An increase in the quantum of postings

As the Diva constantly reminds us, the Long Term Council Community Plan (LTCCP) is a crucial document. While he bemoans having to actually be accountable to anyone for planning what baubles he wants to spend money on in future, he he does acknowledge its importance as a blueprint for rates and expenditure (and thus service levels) for the next ten years.

"How we are supposed to predict events 10 years out is a bit beyond me, but we are making an attempt," the Diva assured anxious ratepayers back in February. "However, we are mandated to carry out this planning, so we are taking it seriously. Once the process is complete, we will all... sigh with relief." We're willing to wager that if the chairman of a company in which you had a substantial investment issued a report to shareholders saying "Gosh, expecting us to plan for the next ten years is a bit much. We'll be glad when it's over (and we can all get back to playing golf)" you'd be on the phone to your broker yelling "Sell, sell sell!!"

Of course, with such steady and reassuring hands on the financial tiller, we don't need to know the messy details like actual figures. Goodness no. When Nickie, Muzza, Dotty and Mickey cast their eyes over a balance sheet with lots of zeroes, they instantly know what's wrong and what needs to be done. Which probably amounts to "ignore it and it'll go away", "give it a dishwasher", "giggle inanely" and "throw a massive tantrum and blame someone else" respectively.

One group who are going to find out exactly what the bottom line is are Council staff. Back in February, in a press release entitled "Council must tell the truth & take responsibility for our actions" (and you think the Diva has no sense of humour!!) he flagged "a drop in the quantum amount of staff salaries".

If he achieves nothing else, he's added a new phrase to the growing lexicon for "sacking people for no reason other than that we can't figure out how else to save the sinking ship". Soon Telecom executives will no longer speak (over long lunches of lobster and champagne) of "downsizing" superfluous lackeys such as technicians and installers and people who answer faults calls, but of "a drop in the quantum amount of staff salaries".

It may well be, as some commenters opine, that staff cutbacks are both inevitable and positive. Given that the majority of staff positions exist to provide services to ratepayers, we'd be a little more cautious in our assessment. But we - and you, and anyone else not sat round the Council table and thus seemingly blessed with omnipotent foresight - simply don't know. But we can surmise that one of the figures they're not too keen on getting into the public domain is how much provision has been made for redundancies.

Appparently the Audit Office is due to respond this Friday to the Top Secret draft LTCCP. There seems to be some apprehension at Guyton St about this, especially the Auditor General's possible reaction to Council's subsequent resolution to not have a balanced budget. Whatever it is, we await the Diva's full and unvarnished disclosure. After all, Council must tell the truth and take responsibility for their actions. Right, Mickey?

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