The 2006 Mad Mickeys

It seems Mickey is ending the year with an armful of awards.

First there was the "Cheeky Darkie" Award from TVNZ's Eating Media Lunch for his opportunistic post-mortem insult to the King of Tonga (Mickey having worked out that dead people can't sue, or punch you in the nose). Then the NZ Herald gave him a second award for the same insult, its readership citing the Tongan remarks as "The worst insult of 2006".

We were shocked that Mickey received the awards for that comment. We can only assume that the producers at TVNZ and readers of the Herald had forgotten that he used the death of the Kahui twins as fodder for a weak jibe at Britney Spears earlier this year, speculating that she possessed "the Kahui gene". Then again, it is surprisingly easy to forget A Game of Three Losers, when almost no one watched it to begin with.

However, a kind Watcher with access to the appropriate technology has managed to capture both these moments for posterity. Keep watching right the way through to be reminded of just how funny Mickey found the deaths of Cris and Cru Kahui.

But the accolades don't stop there. Mickey also makes it to the Herald's "Where it all went wrong" feature. Whereas other communities are noted as having suffered various natural disasters during the years - ill health in Hawkes Bay, smog in Christchurch, storms in Wellington and the Wairarapa - Mayor Michael Laws was Wanganui's only disaster.

While Mickey and his supporters like to portray his antics as somehow "putting Wanganui on the map" we note that he didn't make it to that same newspaper's "Brash and Beautiful" for the past year - just the list of disasters.

All of which got us to thinking... it's time Wanganui had it's own awards. And we're not just going to let you choose the nominees, but the categories too. Yes, it's time for Watchers to give a bit of acknowledgement for the key players in the Black Comedy of Mayor Mickey’s Mad Reign during 2006, so it's our pleasure to present: The 2006 Mad Mickeys.

To set the ball rolling, we nominate the following memorable moments and people. It’s now over to you Watchers, to challenge our choices and make your own nominations for these and any other categories you can think of. We haven’t begun to tap into the rich, toxic vein of Policy Failures, Mayoral Displays of Malice and Arrogance (towards his own Visionites, other councillors, staff, public, other mayors etc), Mayoral Publicity Stunts… pour yourselves a glass or two of New Years cheer, put your imagination to work and share your nominations with your fellow Watchers as comments on this post.

Best Public Dicking of Mad Mickey by a fellow "celebrity" (& eye-liner wearer): Lilith (aka Gareth Farr) telling Whanganui to "get rid of its f—king mayor" at the Bad Horse night.

Most Promising New Anti-Mickey Malcontents: The organisers of the King of Tonga Protest at Council.

Best Public Dicking of Mad Mayor Michael Laws on National Television: Mad Mickey himself for his meltdown at the King of Tonga Protest. Special commendations for Ray Stevens, TV3 and Eating Media Lunch (for giving us a delightful second helping in their best-of awards and consistently taking the piss during the year).

Best Impression of a Vision Loyalist by a Councillor Claiming to be Independent: Sue Westwood for her chairmanship of the first Heart meeting.

Best Impression of a Vision Loyalist by a Newspaper Claiming to be Independent (also known as the "Craven Mickey's Approval Award"): The successive, submissive, editors and editorial staff of the Wanganui Chronic.

Best Letter Writer: Ross Mitchell-Anyon (judges' note: unpredictable, inconsistent and sometimes borderline incoherent, but often delivering insightful and witty commentaries in just a few words).

Best Protester Putting Herself at Risk in the Line of Duty: Stalwart campaigner Delphine Turney getting up at 5am and climbing the condemned Avenue plane tree.

Most Prolific Contributor to LawsWatch: Mad Mickey for managing to spray us with large volumes of comments almost daily despite claiming to be excessively busy with mayoral, family and media commitments.

Most Sustained and Blatant Lie by Mad Mickey: His frequent "I am not the Mayor" rebuttals of claims that he’s responsible for the most sycophantic and nonsensical (but often loaded with 'inside' information) comments.

So cast your votes now, via comments. And we leave you with this happy New Year thought: it's less than 300 days till Election Day.

Comments on this post are now closed.