Is that a candidate in your pocket, or...?

While he's big enough to take care of himself without Watchers coming to his aid, we're a little puzzled by the amount of mud being slung at Morgs Hunter-Bell over his non-showing in the buy-election.

The crux of this particular matter, we believe, is that according to Morgs:

"Before The Chronicle saw, before LawsWatch woke up that day, Michael Laws read my announcement and emailed me offering to pay my nomination fee".

This tells us two things:

1. Not content with having one official declared candidate in the race (Phillipa Baker-Hogan), the Diva was taking a keen interest in other candidates, particularly, it seems, those with whom he thought he could wield some influence.
2. If he made such an approach to one candidate, chances are that similar offers of some form of support may have been made to others. It's time, perhaps, that all candidates made some sort of statement as to what, if any, assistance they have opted to receive from the Mayor.

Despite being, on his own admission, virtually penniless, Morgs turned down that offer and thereby lost a chance to run for office. He could have accepted and, as the rules stand at present, never disclosed that he had. He could also have kept silent about the offer even though he didn't accept. Given that we're about trying to bring some openness and accountability to Wanganui politics, we can only commend his actions. It's clear that the Diva agrees with some commenters that Morgs would have been a "clone" had he been elected (or he wouldn't have offered his support) but on the strength of his actions to date it's possible they're wrong.

But this isn't about Morgs. He's not a candidate and we wish him luck with whatever influence he can bring to bear with the various youth initiatives with which he's involved. It's about the way politics is played in Wanganui.

Of course the Lawsmob (or the Diva himself in one of his anonymous guises) will no doubt attempt to justify this by saying that increasing the field of candidates improves the choice available to voters. Or something. Which handily overlooks the point that if many of the people standing for election are in fact doing so with the implicit backing of the Mayor whilst failing to disclose that fact that's not aiding democracy, that's perverting it. And while all we're aware of at present is a relatively paltry $200, to someone without a job $200 is a lot of money. One can only speculate as to how beholden someone in Morgs's position may have felt, or whether any further support would have been forthcoming.

If a trainer wants to have more than one horse in a race, that's fine - so long as the jockeys wear their colours openly so people are aware of their connections. Otherwise the race is potentially open to fixing.

But this is the way politics is now done in Wanganui, and it's reminiscent of Hawkes Bay in the 1990s. Back then, the Diva decided to take his bread and circuses formula to the poor, downtrodden inhabitants of Flaxmere. He fixed on their need for a high school and set out to win their hearts and minds.

But the whole thing got caught up in education politics and the Diva found he "would need to revert to blackmail to secure the victory". On page 256 of "The Demon Profession" he explains how he successfully dealt with obstacles put in his way by then Education Minister Lockwood Smith:

My only regret was that I could not claim any public credit for fear of exposing the deceit, blackmail and general lack of good faith in my manoeuvrings. But a deal was a deal. And sometimes one must do evil to achieve good. In that one moment I had become entirely corrupted by the political process. All my public platitudes about honesty and accountability had been seared away by a mixture of self-interest and sentimentality.

The theme appears even earlier, on page 236 (dealing with how he decided to overcame his principles and stood for re-election under the National Party banner):

Dostoevsky was right, the ends do justify the means. That is the thing about politics. You can fake sincerity so plausibly because the first person you con is yourself.

Sadly, though, the con doesn't end there, as many of the comments on this blog demonstrate. We're often accused of being automatically against anything done by the Mayor, and let's accept for a moment that's correct. If so, that's far less a danger to democracy than those who unquestioningly accept every piece of spin from Guyton Street and fawn over their "celebrity" Mayor in public, in the newspapers (which in the case of the RCP at least, a leading lickspittle actually edits) and in comments to this blog. Because without close scrutiny even the fairest and most honest administration can make mistakes and even, possibly, become corrupt. And with an avowed believer that "the ends justify the means" elected to the town's highest office, the possibilty of that occuring can only be heightened.

We wish a Happy New Year to the hardworking toilers in the Chron newsroom, to the set-upon souls at Guyton Street and of course to all our readers, and hope that for some at least their resolutions will include that the scales fall from their eyes in 2006.

Comments on this post are now closed.

The LawsWatch travel advisory II

A commenter has remonstrated with us that yesterday's graphic was just as insulting to the people of Whakatane as the Mayor's original comments. Well, no - we're sure Whakatane people realise it was meant as a good-natured joke, the butt (if you'll excuse the expression) of which was more the Diva than themselves.

But in the interests of balanced reporting, we have discovered that not only do we need to warn Wanganui residents about the likely behaviour of inhabitants of another town, but that we also need to warn the rest of NZ about visitors from Wanganui.

From the Nelson Evening Mail of 27 December:

Driving passion interrupted

Nelson police are taking action against a Wanganui couple for taking the spirit of giving a little too far on Christmas Eve.

Sergeant Shane Miles said the pair were stopped by police on Haven Rd at 2.30am after they were noticed both seated behind the steering wheel of a car - the woman in the man's lap.

Mr Miles said the couple still had their trousers undone but the woman had returned to her own seat when the officer approached the vehicle.

The man was asked why he was driving with the woman on his lap. Before he had time to answer, his passenger replied; "Come on officer, it's Christmas - a time for giving". The amusing reply didn't change the fact that this was an "incredibly stupid and potentially dangerous thing to do", Mr Miles said.

"Unfortunately, police see too many people taking things too far at this time of the year. They think they are having harmless fun but the potential for danger is actually quite high."

A 21-year-old Wanganui man has been charged with careless driving but may not have to appear in court if he pleads guilty by letter. His 20-year-old passenger was fined for not wearing a seatbelt.

The phrase "discussing the Ugandan situation" became a euphemism for having sex with a woman other than one's wife when Private Eye revealed that a married British Cabinet Minister and a young lady had descended the stairs during a party, both looking flushed and dishevelled, and the Minister explained that they had, in fact, been discussing the situation in that African state.

We'd therefore encourage Watchers to start using the term "visitors from Wanganui" to describe anyone caught bonking in public, thus ensuring that LawsWatch makes some sort of worthwhile lasting contribution to the social milleu.

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The LawsWatch travel advisory

As part of our on-going commitment to the safety of Watchers over the holiday season, LawsWatch has decided to follow the example of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and issue our own "travel advisory" for Wanganui residents looking for a week or so of peace and quiet. Coming from an area publicly identified with the Diva is considered to be extremely high risk, and Watchers are advised to plan safer holiday alternatives, such as a farmstay in lovely Chernobyl or perhaps caving in Afghanistan.

Ohope Beach, while highly desirable at this time of year, is obviously an extreme risk. And beware of stopping in at genetically deficient Raetihi for fuel. Any items linking you to Wanganui (LawsWatch daks, for instance) should be removed before entering Christchurch (high risk as the Diva-annointed white trash capital) along with Murupara and Stratford and Dannevirke who have also come in for a slagging.

In fact caution should be exercised when passing through anywhere capable of receiving a television signal, as these areas are probably hostile and dangerous on account of the likes of Celebrity Treasure Island, a Game of Three Losers etc.

