Post hoc, ergo propter hoc

Yes, the River Queen 'premiere-that isn't' is nonetheless a splendid event. Given the startling ignorance displayed by some people *cough*Americans*cough* about the whereabouts of New Zealand despite the international success of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, it's doubtful that the spectacular scenery - surely the real star of the movie - will create the mini tourism boom hoped for by the Diva and most especially by Dotty (who needs to look up "conflict of interest" in a good encyclopedia before getting too excited about tourist-boosting events in her official capacity).

In fact, given the average movie-goer's intelligence (they are making another Rocky movie, after all - presumably titled "Rocky's Last Challenge - The Colostomy Bag") most would-be tourists will probably stay away in droves, figuring that if they're not kidnapped by marauding may-or-ees, they'll be spit roasted by an Orc.

But the movie was made here, it shows off the Whanganui River to good effect, and Wanganui can be justifiably proud of the result.

It's particularly appropriate that the three waka built for the film will be gifted to Whanganui iwi in recognition of their contribution. And exciting to note that Rangitihi continue to resonate long after the film - which is receiving at best luke warm reviews (Kiefer Sutherland's "atrocious Long John Silver accent" was a line Watchers particularly liked) - is forgotten. Unlike Invercargill's effort, The World's Fastest Indian, which is on track to become NZ's biggest domestic hit.

What's not nearly as splendid, but as inevitable as flies at a barbecue, is the hijacking of the red carpet by the likes of Helen Clark, Judith Tizard, Steve Maharey, and of course the Diva and the Dwarves. Perhaps we missed the bit in the movie where Samantha Morton bumps into a trio of Ministers and a prancing attention-seeking Mayor in her search for her son, but it seems to confused Watchers that these people had stuff-all to do with making the film, unless you count some tenuous connections to the Film Commission, which is independent in terms of what it funds anyway.

That won't, of course, prevent the obligatory fawning photographs in tomorrow's newspapers, handily appearing at a time when there's a buy-election happening. Perhaps they'll even manage to get their mugs on TV - and when he sees a camera, the Diva will set himself alight if it means getting in front of it.

The not-so-subliminal message, of course, is "look how great Wanganui is under diVision leadership, because we're having a movie premiere here". But it's a complete fallacy. The movie, and the premiere-that-isn't, would have happened no matter who was in power.

The economic spin-off effects are likely to be minimal or non-existent (where is that study that was meant to quantify those benefits, by the way?). In fact the net overall economic effect on Wanganui ratepayers is likely to be negative, since Council have funded this extravaganza with your money - supposedly to a limit of $150,000, but the normally over-excitable Dotty is keeping very quiet on the exact bill - most of which ends up in the pocket of a Wellington events agency despite Council having its own events staffer.

So enjoy the fun, Wanganui, but when you wake up tomorrow morning, check your wallet - and reality.

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