Same crap, different day
It's late at the Cave, so we figured you deserved a bedtime story.
One day little Dotty and her friend (we'll call him Mickey) were going through the bills they had to pay to keep their clubhouse running.
"Good grief!" shrieked Mickey, waving a bill from the plumber. "That's outrageous!! It's scandalous!! These people need to be brought to heel, investigated, pilloried in the town square!! No one should charge these sorts of prices for plumbing and get away with it! Thank goodness I wasn't Club President when the plumber was called," he hastily added, knowing full well that he'd have had to call them anyway.
"But Mickey," asked little Dotty, hoping that if she asked the right question she would, as usual, be rewarded with a lollipop, "isn't plumbing essential? Everyone needs to use it after all, even if not everyone spends up on three ply. Surely the other club members will realise that?"
"No!" yelled Mickey, searching his pockets for his mobile to call his friend Johnny and get him to print rude things on toilet walls about the people who did the plumbing. "Our friends shouldn't have to pay a lot for the clubhouse. Those poor, long suffering people... my people... look Dotty, can you see just the hint of a tear forming right there, in the corner of my eye?"
Dotty never liked looking Michael in the eye, but she nodded anyway and pretended she agreed. That was always enough for Mickey, anyway.
"The last thing I wanted to do," said Mickey, practising his indignation for when the other members arrived, "was burden people with increased club membership fees, not just this year but every year. How will I sleep at nights?!"
"With a picture of yourself on the bedside table, like you always do," said Dotty, and then wondered if that wasn't actually one of those rhetorical questions Mickey kept warning her not to answer. His glance suggested she was right.
"I'll simply explain to everyone that the extra expense is unavoidable," Mickey continued. "Like you said Dotty, plumbing is essential. We need it in the clubhouse and it wasn't even my fault that this greedy plumber was hired. If it wasn't for that, we would have to raise the membership fees. I'm sure I'll be forgiven".
"Yes Mickey!" Dotty cried, jumping up and down but making sure to keep her knees demurely together. "And who will we tell them is to blame for that other big bill, the one for the new swimming pool you wanted? That's about the same amount, isn't it, that you borrowed off those big boys in the city? Actually, if you hadn't ordered a new pool, wouldn't our friends have to pay no extra at all?"
An hour or so later, after she woke up, Dotty realised that Mickey hadn't meant to hit her on the head with the president's gavel.
Like all bedtime stories this is, of course, entirely fantasy.
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15 comments:
A good indication of the quality of our representation is Councillor Higgie saying she doesn’t give a bugger what happens to the Montgomery Reserve because she hardly ever goes past it.
Let’s hope it’s not too long before some enlightened bureaucrat decides a certain part of Fordell right beside this councillor's little idyll is just right for a wayward boys home or new rubbish dump.
I guess no one would give a bugger because hardly anyone except Higgie and her visitors ever go there. And she certainly could expect her diVision friends to save her ... or could she?
This woman is such a waste of space .. . everytime she opens her mouth she puts her foot in it. Why doesn't she just say she knows and cares nothing about the issue at stake but will just vote the way the mayor tells her? She might even win a bit of grudging respect for coming clean.
Will somebody please introduce “Deputy” Dotty (page 2 of today’s River City Press) to “Astounding” Medium Jeanette (on Page 5 of the same illustrious journal).
Or at the very least, give Dense Dotty one of the “free” tickets to Astounding Jeanette’s show that were used to suck RCP into giving her space for this delicious piece of free page 5 crap.
Astounding Jeanette is the one who promises to “help you objectively assess your current perception of reality and then gives you a series of exercises that are designed to give you new insights and help you to expand your own awareness … before you know it you are awakening to who you truly are”!!!!
And couldn’t Dotty do with a bit of reality!!! Even if it is of the kind pedalled by the Mad Medium!!! Here she is:
“As for the rest of the (LTCCP) deliberations, I think council did well” or this … “I must confess that he (ballroom bumbler Rodney Hide) is entertaining. Tv ratings for that show will plummet when he does”. Does what, exactly Dotty?
It’s a pity the Spin Fairy (aka Useless C) is riding the heights of journalistic greatness in MidWeak. Hey Mickey, Dotty and the Dwarves need Helen!!! Badly!!! Perhaps you should make her an offer she can’t refuse to come back and clean up this sort of crapola.!!
Oh well, as Dotty would say, perhaps they should just “Wrap up these cold winter days!!!”
Is the spin fairy working for the midweek? I must admit that I put that and the RCP straight in the bin (why don't they respect the 'no jumk mail sign'?).
Bit of a come down for the girl who continually mocked Wangas and yawned at us in comparison to Wellington.
anony ... Bit of a come down for the girl who continually mocked Wangas and yawned at us in comparison to Wellington.
****
Actually, after you've worked for Mickey, anything else has to be "up", even Midweek.
Does anyone know where that paragon of pollsters Antoinette Beck is plying her trade now?
This is a laugh. Mickey’s talkback rival, ZB’s Leighton Smith is interviewed by the Virtual Critic blogmeister. It seems Smith is unbothered by the threat Laws poses to his audience:
“Michael Laws is desperately trying to get some of my audience, and if you look at the figures you’ll see that,” he says. “The general term for that organisation now is ‘Radio Dead’.” This might be partly because listening to Laws’ programme is like watching from space as the issues of the day circle majestically in orbit around the huge, gaseous planet of Laws’ ego.
Oops! Yet another stuff-up by Mickey’s management "A team" has surfaced. This time it's property guy Rowan McGregor's turn to confess that “unfortunately, due to a mistake” about 30 properties were left off the list of sections to be flogged off which went out for that pesky consultation business.
Managers are being made to jump through hoops in order to satisfy visions demands. Nobody is beyond critisim but give it some thought before launching in with personal naming etc. You know how impossible/egotistical/tyrannical mickey is, you try working under that pressure. Just something to think about before hanging somebody else out to dry.
Good one re 30 more properties, that means there is even more property to sell, more money to be had, Splash Centre & River Walkway sooner than expected. Good news.
Can someone please explain where central government has said WDC has to cough up $75,000 a year for Mickey and Sam’s dad’s army community patrols?
The floor is yours, Mickey. Feel free to admit this is just another piece of transparent crap by the CEO as a bit player in Mickey’s game plan. You're among friends here.
Is Nicki Higgie a liar or just plain stupid? Or both?
‘With the new management structure our chief executive, Dr David Warburton, is developing, there will be a dedicated community development officer who will report to Sally Patrick, supporting the Community and Culture portfolio’ (N Higgie - Chron May 30).
“While it did look like there was a possibility, especially as there were two public announcements there would be a community development position established, in the end this came to nothing.” (R Hovey - Chron June 12)
Tee hee - someone at the Chron seems have retained their sense of irony, in placing the Quote of the Day right under Mickey’s mush on the letters page:
"Don't use the conduct of a fool as a precedent"
The Talmud is full of useful advice for dealing for fools like our mayor so perhaps next Monday they could use:
“If silence be good for the wise, how much better for fools”
Wonder who's been ghost-writing the CEO's letters in the Hovey case? Reading between the lines of the story this morning, it sounds like they have a distinctly mayoral "tone".
I see the Saturday Chronicle had a large rave about rising rates in Tauranga, in the real estate section. Looked like a "see how lucky you are in Wangas" PR piece...wonder who sent it to them ?
How come the mayoress is only offering $13.50 an hour for someone to clean up after Mickey when the CEO gets about $100 an hour for doing the same thing?
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