Any Watchers finding themselves inadvertently in Whakatane should call the LawsWatch cave to arrange for an immediate airlift.

After calling Whakatane the "trash capital of New Zealand" the Diva bravely refused to be interviewed by the Whakatane Beacon, to front up in the town, or to discuss the matter with local iwi, who famously said they could "see through the mist" that the Diva was talking about Maori and demanded an apology.

It seems, however, that not all residents of Whakatane are busy growing marijuana, collecting benefits, drinking beer and beating their spouses and have in fact found time to pen some fairly articulate rebuttals to the Beacon's letters page. Here's a couple of examples:

Regarding the Beacon front page story about Michael Laws' attack on Whakatane. Michael Laws is a self-opinionated person who couldn't hack it in Parliament. In his talkback programme he cuts off people who don't agree with him and calls them idiots...

Ian Robson

I smile at Michael Laws' derogatory comments about Whakatance. He is only Wanganui's new part-time mayor and it seems that with his radio and peacock appearances he has just not had the time to tour his own fine city to find out just what he is in charge of. If he took the time to enter his city from the north, he would realise that he has got the two towns names mixed up.

Let me explain. As you enter Wanganui from the town boundary to the Aramaho rail bridge then back over to the east town, you will find an area of poorly-maintained state homes and units where I often see police cars. This is the Trash Capital Michael could be referring to...

I'm not knocking Wanganui - I love the place, have many friends anf family living there and spend a lot of time there...

As a ratepayer in both Wanganui and Whakatane, I have some advice for my new Wanganui mayor: Michael, you have bitten off more than you can chew on this one, so for once in your life pull your head in or you will be a one-term mayor.

Richard Valentine

The remainder of Mr Valentine's letter points out some of the other tourist attractions of Mayor Laws' perfect city such as Aramaho, Heads Road and the wharf area... so effectively Whakatane citizens have received their own travel advisory and would now probably rather visit Baghdad than Wanganui. We're sure the local tourist industry will appreciate the Diva's efforts to establish friendly diplomatic relations with other parts of the country. After all, having a high profile mayor is certainly "putting Wanganui on the map". Just for all the wrong reasons.

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A bad case of gas

Watchers, having realised that defending one's opinions whilst wearing a silly paper hat fools not even one's own slow-witted relatives, have been enjoying a well-earned break. Now the last of the festive bunting has been swept from the floor of the cave, we can take a bleary-eyed look back at events of the past few days.

Yes, wasn't Jimmy Barnes absolutely wonderful? Now perhaps the Mayor would care to promote the flagging career of some other pop star with your money. Milli Vanilli perhaps? They'd be a hit amongst diVision councillors, since they simply mouthed the words of someone else. Or Vanilla Ice maybe? His music career fizzled after 9 months, which makes him one of the few people whose 15 minutes of fame were shorter than the Diva's. Last heard of in October 2004, similarly clinging desperately to the notion of "celebrity" by appearing in a reality TV show in the UK called "The Farm", where celebrities have to run a farm. Used to clearing up muck, Vanilla (or is it Mr Ice?) could moonlight as an ancillary Spin Fairy.

And it took till the end of the year for Watchers to find a Councillor Comment with which they could wholeheartedly agree, so silly paper hats off to Councillor Rhandir Dhaya in this week's Midweek, who writes (on the topic of the referendumb and the proposal to abolish the rural ward):

However, heaven forbid, if the ward system is abolished and the mayor and councillors are elected district-wide the results will be more than just interesting. It may well come to pass that some councillors will get more votes than the mayor. Now wouldn't that be a hoot? The cock rooster will become a clucky chook or a bull elephant with small ears!

While we're struggling to avoid certain unpleasantness with the mental images some of those terms conjure when applied to the Diva (given the penchant for lycra shorts, we'd have thought some analogy relating to smuggled budgies more apt, in any case) we can only applaud the first bit of independent Councillor thought to burst into print anywhere all year.

Alas, after over-indulging in festive cheer Watchers have, in common no doubt with many of you, a bad case of gas. Those readers similarly afflicted - particularly if intending to travel overseas for holidays - might consider the "In-Flight Comfort Pillow" pictured above, guaranted to "absorb odour immediately and last for up to 12 months. We guess the precise lifespan depends on just how awful the in-flight catering is).

Alas the gas that's been troubling us is much larger - Wanganui Gas in fact, and the odd war of words that's erupted over it.

Seems the Diva's puppet-of-choice Ron Janes hadn't read the diVision playbook. Newly appointed as Chair of the Wanganui Gas board, he burst into print on December 22 saying the busines was "quite high risk", not the sort of thing ratepayers' money ought to be at risk in, and that at least part of it would inevitably need to be sold off to meet the Council's need for cash".

Perhaps it was the latter part of this admission that caused the backlash that followed. After all, the Diva has stated (and re-stated the day after Janes's comments appeared) that "any decision on the future of Wanganui Gas will be made by the Wanganui District Council and the public of Wanganui" - presumably via yet another ill-informed referendum during which people are asked to choose between various coloured baubles (swimming pools etc) and an option they don't fully understand and about which Council has done nothing to educate them.

Craftily getting into the story the quote that "the finances that this new council has inherited are extremely poor" and just happened to mention that "both the last council and this had made decisions to sell land and property that were not returning a dividend". Quite a masterful piece of spin, really, completely overlooking the fact that it's this Council who, knowing full well the financial mess the district is in, just plunged it into $2.6 million more debt. And hinting that, sadly, more assets might just have to be sold. Wonder what that might include?

Janes clearly wasn't meant to have broken the cosy closed-meeting decision-making practised by the Diva and blabbed the plan in public right before Christmas, thus potentially raining on the parade of Mayoral Mile, Jimmy Barnes etc etc and jeopardising the chances of hand-picked diVision candidate Phillipa Baker-Hogan in the buy-election.

Just in case Ron hadn't got the message, the ever-loyal Muzza Hughes had a slap at him in the Chronicle this morning. Janes's "timing was poor", Muzza said. He even intimated that Ron, once the apple of the Diva's eye, was trying to shaft poor Phillipa, implying that a Vision-controlled council would "sell the family silver". Heavens no. Maybe just the gas heater that keeps poor old granny warm. Then she can sell the silver to pay the gas bill.

Bread and circuses before the vote, Ron, cold hard reality up them after. Try to get it right in future.

Surprisingly, Janes came back with some mist-dispelling points of his own, stating that "the debate is not about the [gas] company, it is about the numerous other demands on the Council". Precisely. Well, sort of - any debate on the sale of Wanganui Gas is about the company, but it's about what the Council wants the money for too.

As they say, we haven't heard the last of this.

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Scratched

Well it seems Morgs Hunter-Bell's flirtation with politics is over as quickly as it began, with his nomination never making it to the Council's electoral officer. A race with so many candidates was more expensive to run than one with three, he said. Though we're not entirely sure how that arithmetic works, we must admit to a pang of regret here in the LawsWatch cave. Morgs is always willing to front up and be accountable even when, since he's not an elected official, he doesn't have to. And his campaign would have been the most entertaining of the race, of that we're sure.

