Being a bunny at Easter
Much as we'd like to sneak round at night leaving a surprise on your doorstep (chocolate eggs for our readers, burning paper bags containing an unspecified substance for the Diva and DiVisionites) it sounds far too much like exercise, so here's some Easter cheer to keep you going over the long weekend.
First, a contribution from one of our readers, in keeping with the holy nature of the holiday. The difference between the Diva and God? God doesn't think he's the Diva.
Second, some of you may have missed the gem in last Saturday's Chron, buried at the bottom of a page three story explaining the DHB is going to do an "organisational assessment". It's not easy being a Missionary for Mickey, even at the DHB: Board member Philippa Baker-Hogan asked what an ideal organisation would look like and someone mentioned Wanganui District Council. This was followed by gales of laughter, and cries of "Order, order".
And if the phlegmatic outpourings of publicity-seeking wannabes in the Sunday Star Times don't fulfil your quota of weekemd reading, we'd recommend this article by Denis O'Reilly on the gang issue.
Called an "apologist" for the gangs by the Diva in his 5 March column, O'Reilly seems to be no such thing, echoing the point made by LawsWatch that:
The law around unlawful assembly gives the Police wide powers where three or more gang members are together. The Class A status of methamphetamine gives the Police almost free reign in terms of surveillance and entry. Proceeds of crime legislation enable ill gotten gains to be seized.O'Reilly also finds himself defending none other than the Diva's old mentor (no, not Winston, the other mentor) Robert Muldoon, described in the same column as an "appeaser" no less. O'Reilly quotes Muldoon in 1982 as saying:
These mindless bullies may well have had an unhappy childhood. So did many children of my generation during the Depression. That does not give them a licence to engage in gang warfare against the peaceful enjoyment of their fellow citizens."Mindless bullies"? Hardly sounds like appreasement. But then, even when it comes to people to whom he owes a tremendous amount, the Diva never lets the truth get in the way of a handy bit of self-aggrandisement.
While you're there, have a look round the NZEdge site - lots of good holiday reading.
Happy Easter, readers.
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22 comments:
STOP PRESS!!!
WDC NEWS RELEASE
RADIO LIVE BEATS MARGIN OF ERROR IN KEY AUCKLAND MARKET
Part time Whanganui mayor Michael Laws today said anyone who poured scorn on Radio Lifeless’s pathetic performance in the just released radio audience survey was just a trendy lefty bleeding heart liberal apologist for lowlife gang members, scumbag boy racers and hysterical property developers.
‘Obviously Aucklanders and people all round this deadbeat country are totally blind and stupid if they don’t get the message and tune in after seeing me on the backs of buses, billboards, tv and even in silly old Granny Herald,’ he said.
‘Madmouth’ Mickey Laws refused to divulge the ratings for his nine to noon rantings and said there was no point as most reporters couldn’t read or do arithmetic, and they wouldn’t understand that his popularity came from his force of personality and had nothing to do with who listened to him.
‘But if they could read, these negative ninnies would be stunned to see that Radio Live polled an amazing 2% share in Auckland and I’m telling them now that the margin of error is a whopping 1.6%. What’s more, that represents 39,800 listeners and as anyone who’s not a second rate reporter would know, that’s just 200 short of the magic 40,000 which everyone except them knows is the Holy Grail of broadcasting. It puts those idiots over at Newstalk to shame with their paltry 193,300.
‘And anyway my media chick listens to my whole show every day, Monday to Friday, and she says I’m just so cool and she doesn’t know what to do with her mornings at the weekend.’
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong anon!
The margin of error was 1.8%.
Especially for Michael:
Everytime when you're feeling important,
Everytime when your ego's in bloom,
Everytime when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified man in the room,
Everytime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how it humbles your soul.
Take a bucket and fill it with water
Dip your hand in it up to your wrist
Pull it out, and the hole that's remaining
Is a measure of how much you'll be missed.
You may splash all you like when you enter
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you'll find in a moment,
That it all looks quite the same as before.
There is no indispensable man.
The problem with the Diva's failing radio show is that he is more likely to run for another term. He will have no where to go.
Anonymous said...
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong anon!
**************
Tut! Tut! Tut!
Really, Michael is that the best you can do? What's happened to the rapier wit, the cut and thrust of talkback repartee, the lashings of mayoral abuse? We expect better, if you're going to take the time and trouble to lurk here, oh so anonymously (NOT!).
Didn't your mother tell you to always be nice to up to 1.6% in your case) because you can be sure you'll meet them again on your way down!!
Does anyone know if it’s too late to amend the LTCCP to provide a zillion bucks for WDC’s very own talkback radio show? Our mayor will be looking for a new outlet soon by the looks of things, and just imagine how he could put Whangas on the map with daily broadcasts straight from the first floor. As a cash strapped ratepayer I’d be pleased, nay proud, to contribute. In fact it’s such a great idea, I might even be willing to give up my dreams of a gold-plated water slide.
As for a suitable theme song for Radio Guyton, 101 and the Queen of the River City airwaves:
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio blah blah …
Any better ideas, anyone???
Anybody looking for a nice chuckle should read Fred Frederikse giving the mayoral tit a good pull in this morning's Chron on the letters page. Well it's also the editorial page but Mr Maslin is as usual hiding in a fog of denial and continues to steadfastly NOT MENTION THE WAR (in case Michael growls at him again).
I hate to piss on peoples parades here but talk radio has a long gestation just like TV news. Canwest have signalled that it will take 5 years for Radio Live to be close to challenging Newstalk ZB and thats about the timre it took TV3 News to get on the same sheet and Newstalk ZB to establish their profile. The metro ratings also don't factor in the provinces in April - they come in October so we'll have to wait 6 months to compare apples with apples.
