ourselves silly about that Professor Phard fellow who died. I still don’t know why Michael didn’t see the joke when I wrote all about it in my column.”

Anonymous said...

Some divisive loser said:

"Jodie Dalgleish on last night's performance"

Bullshit. I doubt you were even there if that's what you took from that meeting.

The issues this community wants to address weren't even on the agenda last night.

Anonymous said...

Who spotted Nigel Morris in the picture this morning, skulking at the back of the room with his nose in a book and trying to pretend that he was somewhere else?

Perhaps he was reading the diVision manifesto on world arts domination, with margin notes by Mickey, and wondering why it was all turning to custard.

With him was the Winc guy and it must have been a bit of an eye-opener for him to see a bit of grassroots democracy in action.

Looks like the next move in Mickey's plan is for WINC to take over the Sarjeant.

Anonymous said...

When RL Stevenson meets Charles Dickens:

Mayor Hyde:
Mayor grizzles about hospital only getting $30 million

Mayor Jekyll:
Mayor welcomes $22,000 for Upokongaro Jetty

Mayor Uriah Heep:
Mayor Laws said he appreciated the contribution of Whanganui List MP Jill Pettis to the final outcome.

Anonymous said...

After all Mickey’s finger pointing at Colin Whitlock over the previous harbour shambles, it would seem the current CEO and new boy network at the port is no better. Go Tuffy!

Anonymous said...

Poor Michael must have somebody standing on his typing fingers. How else to explain the lack of abusive news releases about Wednesday’s little gallery rebellion.