Money is, of course, a significant issue for those considering a run for local office - especially since, unlike in a General Election, candidates can pretty much spend whatever they like. The Diva's oft-repeated preferred option, of having unpaid councillors, only places an ever greater barrier in front of those who work for a living or who, like stay-at-home parents, the unemployed, the disabled or the retired - may be on fixed incomes. But then that's democracy Diva-style.

In sharp contrast to Morgs, Tuffy Churton is one of two late-comers to the Rural Community Board line-up, the other being rural real estate agent Clive Gibbard. Mr Churton, Watchers will remember, displayed a distinct unwillingness to answer questions put to him over the Port of Wanganui issue earlier this year.

Aside from that, the line-up is as per our previous post. All the WDC candidates either have, or will shortly, receive their invitations to participate in the LawsWatch Buy-Election Blog, coming soon to a website near you.

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Armageddon it yet?

While not everyone agrees with our assessment of Ms Baker-Hogan's motives for entering the Buy-Election race, we're not even going to begin to speculate on those of one of the latest entrants, former MP Rana Waitai.

There are few people who know so well the way the Diva plays politics as a former member of the NZ First caucus. In fact even before he was elected, Waitai and the other Maori seat MPs, led by Tau Henare, were awake to the Diva's ways and determined to rid themselves and the caucus of his influence.

At the first caucus meeting following the 1996 election and they walked in to find the Diva seated at the table, expecting to pull the strings. After all, the majority of MPs owed their list placings, and thus their place at that table, to his machinations. People like Deborah Morris, Anne Batten and Robyn McDonald - unknown in the party till their list rank catapauled them into Parliament - knew the bargain they'd struck was to implement the Diva's whim in return for his gerrymandering the party list.

But Waitai, along with Henare, Tu Wyllie, Tuku Morgan and Tuariki Delamere had won their electorate seats and were beholden to no one. Cue the first of many confrontations with Winston Peters, during which the "Tight Five", as they'd later become known, demanded anyone not in the caucus be ejected from caucus meetings. Partly because that played to Peters' innate belief that constituency MPs were a cut above list MPs (an opinion we bet he's busily revising now), they won. The Diva left the meeting and, seeing the Te Reo on the wall, shortly thereafter decided a career writing books might be more to his liking.

While Waitai's association with the "Tight Five" - and in particular some of their more immature antics - damaged his reputation (Russell Brown, somewhat unfairly we think, called him both "dimwitted" and a "dickhead"), Waitai's pre- and post-Parliamentary reputations (as a police district commander and a barrister respectively) have shown him to be a man of some substance.

So what does he think he's doing, seeking a seat at a Council table controlled by the Diva and around which sit a majority of people who are prepared to do as Morris et al did and sing the Diva's tune? It will be interesting to see whether Waitai's pre-NZ First popularity with the blue rinse set - for many of the same reasons they once loved Winston - and with local Maori is enough to get him over the line in a crowded field. If it is, watch for fireworks next year.

Meanwhile, Rural Community Board candidate Greg Cox may be the best qualified yet. His business skills equip him to deal with the Diva's financial trainwreck and he's a muffler and exhaust specialist, which, considering the Diva needs muffling but it's a somewhat exhausting task, equips him perfectly.

His rival Alan Taylor, standing on the Vision ticket, is up there with Bob Walker in his mastery of the diVision policies of abusing doubters and sucking up to the Diva. And he actually managed to achieve last in the rural ward election behind the stellar line up of McGregor and Stevens - and even placed below Higgie.

So there's nine in the race for Council, an interesting field about which we'll have more to say later. They are (in no particular order):

• Rana Waitai
• Margaret Campion
• Bren Sinclair
• Philippa Baker-Hogan (Vision)
• Chandra Osborne
• Heather Marion Smith
• Mark Simmonds
• Allan Anderson
• Morgan Hunter-Bell

And now that nominations have closed, let us say we agree wholeheartedly with the Diva on one thing. The candidates - all of them - deserve praise for putting their names forward and thus ensuring that democracy flourishes. Throughout the lead-up to today, however, he's made his desperation for an "arts candidate" obvious. Wanganui needs an "arts candidate" like it needs a "sports candidate" or a "business candidate" - in other words, not at all. Councillors are elected to represent us all, and the ideal Councillor should have a broad range of interests and an ability to fairly balance competing needs.

We'd point out yet again that LawsWatch, for its part, isn't run by artists. True some Watchers are artists, but some are culturally ignorant philistines and damn proud of it. Others merely stroll around the occasional gallery and, like most people, don't know much about art but know what we like. Much as he and his two subsidised staff try to make this about art, or the Sarjeant, or any other mist they can generate on the day, it's about Michael Laws and his performance as Mayor, and the performance of those who support and oppose him in elected and politically appointed office.

For instance, the whiff of hypocrisy in his remarks - the latest being his letter to the editor in the Chron - praising those who would stand for election as showing "real community spirit and personal enterprise".

This from the man who has spent the last year slagging off anyone who gets involved with local government (including several Sunday Star-Times columns and most recently at the Federated Farmers dump) now turn round and tell the world they're imbued with "a mix of courage and passion - and those are exactlythe qualities that council is looking for".

Local government entices fringe activists, conspiracy theorists, the unrequited ambitious and busybodies like no other aspect of human endeavour. Knew that before I stood for mayor, and haven't been disappointed. Which explains a number of things;

1. The 'gliding on' mentality that pervades local govt bureaucracy
2. A disincentive for the intelligent and able to stand for office

Of course none of this may matter if another letter writer is correct. Denis Anderson seems to be implying we're all about to be hit by a comet hurtling towards earth. Sounds to us like the scriptwriter of Armageddon was remarkably prescient. Or that the editor will publish any mad rant on his letters page. But that can't be right - Anderson's prediction is right next to a letter from the Diva.

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Give someone the boot this Christmas

Seems the Running Cowards Press are so eager to end their symphony of sycophancy to the Diva on a high note that they've had to invent a hitherto non-existent "Person of the Year" award so they can give it to him.

The idea is, of course, an entirely unimaginative lift straight from the pages of Time Magazine, who've been doing it since 1927. This year they handed it to Bono - a longhaired musician whose contribution is apparently to foist angst onto others - and Bill and Melinda Gates, who have made lots of money through the sale of software that is riddled with bugs and security flaws and is thus responsible for the promulgation of every worm, virus and autodialler on the net (and much of it's spam, which relies on security holes in Outlook) but who endeavour to mitigate the searing hatred of most of the world's PC users by giving away a portion of their riches. Not enough to affect their lifestyle, of course.

Still, at least these three people have wrought some change for good, albeit at no real personal cost. Previous "People of the Year" have included Adolf Hitler, Ayatollah Khomeini, Joe Stalin, John Foster Dulles, Richard Nixon (twice!), George H W Bush and George W Bush (twice!) about whom the same can hardly be said.

