The LawsWatch travel advisory II

A commenter has remonstrated with us that yesterday's graphic was just as insulting to the people of Whakatane as the Mayor's original comments. Well, no - we're sure Whakatane people realise it was meant as a good-natured joke, the butt (if you'll excuse the expression) of which was more the Diva than themselves.

But in the interests of balanced reporting, we have discovered that not only do we need to warn Wanganui residents about the likely behaviour of inhabitants of another town, but that we also need to warn the rest of NZ about visitors from Wanganui.

From the Nelson Evening Mail of 27 December:

Driving passion interrupted

Nelson police are taking action against a Wanganui couple for taking the spirit of giving a little too far on Christmas Eve.

Sergeant Shane Miles said the pair were stopped by police on Haven Rd at 2.30am after they were noticed both seated behind the steering wheel of a car - the woman in the man's lap.

Mr Miles said the couple still had their trousers undone but the woman had returned to her own seat when the officer approached the vehicle.

The man was asked why he was driving with the woman on his lap. Before he had time to answer, his passenger replied; "Come on officer, it's Christmas - a time for giving". The amusing reply didn't change the fact that this was an "incredibly stupid and potentially dangerous thing to do", Mr Miles said.

"Unfortunately, police see too many people taking things too far at this time of the year. They think they are having harmless fun but the potential for danger is actually quite high."

A 21-year-old Wanganui man has been charged with careless driving but may not have to appear in court if he pleads guilty by letter. His 20-year-old passenger was fined for not wearing a seatbelt.

The phrase "discussing the Ugandan situation" became a euphemism for having sex with a woman other than one's wife when Private Eye revealed that a married British Cabinet Minister and a young lady had descended the stairs during a party, both looking flushed and dishevelled, and the Minister explained that they had, in fact, been discussing the situation in that African state.

We'd therefore encourage Watchers to start using the term "visitors from Wanganui" to describe anyone caught bonking in public, thus ensuring that LawsWatch makes some sort of worthwhile lasting contribution to the social milleu.

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