But that isn't the worst of it if you're a Diva opponent. Radio Live, according to CanWest's annual report, is already in profit and that means the station is doing a lot better than most would think. They're not going to be pulling the pin there anytime soon.
After seeing in today's sunday paper the story about how it takes soooo long for extra thick dunny paper to break down, it's probably safe to assume that those who insist on wiping their precious little mayoral arses with 3-ply are putting a disproportionate load on the Wanganui sewerage system.
So in the Visonary spirit of user-pays, I'd like to suggest a special levy on three-ply users so the rest of us struggling, stoical ratepayers don't have to subidise the precious habits of the (self) chosen few.
Now, where's that LTTCP mailout spin with its submission form?
blah blah blah ... They're not going to be pulling the pin there anytime soon....
10:31 AM, April 16, 2006
*******
Thanks, Mickey, for this regurgitation of your little lecture here on the economics of talkbalk radio six months ago.
NOW HOW ABOUT CUTTING OUT THE CRAP AND SHARING WITH THE WATCHERS THE NUMBERS ON HOW YOU FARED THIS TIME ROUND?
(oh and Michael, be sure your lies will find you out - Your Mother)
Sorry sport but i posted the radio ratings information and the previous posters paranoia is amazing. As a vet of radio for the past 35 years I was trying to enlighten the idiots here.
YOU ARE A WANKER ... feel better shouting do we, little man?
Isn't Radio Live a national talkback, not an Auckland talkback? It's not comparing oranges with oranges is it? I thought Leighton Smith was confined just to Auckland's radio market - we don't hear him down here.
Anon said
" I hate to piss on peoples parades here but talk radio has a long gestation just like TV news. Canwest have signalled that it will take 5 years for Radio Live to be close to challenging Newstalk ZB and thats about the timre it took TV3 News to get on the same sheet and Newstalk ZB to establish"
Why do you think Canwest is bringing in all these new 'lefties'. Maybe poor old ML is just not relivent anymore.
Isn't it irrelevant how the mayor's radio show rates in Auckland? I would have thought his (and the council's) performance locally was more important. It is this blind ability to get sidetracked by non-issues that makes it so easy for this mayor to do what he likes and when.
Better give us a link to that CanWest report, "anon". I'm not calling you Michael Laws or anything, but how do we know you're not lying through your teeth?
'Investment in initiatives such as Campbell Live and Radio Live, important long-term strategies for the Company, also contributed to the increase in the cost of programming,” said Tom Strike, the Company’s Chair of the Board.'
Rome burns while Laws Watch fiddles.
No ... LawsWatch burns while Rome fiddles.
Isn't it irrelevant how the mayor's radio show rates in Auckland?
---------
Very well said anon.
Who gives a flying fart how the radio ratings are doing? I thought this site was established to monitor his ability as Mayor not attack his career/family/dress sense etc out of pure bitterness.
Anonymous said...
Rome burns while Laws Watch fiddles.
7:29 AM, April 18, 2006
______________________________________
Shouldn't that have been "Wanganui burns while Laws fiddles"
Who cares about the radio dead ratings.
You should be worrying more about what Laws is stuffing up in our Bloody Fine Town.
It seems impossible to get any idea from the LTCCP just how much this council is spending on "communications" ie spin.
Surely this is Mickey's REAL achievement. While his spin machines takes cheap shots at Horizons for not being out there enough about its plans, he hides the cost of this propoganda extravaganza somewhere between Wanganui Inc's secret agenda and the whole absurb secret LTCCP process.
The previous commenter was right.
Rome on the Whanganui is in trouble but this Caligula (aka Little Boots) will doubtless follow the path of his imperial predecessor, right to the end.
... His years as emperor were marked by erratic behavior and debauchery: Caligula ordered the deaths of enemies and friends alike, threw absurdly lavish parties, practiced incest with his sisters, and generally abused power while mishandling or ignoring affairs of state. He was assassinated in the year 41 by soldiers from his own Praetorian Guard.
According to the historian Suetonius, Caligula lavished his horse Incitatus with jewelry, built him a marble stall and planned to make him consul...
Surely Mickey's not that crazy, is he? What's that you say? Oh, yes he did pick Dotty the Donkey for Deputy.
Hi Wanganui It's nice to see your absentee mayor making a proper dick of himself again on tv. Holmes had the right idea -- give him a long distance pen for long distance governance and maybe he'll stay fulltime in Auckland (not that anyone there would want a bar of him)
"Also out on Thursday were the latest radio ratings ... To be honest, I think everyone will be disappointed" - ML Laws
************
As always, even when Mickey says he's being honest, he's bullshitting. The truth is that everyone at Radio Lifeless is not just disappointed, they're totally pissed off and very worried.
What they're busy proving is that no amount of promotional dollars can help save a talentless bunch of wallies like Mickey.
It's ironic to spend megabucks trying to get people to tune in then serving up this prat and turning them off quicker than you can say Laws is a Loser.
And no amount of spin here or anywhere else can alter the fact that the Big Auck is where the advertising dollars come from. That's where the careers of minor talkback wannabes are made or broken and this one is a goner, no matter how he tries to spin it.
PS: Funny how Mickey turned the first comment on this posting (STOP PRESS!!!) into the perfect self fulfilling prophesy. He couldn't help himself trying to spin the bad news in his e-coli and even took a nip at Newstalk. Now how predictable is that? Yawn.
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