So the Diva enters a pantheon of dictators, tyrants and dimwits, only Time seems to have overlooked him so he has to be content with the local birdcage liner. No public votes were cast for RCP's Person of the Year, so it has less cachet than a Womans Daze People's Choice Award at the Quantas Television Awards (from which a Game of Three Losers was stunningly omitted from mention).

Thus we hereby open the LawsWatch People's "Choice, Eh Bro" Awards, wherein you get to choose not only the recipients but the title of the award they receive. The person receiving the most nominations will be granted the singular honour of becoming the inaugural recipient of the LawsWatch Golden Gumboot.

Speculation on the RCP's 2006 "Person of the Year" is also welcome. We'd like to get in early and nominate Frog, for services to the Wanganui/Manawatu horticultural industry.

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Dead ringers? We hope not.

The question being asked round town (with a sense of disbelief by Watchers and sense of wonder by the Lawsmob) is "Whatever possessed Phillipa Baker-Hogan to stand for Council, let alone for Vision?"

We don't pretend to have a secret insight into the mind of Ms Baker-Hogan, but we wonder whether sibling rivallry might have something to do with it? And if so, just how far does Phillipa intend to go in emulating Erin?!

• Erin Baker: Former World triathlete champion, former Canterbury District Health Board member, former Christchurch City Council member.
• Philippa Baker-Hogan: Former world champion rower, present Wanganui DHB member, wannabe Wanganui District Council member.

Spookily, Erin Baker's performance is reminiscent of that of Horizons part-timer Leonie Brookhammer. Back in March 2003 she burst into print calling her fellow councillors "fat and lazy". She even criticised the catering:

Council meetings are accompanied by food, and Baker says cream cakes and gingernuts are all some councillors think about.

"I think some are lazy, yes and there's no doubt that some are overweight, there's no doubting that - you only have to go and have a look."

But no wonder the Diva thinks a Baker sister would make a better diVision councillor than the Mayoress, who clearly doesn't have the bottle to get as personal as Erin Baker:

And of a councillor who "scoffed" at runners she wrote: "She was rather large and had not run a step in the last 50 years."

Pedictably, her fellow councillors were reported to be "seething". But so were the people she claimed to represent:

"Please step down and let someone else who wants to do the job give it a proper go and be able to do it," says Hagley/Ferrymead Community Board member Linda Rutland.

But Baker says she is sticking with the job and will not resign until the next local elections.

And from the Christchurch City Council Annual Survey of Residents, March 2003:

...political bits re Erin Baker, don't need to be bothered with such, no need to fight through the media.

More spooky parallels. Rumour about town is that Phillipa Baker-Hogan has a Brookhammer-like attendance record at the DHB, a record which echoes that of her sister:

MINUTES OF THE CANTERBURY DISTRICT HEALTH BOARD MEETING HELD ON FRIDAY 11 APRIL 2003... Apologies Olive Webb, Paul White and Erin Baker (who has asked that she not be paid for the month of April). The Chair reported that he was having discussions with Ms Baker regarding her position on the Board and her time commitments, which effected her availability to attend meetings

And nor was the Lyttleton Port Co very happy with the performance of Ms Baker, as emerged at their 2002 AGM:

Controversy over Councillor Erin Baker's (known more widely as a former triathlete) election as director:

I agree with the comments made at the meeting that it is bad form for an individual seeking election as a director not to attend the meeting where the candidacy is being decided. Non attendance at such a meeting implies that the candidate is so busy with other commitments that they are unable to give their time to level required of a director or that they are unwilling to submit themselves to the scrutiny of shareholders. These assumptions may be wrong but if Councillor Baker had been present these doubts could have been quickly laid to rest.

Chairman's rulings: The election of Councillor Baker was unpopular with the shareholders present. An amendment that the election or Councillor Baker be postponed was considered and rejected. On both the amendment and the substantive motion to elect Councillor Baker a clear majority of the voices were opposed to the candidate. Dr Layton however declared Councillor Baker elected.

It all ended in tears, with Ms Baker deciding to duck most of the other responsibilities she'd once so eagerly sought. In May, she quit the DHB and the Port company and announced that she wouldn't re-contest for the city council.

Controversial Christchurch city councillor Erin Baker is quitting public office because of growing dissatisfaction and the demands of her full-time job.

Her resignation from the Canterbury District Health Board (CDHB) takes effect from today but she will remain on the Christchurch City Council until the end of the year to avoid a by-election. "It's been a tough call to make but in the interests of the people who voted for me I know this is the right thing for me to do," she said yesterday...

"This term on the council has been an unhappy one for me, and so it's time to step down," Cr Baker said. "However, with elections due next year I will stay on until the end of the year ... to avoid an expensive by-election."

Cr Baker, who is travelling overseas on business, said her resignation from the council meant it was also appropriate for her to resign from the board of the Lyttelton Port Company (LPC), because she had been appointed to that position by the council. Her resignation from the LPC board would take effect at the annual meeting in October...

Cr Baker, the highest polling candidate in the health board elections, said she was sorry to have disappointed so many of the people who voted for her: "I understand why they feel let down, but until recent months I have done my best to represent my constituents, and I hope that my decision to step down from public life will help ... to make amends."

Watchers can't help thinking of the film Dead Ringers, in which Jeremy Irons plays identical twin gynaecologists who both lose the plot rather spectacularly. That film ends in depression and mututal murder/suicide. With Erin having committed career suicide already, the Diva must be hoping her sister isn't planning on following her less-than-stellar path too closely.

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Miscalculations all round

Seems fundraisers for the Splash Centre are pleased with Wanganui's response to a raffle for a RAV4, with 12,000 tickets snapped up in six weeks. Well done the organisers, the many local businesses who helped out, and the people who bought tickets. The Splash Centre will benefit by $21,650 from this magnificent effort.

That only leaves $1,478,350 to be found. As Keith Hindson pointed out back in September, the funding shortfall between the Diva's dream and the fiscal reality requires fundraising of $20,000 a day, not every six weeks.

Meanwhile, faster than the Chron's subeditors can come up with new headlines, a new horse enters the buy-election race, forcing them to start headline recycling. No sooner had "Seventh start for by-election" been forged in lead (they don't actually do that any more - Ed.) than they were relighting the furnace to cast "Eighth hopeful for by-election".

The seventh candidate is Heather Smith, who stood on a Ratepayers' Association ticket at Council election and is a member of Democrats for Social Credit (formerly the Democrats, formerly Social Credit, formerly the Social Credit League, formerly the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (better check that last one - Ed.)).

On the plus side, Ms Smith also had a go at a council seat in the 1990's in a bid to stop the sell-off of public assets and is pledged to oppose any sale of Wanganui Gas. She may be one of the few people who actually understood what Major Douglas was on about, since she has a degree and a post-graduate diploma in economics and is economics convenor for the New Zealand National Council of Women.

Latest entrant is local beautician Chandra Osborne, whom the Chron coyly notes is 25. Oddly enough we wouldn't have a clue how old the other candidates are, not even the redoubtable Mr Hunter-Bell.

She's the owner of Cleopatra's Nails, Beauty and Body Piercing, apparently. We're not sure if back stabbing counts as body piercing, but it would seem she's ideally qualified for a seat at a diVision- heavy Council. And if that's not enough, she served four years in the Navy including a spell in East Timor. No indication so far of where she stands on the issues.

We'd remind all the candidates that the Buy-Election Blog will be up and running soon after nominations close (the exact date to be determined by the amount of Christmas cheer consumed by Watchers, which we suspect will be inversely proportional to motivation levels. That's it, Mickey, send a seasonal carton of Pinot Noir round to the cave and you'll buy some postprandial peace). All the candidates will be receiving by snail mail a formal invitation to contact LawsWatch via lawswatch-at-hotmail-dot-com to arrange their spot on the blog.

And now to Muzza Who (sorry, Hughes), who has obliged the candidates with a column in Midweek showing what not to do when you're elected:

First I will cover representation and agree with the comments of the Mayor (now there's a surprise - Ed.) that we have too many elected representatives. Not only in Wanganui but the whole region. In the Wanganui, South Taranaki, Ruapehu and Rangitikei area there are four mayors, four CEOs, over 70 elected representatives and over 60 senior staff, plus Horizons Regional Council. Amalgamating into one Unitary Authority with a Chairperson rather than a mayor, rural and urban representative from each region, one CEO and say 10 senior managers would produce significant savings but I doubt it will happen.

As for Wanganui, I believe eight councillors would be sufficient. I have served on boards with six directors administering companies with revenue 10 times greater than our City's. My observation is the difference between a well-functioning board and Council is that generally a board will quietly and efficiently work to achieve the best result for the company and stakeholders without all the necessary consultative processes a council must legally go through. Fewer meetings and less debating /arguing could result in a lot more being achieved with ratepayers getting better value.

Ah yes, democracy is so damned inconvenient, isn't it Muzza? Far better that the peasants leave it to those, like you, of clearly superior intellect, to run things for us without all these annoying meetings and all that messy consultation with the rest of us. Sorry, Muzza, we'll just shut up while you spend our rates. Apologies for having inconvenienced you. And of course the boards of our major companies are run so well, and pay their CEOs and senior management such reasonable salaries, we can relax in the knolwedge that following that model will certainly result in those savings you promise.

This brings me to what savings could be achieved by having fewer elected representatives. True, the total salary pool set by the remuneration authority would stay the same unless all those elected unanimously agreed on a reduction. One would hope this could be done but, if not, the savings could be used to better remunerate the Rural Community Board who could be given greater powers as direct rural representation on Council is likely to be reduced to one seat.

Right, so if the turkeys don't vote for an early Christmas, income-wise, we'll achieve these promised savings by paying rural community board members more.

Muzza then goes on to tell us all what we need to do if we're to profit from the Rugby World Cup. We're not too sure what that is, exactly, but we're sure that on the strength of this column, local businesses will just hand over their profits to Muzza and let him sort it out. It's more efficient that way.

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Sandwichgate

A resounding - and meticulously researched - rebuttal of Horizons part-timer Leonie Brookhammer's charges of "corporate gluttony" amongst lunching councillors in yesterday's Chron. Clearly, whilst learning at the Diva's knee she wasn't paying attention when he got to rule number two (rule number one being - grandstand about the little things and they'll overlook the big ones): Never get between a journo and their free lunch. For the humble reporters sent to attend long and droning council meetings, the smell of reheated sausage rolls is not just a much-yearned-for reward but a form of mental aphrodisiac.

"No evidence of corporate gluttony or anything that could even remotely be described in those terms", the Chron concluded. And with a quoted budget of $3 to $5 a head, extravagance and gluttony aren't words that spring to mind - unless you're seeking a cheap headline, that is. But then, boxed at the bottom of the main story, were the total annual expenditures of each Council, with Wanganui's coming in at $8,000. Divided by 13 councillors, that's $615 worth of nosh each year.

Since Wanganui's councillors are actually pretty good at showing up to meetings (unlike the critical Ms Brookhammer) if the assumption was made that most of them turned up all the time, that still comes out at well over $5 a head - maybe as much as three times that figure. Oops.

Cue the Diva in a rant this morning, saying it wasn't true, and blaming none other than monetary wunderkind Julian Harkness for the alleged stuff-up:

The Chronicle was given the figure by the council's own finance chief, Julian Harkness. But Mr Laws said that, for the year since he was elected, the total for councillors' catering costs was $1262.85. He said that figure had been provided to his office by elected representatives officer Malcolm Hunt.

In a touching chorus of marital solidarity, he echoes Ms Brookhammer, sniffily concluding:

"We are not profligate gorgers like Horizons – that seems a particular regional council folly".

So it looks like Harkness's reign as the Diva's favourite could be coming to a quick and sticky end. Harkness has come in for lavish Mayoral praise at every Admin and Finance meeting, primarily so the Diva can point out ever-so subtly (not) how very clever he is compared to his predecessor Dave Foster.

But now it seems the man charged with CFO-ing the multimillion dollar business of WDC and finding the dough for the mayoral diktats cant even count up the bill for a few sandwiches and savouries. He's definitely going to be stripped of his lunch monitor badge. The question must be whether he can keep his prefect's job.

Millions of dollars can be borrowed for Mayoral pet projects, hundreds of thousands siphoned off to be divvied up behind the closed doors of Wanganui Inc., and the best investigative piece in the Chron all year is about the cost of caramel slices. With the newsroom doggedly in pursuit of this breaking story, can it be long before we hear of late night break-ins at the local cake shop, secretly taped Mayoral meetings over sandwich fillings ("What was in the missing 18 minutes? Did the Diva really say they could dispense with the dolphin safe tuna and order the driftnet variety?") and surely, eventually, impeachment.

And while Wanganui wrestles with the horror of Sandwichgate, elsewhere in the world municipalities face equally testing scandals. A journalist acquaintance of some Watchers received an email from a reader presently working in Africa:

"You should come over here, journos are spoilt for choice.The former deputy president just got charged with rape. Last month it was corruption charges for the same good ole boy, who had to be fired after refusing to resign. The CEO of theTourism Board awarded himself a nice juicy tender, and four councillors here just copped a murder rap for disposing of the mayor. It doesn’t get any better than that, you won’t be bored."

Yes, but where are the really meaty sandwich stories?

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Smoke and mirrors? You want aisle 4.

Watchers eagerly sifting through the piles of pre-Christmas junk mail in search of Warehouse or Briscoes' bargains may have carelessly tossed out a cheap and cheerful little eight-page blue and white flyer from the diVision Mega-store.

Like any good marketing manager, Vision pamphleteer Helen Lawrence has put together a relentlessly positive spin-sheet offering bargains galore and promising nothing short of ratepayer heaven for those queuing for the diVision buy-election special once-in-a-term Mega Sale.

A front page heading says it all. Council draws praise, gushes Helen. There’s a spread of mugshots of the new boy network appointed to attend to back-office functions at the Vision Mega store and smiling councillors looking exceptionally pleased to be sales assistants for the brand. (Well, Cr Ray Stevens actually looks like he’s about to bring up his breakfast and what a ten-month old baby is doing in the middle of this lot is a mystery but perhaps diVision Mega is also stocking disposable diapers).

There’s a range of special summer promotions ranging from film premieres to rock concerts to, yes, the council chambers upgrade. (If this was a real retail emporium and subject to fair trading rules, we can only wonder what the Commerce Commission would make of the yet-again-repeated crock that the chamber makeover came in under budget, when in fact a big chunk of the proposed work was quietly buried).

Watchers fighting off bargain fatigue may find themselves even more confused by the Referendum '05 projects update section covering the Splash Centre and City Waterfront development, both of which are in line for special Christmas windfalls of borrowed cash.

Helen tells us all about Project Splash's fundraising "initiatives" and also that "funding is in place" for the waterfront development… and not a word about the fact that the ratepayers are now in hoc for an extra $2.6 million for these two projects. But then of course that wasn’t mentioned either in the cute wee paragraphs that Helen and her boss cooked up to con the punters into voting for them at the referendumb.

We do note that Cr Randhir Dahya made his distaste for borrowing to cover these projects clear at the initial Admin and Finance "discussion". He then went on (but was not reported in the Chron) to suggest at the subsequent council meeting that a new referendumb item covering this borrow-and-build frenzy be put to the punters in February. But as his was the only hand that went up the punters won’t be getting any chance to have their say on this nasty little about-turn.

Now, even our truly horrific credit card bills are required to tell us (albeit it in very fine print) about something called the Credit Contracts and Consumer Finance Act. As the Diva’s favourite minister, Judith Tizard, opined on the introduction of changes to the Act in October 2004:

"The Act allows credit providers considerable flexibility in how they go about disclosing key information on credit products to consumers, provided that the disclosure is clear, concise and likely to bring the information to the attention of the borrower. The manner of disclosure must not be likely to mislead a consumer."

Alas, ratepayers sold a pup by the diVision Mega store don’t have recourse to anything as sensible as fair disclosure provisions. For them, another year of smoke and mirrors lies ahead, we fear.


Update (9.20 pm): In response to a commenter who asks for a new poll with the "real" candidates - yes, such a poll will occur just as soon as nominations close on the 23rd of December. Unfortunately, the polling software can't cope with having names added after the poll is created, so we're waiting till the nominations close. And anyway, you might precipitously cast your vote for candidate A today, only to find that you'd rather candidate Z, who left his or her nomination till the last minute.

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Straight from the horse's mouth?

Oh dear, the LawsWatch cave has a certain amount of Eggs Baker-Hogan on its crystal ball this morning following confirmation of rumours served up here several weeks ago that diVision’s sportiest chick is trying out for the Diva-coxed boat.

We wish to assure readers that certain Watchers have been confined to clear-cutting duties while they spend time in the Cave’s veterinary department being re-educated by our equine specialists about which end of the horse is the horse’s mouth and which end is the diVision mouth. However, the re-education of these miscreants won't be confined to blackboard theory, as they will be required to do shovel duty at Guyton Street to complete their training.

Meanwhile, we hope that Baker-Hogan had her tongue firmly in cheek (and leave Watchers to judge which end of the horse’s anatomy we are referring to) when she told the Chron:

"… I’m an independent and strong person and would never shy away from expressing my own opinion… "

Now that sounds to us a lot like something straight from the mouth of her fellow District Health Boarder Rangi Wills who, since slipping around the council table under the Ratepayers’ Association horse cover has shown growing confusion about which way his nag is facing. In fact, most race-days he even saddles up to start under diVision colours.

And on the subject of Cr Wills, who straggled past the DHB finishing post in the 2004 Election Stakes with just 2761 votes compared to Baker-Hogan’s first place with 4395, we also note Baker-Hogan’s comments that:

"The district’s health concerns were another factor, in my decision. I believe a much closer link must be forged between the health board and the district council."

Can this mean she doesn’t rate Cr Wills’ form very highly, even as the front-running stalking horse for the diVision stable?

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Ball trouble

There's nothing we like better at the LawsWatch cave on an idle Sunday afternoon than a bit of crystal ball gazing (Well there is, but we seem to have misplaced the corkscrew momentarily...)

The latest bout of gypsy-like speculation was prompted by this comment to a previous post:

Anonymous said...
LawsWatch wrote -
Someone from diVision perhaps (the Diva's frantically working down the alphabetical list, hoping to find someone willing to be associated with him. Zebedee is unfortunately committed to another series of the Magic Roundabout. Zorro, meanwhile, has switched off his mobile.)
Yes, 'B' is a long way down isn't it?

At first we assumed that perhaps this meant the Diva kept his Rolodex in alphabetical order of first names, and was busily coaching Bob Walker on how best to stand for diVision - that is, say nothing for the entire campaign and be sure to quickly wipe away any flecks of foam that might appear at the corners of his mouth.

But could this be a hint of something much more spectacular? Since it's Sunday, let's give skepticism the day off as we postuate this scenario:

• After it was well reported on LawsWatch weeks ago, Mayorless Leonie Brookhammer's Diva-like spray against Horizons suddenly gains a spot in yesterday's Chron. "Predicting (of fellow Councillors and Horizons staff "they will seek to shut me down", the piece concludes by quoting her as saying "Doing myself out of a job? absolutely." Of course that's in the context of a long-term plan to disestablish Horizons, but read on...
• In an unusual (for the Chron) move, Cr Brookhammer's claims were extensively rebutted in the same issue, described as "absolute rubbish" by Horizons chair Garry Murfitt, who said he was "bitterly disappointed" that a Councillor would go public in the way that she had. The fact that - as LawsWatch claimed in our original story - her attendance was less than stellar was also revealed - 65 percent versus the overall attendance ofas 91 percent, with councillors even manging close to 100 percent.
• Meanwhile, back at the District Council, the Diva is reputedly having considerable difficulty finding someone willing to stand fo diVision in the forthcoming by-election. And with nominations due to close this coming Friday, perhaps things are getting desperate...
• So perhaps having reached the end of the alphabet he’s started again at the beginning and stopped at B (as our anonymous informant suggests) for Brookhammer...

So, can this be the start of the mayorless’s buy-election campaign? This stranger-than-fiction tale cobbled together from scraps of mayoral memos found in the Porritt St rubbish collection concludes something like this:

Memo: Bob
From: Michael
Re: Leo for Vision candidate?

Let’s get Leo on board the sinking ship. I’ll write her speeches and press releases and we’ll start off by putting the boot into Horizons.

To do list:

1. Put the squeeze on Mas to run Leo’s (my) Horizons dump.
2. Build up profile of sporty chick/young mum profile since the rower’s jumped ship:


1. Spin Fairy to arrange to get her pic in the Comical biking down the hill.
2. Press release from me about quaint little domestic moments like the fact she once did a bit of stroking for Honkers.
3. Get the Chron to photograph her on the track at Cooks - also good rap for mayoral mile. (We’ll have to just hope the cops don’t talk too much about her discus throwing practice).


3. Build up young mum/family values profile: Make sure little Lucy’s birthday gets saturation coverage to rival that other minor Christmas birth back-story.
   
4. Policy:
   
   This is easy: she’ll be giving her councillor stipend away to lots of good causes, of course. Beyond that we don't really need a policy, as I've proven beyond a doubt.
   
5. How to handle her abysmal attendance record at Horizons?
   
   Simple. If she’s going to go to bugger-all meetings she might as well go to bugger-all meetings closer to home. We'll sell it as evidence of her commitment to saving the mugs' money.

Then again, much like Mickey admitted in last week's Sunday Star Times column about his own equipment, it might just be that our balls are malfunctioning...

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Not that sack, Mickey, the other one!

Back in July LawsWatch first created the character of SantacLaws, so we'll be sending the bill over to Mr Maslin and the Chron, who appropriated the concept without paying royalties on Wednesday to headline "Santa Laws" above a story detailing the Mayor's donations to various projects.

Any hope that this might have been a story in the tradition of recent efforts by Sean Hoskins - i.e. doing something other than taking everything said by the Diva at face value - was lost by the end of the first line, which reads "He's too lean for Santa’s red suit, but Mayor Michael Laws is positively Christmas". We're beginning to suspect the Watcher who got somewhat over-heated by our picture of Mayorman in full-body lycra a few days ago may be moonlighting as a Chron reporter.

It mentions he's paid $71,000 gross and pays tax at 38 cents in the dollar - the Mayoral appointment being secondary employment for the Diva in both the literal and taxable sense of the word.

It then goes on to list a variety of things he's spent his money on, including:

• $10,000 on the Mayoral Mile
• $3,200 on the Stayz/YMCA Salsa Spectacular
• $2,500 to the Storm Relief Fund
• $1,000 on the Bridge-to-Bridge Swim
• $500 each to the Red Eye Mural and the Reclaim Wanganui Vigil

That's $17,700 of specifics. He's also commissioned art for public viewing, and paid his own Mayoral entertainment expenses, which are usually a cost to Council above the Mayor's salary. These sorts of expenses include hosting of the post Referendumb ’05 knees-up.

Somewhat strangely he also funds or part-funds two staff in his office, one no doubt being the Spin Fairy. No other Mayor has found the level of Council support provided to the Mayor to be inadequate, but then again no other Mayor has used the position solely as a means to direct the spotlight on himself. That's also reflected in his having paid for the establishment and maintenance of the mayoral website, which is entirely self-promotional, offers no open forum, and yet is unquestioningly classed as a charitable donation by the Chron. By that reckoning, Paris Hilton's makeup bill makes the grade.

He's also made charitable donations to deserving persons in the community. LawsWatch is aware of some of these, and they unequtionably meet the criteria of a genuine charitable donation with no spin-off for the Mayor. And to his credit, he gives this portion of his money with no fanfare.

The salary the Diva receives is unarguably his to do with as he wishes. That he gives even a portion of it away to genuinely charitable causes such as flood relief and individuals in need is commendable. That a great deal of it goes to community activites such as the Mayoral Mile that just happen to place him at their Centre and provide publicity opportunities... well, it wouldn't be the Diva if he didn't seek the spotlight, even if he has to pay for the bulb.

That some of it subsidises staff whose only function is to massage his ego, respond to his whims and manufacture spin is a much greyer area. It's his money, after all. If he wants to hire belly dancers to keep him entertained and feed him grapes and dates while fanning him with ostrich feathers, that's entirely his business. But when he hires people whose job it is to obfuscate, spin, manufacture obsequious press releases to be published verbatim 100% of the time in the RCP and all too often in the Chron - and when that interferes with people's right to know the truth about what's going on at Council - that's when the mist starts thickening.

All in all, though, $71,000 is a relatively small amount in the overall scheme of things. What's of far greater concern is that while giving some of that with one hand, with the other he's taking away - siphoning off $200,000 of community contracts funding to his Wanganui Inc slush fund where it will be discussed (What bloody discussion? We're talking the likes of Ron Janes and Rangi Wills here- Ed.) behind firmly closed doors and given to his favourite "events".

At the same time this is happening he is also allocating more ratepayers money to buy favour with people like the lawn bowlers, where he turned up at the season opening with family in tow and held a $5,000 lolly scramble for the oldies - all helping to build, in their eyes at least, his position as Art Czar and arbiter of what's acceptable (which seems in many case to be populist kitsch).

Also of much greater import is the fact he uses the donation of his salary as a platform to position himself as somehow better than those councillors (in Wanganui and beyond) and other Mayors who take the salary and don't give most of it away. Membership on Council should be unpaid, he says.

It wasn't so long ago that membership of Parliament or a council was purely a club for the wealthy. The gentry would meet to discuss the disposition of public assets while the working classes toiled and paid taxes to create those assets. People then woke up to the idea that this wasn't all that representative a system - sometimes the waking up involved a revolution, even - and things were changed so that representatives were paid a fair wage for the time spent reading mountains of material, familiarising themselves with the issues, and then turning up to meetings to debate them.

It's fair to suggest that those wages have gone beyond what's reasonable - especially when talking of national rather than local politicians. It's fair to suggest that some of the people we elect don't do the required amount of study and preparation for meetings (and the Diva himself has been caught out a few times). But for someone who's paid an inordinate amount of money for mouthing off on the wireless and updating an uninterested readership on the state of his testicles to suggest that we don't pay our representatives is simply disingenuous. And incidentally, Mickey, while you're in Santa mode, we're not at all interested in the state of your sack.

Whether it's a wage earner who gives up some of their income to attend a 2 pm or 4 pm Council meeting, or a stay-at-home mum who has to hire a babysitter so she can attend, or a business person who has to get in extra staff or close the doors so they can turn up, representing the people in elected office has a monetary cost for most.

If Councillors weren't paid, that would narrow the field of people willing to stand to those with nothing better to do, and those with independent wealth. Somehow, we don't recall reading that plan in the now-vanished diVision democracy policy.

They're lining up...

The buy-election field on the right just got even more crowded. And as the day for final nominations draws near (December 23 - also the last day to get on the roll if you're not already - which can be done by going to the elections website) it's likely more candidates will come out of the woodwork.

Latest to throw his wheelbarrow in the ring is none other than one Bren Sinclair - definitely a candidate of the errr, loopy Right. Mr Sinclair is a car wrecker who had his 15 minutes of fame in the RCP last year pushing his wheelbarrow around to oppose the Civil Union Bill. Watchers put their minds to figuring how a wheelbarrow related in Mr Sinclair's mind to the topic of civil unions and quickly began travelling down a road involving the "wheelbarrow races" of our youth... and decided to stop right there.

We await, as some commenters have predicted, the arrival of Frog to bring some balance as candidate du jour of the substance-affected Left. With a field clustered with right-leaning candidates likely to vote-split, it's entirely possible that - as some commenters have gleefully predicted - a Frog campaign might emerge victorious. If he can be found, that is. And can recall salient facts - such as his name and address to put on the nomination form.

So, to recap, so far we've got:

• Allan Anderson (former National candidate, Federated Farmers president, rural conservative, Anglican, family values)
• Margaret Campion (widow of former National MP Cam, community focus, president of Alzheimer's Wanganui, immediate past presidentof Zonta, a member of the Whanganui District Health Board community disability support advisory committee and Performing Arts Trust Board, international secretary for the National Council of Women NZ, arts supporter etc.)
• Mark Simmonds (ex Chamber of Commerce president, business owner, capable of "studied belligerence", thought to have National Party affiliations)
• Bren Sinclair (God's barrow pusher)
• Morgs Hunter-Bell (Rebel without a Laws (maybe?), always keen to put the boot in to the Sarjeant, artists and mayoral critics)
• Someone from diVision perhaps (the Diva's frantically working down the alphabetical list, hoping to find someone willing to be associated with him. Zebedee is unfortunately committed to another series of the Magic Roundabout. Zorro, meanwhile, has switched off his mobile.)

As we've stated in the past, we'll be offering all the candidates - yes, even Mr Sinclair, and Frog, if he emerges - a spot on the LawsWatch Buy-Election Blog, to profile themselves, state their policies and debate the issues with visitors. We won't endorse anyone, but will endeavour to help make the process as transparent as possible - because unlike diVision's pre-election website, the Buy-Election Blog won't disappear after the votes are cast. What the victorious candidate says will remain on the permanent record, against which their behaviour as a Councillor may be assessed.

Meanwhile, it seems there's a campaign, extending well beyond LawsWatch, to use the buy-election to attack various people for not standing. As well as numerous comments (most of which we've allowed, a few of which we've rejected) there are anonymous calls to Chronvox pop polls, Letters to the Editor (hopefully he'll check that the writers exist this time) and a phone call to at least one person's home at the weekend, from some brave person with a blocked number and a made-up name. A week, they say, is a long time in politics. For some residents of Wanganui the noxious climate created by the Diva means the two months or so between now and polling day are unfortunately going to seem very long indeed.

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Miscellaneous nihilism

We were right when we said almost a week ago that Morgs Hunter-Bell will stand in the by-election. He's confirmed it on his website today. As a commenter bemoaned, "...someone only need start a rumour and it gets it's own update". That's because we feel it's better to air information and let ordinary Watchers confirm it for themselves, rather than keep stuff confined to secret caucus meetings and public excluded sessions of Council, then when forced to release it to do so in a mist of spin and disinformation.

A lot of rumours that find there way here are based on fact, but the people who know the truth aren't about to risk coming into the cross-hairs of a wealthy and highly litigious individual like the Diva. Not that we're referring to any particular rumour. No, not at all.

---

Talking of which, amongst the mist which forms the latest Mayoral e-column is this fascinating tid-bit:

We have a special council meeting on Monday to analyse "an investment opportunity" and then have some preliminary discussions on the LTCCP.

Elsewhere in the mist, the Diva reminds us that Council is "a non-profit, community organisation". Indeed it is. So what's this about "investment opportunities"? Not that Councils ought not to take an opportunity to grow ratepayers' money, but it is ratepayers' money that's potentially at risk, so let's see if Council considers ratepayers worthy of knowing what this is all about. Since we're talking gambling, anyone like to bet whether Watchers will be shooed from the gallery before such incisive financial minds As Muzza Hughes, Dot McKinnon and Rangi Wills decide whether to "invest" your money?

---

Scary Mayor continues to pave the way for Mayorman to come to our rescue, with this comment on the LTCCP:

The financial management and governance of the previous council was appalling. I have a horrible feeling that there is still more to be uncovered in that regard, and I sincerely hope I am wrong. Whatever the result, I suspect an ugly LTCCP is in prospect. With some equally ugly choices needing to be made.

So it's going to get ugly, but it's not the Diva's fault. Clearly, like those commenters who've claimed there have never been successful arts politicians, the Diva hasn't read any Vaclav Havel, Czech poet, writer, and former President, who said:

We must not blame the previous rulers for everything, not only because it would be untrue but also because it could blunt the duty each of us faces today, that is, the obligation to act independently, freely,reasonably, and quickly.

---

And while some Watchers are about ready to choke on the amount of mist we're reproducing here, we couldn't let this pass without comment:

There was the usual moaning and whinging from the usual moaners and whingers, over Dr Warburton's reorganisation of the Queens Park facilities – the cultural precinct that includes the library, art gallery and museum.

Cr Rangi Wills is right in his public comments on such people. Nothing will make them happy – they are malcontents. For them it was always the Sarjeant Gallery extension or nothing. They are not so much critics as petty nihilists.

Actually, since a nihilist is a skeptic, cynic, disbeliever, dissenter and doubter we're happy to accept the moniker, but we assume he's also including Jodie Dalgleish (Wanganui Arts, Culture and Heritage trustee, Sarjeant supporters working party member, gallery owner and artist) and Deb Frederikse (Wanganui Arts, Culture and Heritage Trust chair) in that particular spray, since they dared get quoted in the Chron as being "cautious" about the beheading of Bill Milbank and promotion of Sally Patrick. No room for doubt in Mickey's Brave New World.

And we haven't even mentioned how "uncomfortable" the River Queen "premiere" is making the poor Diva. "I'm not a red carpet sort of person", he laments. Well he's stood up the organisers of enough other functions, so the solution is simple - don't show. Forego an opportunity for a media appearance. Go on Mickey, you know you can do it. But since we're in a gambling mood, we'll bet Watchers he'll be there, Mayoress in tow, pearly whites shined for the cameras. Hating every flashbulb of course. It's the Wanganui in him.

---

Meanwhile, make sure you head along to the Council's website and pick up a copy of the quarterly bulletin. Nine mentions of the shy, retiring Diva in eight pages (and, to be fair, we're not counting the listing of his name and email address along with those of other Councillors on the back page). Dot McKinnon gets two, David Warburton gets four, though one of these is just a heading above his photo.

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Update (8.25pm): An artistic Watcher (the very worst kind, according to the Diva) has sent in this illustration of Councillor Morgs off to his first meeting. Don't despair Morgs, we're laughing with you.

We'll give him this much: poli-speak comes naturally. In one paragraph of his announcement he admits to being "friendly with the current set of councillors, as well as the Mayor", but in the next assures readers that "contrary to speculation, I have not been approached by the Vision party about running under their banner" and that "my own name will be what goes on the signs and pamphlets".

Just like Rangi Wills, hmm? His name went on all his material as well, and we all know how fiercely independent he is.

Morgs says his biggest problem at present is campaign finance, and that he "will consider any sponsorship proposals that come [his] way". Hopefully not including having the entire campaign funded by the Mayor the way the diVisioners did, in return for a small price. But then again, they probably weren't using their souls anyway.

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